Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem – Chris Stuckmann

Chris Stuckmann reviews Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.

About ChrisStuckmann

Quick, funny reviews of movies and games, new and old.

10 comments

  1. Ooh! That one! I liked that one.
    I liked it because it was pretty much what you said it was: incomprehensively stupid.
    It is like something made by 14 year olds with a budget. And it is glorious. It goes places. It makes very little sense, thinking about the time-passage in it generates hilarity, there’s splatter everywhere.
    Plot? I forgot the plot.
    It has memorable scenes though: head explosions, that pool thing, the guy who pours blue liquid on everything, and best of all: the giant ninja star kill.
    A crowdpleaser, that one.
    If all bad movies were this funny!

  2. I’m gonna disagree with you on this one. Was it a good movie? God no, but it was somewhat tolerable. My ranking for the Alien Franchise is as follows:

    Alien: It’s fricking Alien, nuff said.
    Aliens Best action/war movie ever. Characters developed and grew, and I loved it.
    Alien Requiem Bleh but at least it knew it was stupid.
    Alien 3 Bad looking Bleh but it didn’t realize how cheesy and stupid it was.
    Alien VS Predator: A travesty that ignored the source material.
    Prometheus: The medical tube scene and the android were cool, other than that it was just stupid and pretentious.
    Alien 4: Burn it! Burn it with fire!

  3. TragicGuineaPig

    Ever notice that pretty much every film or video game franchise eventually reaches a point where they have to use R-E words as titles? “Revelation”, “Revolution”, “Resurrection”, “Reloaded”. At least this one – “Requiem” – isn’t a very common one. Although I find it strange that the Latin term for “rest” is the title to a versus movie. I bet you won’t ever see a movie sequel titled anything like “Pange Lingua Gloriosi” or “Te Deum Laudamus”.

    “We don’t want an ‘R’ rating just to see more violence!” Of course not! There’s also bewbs! XD

    Taking the Xenomorph and the Predator and sticking them in an American town: to me, that’s kind of like that trend of taking medieval fantasy characters and sticking them in modern America. You know, Hercules (with Ahnuuld), Beastmaster, Masters of the Universe, and, to a lesser extent, Thor. A sequel to AvP should have taken place IN FREAKING OUTER SPACE!

    “Get to the chopper!” They should have tried to kill him with a forklift.

  4. Never saw this. Was somewhat apprehensive after the dissapointment that was AvP, not to mention the uniformly awful reviews. I’m convinced it is possible to do the concept of Aliens fighting Predators justice though. Just remove the human element and give us a story strictly about the titular interstellar killers facing off. They’ve established that the predators have individuality, so make them the protagonists, and have very little dialogue, or no dialogue at all. Convey everything through the visuals. Just a small hunting party of predators on an uncharted planet infested with aliens, could be really cool.

  5. I’ve never heard of this movie before but I think I know why. LOL. I sometimes love when you do pissed reviews. So funny.

  6. Chris, here’s an idea: Dark Horse has just rereleased the comic book series that continued Aliens right from the end of the second movie. Why not review that? It would be a chance to highlight what a good writers could have done with the Alien series, as opposed to what they actually did with Alien 3.

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