Children of the Corn – Nostalgia Critic

Stephen King combines killer kids and corn, because they go so well together? The Nostalgia Critic reviews 1984’s Children of the Corn.

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About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

156 comments

  1. Where’s Tamara?

  2. Thank you for at least acknowledging that Stephen King has written a ton of really brilliant and awesome novels, even if a lot of them don’t translate well to film. Others, though, and you should pay some lip service to that (at least I’d like that), do: Stand By Me (The Body), The Shawshank Redemption (Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption), Apt Pupil, The Green Mile, The Running Man (actually written under his pseudonym Richard Bachman), The Dead Zone, Misery, even The Fog. That fucking Shining movie with Nicholson, however, sucks – that’s a good example of a great novel being butchered in the adaptation, actually.

    Oh, and on a different note, Isaac IS Eric Cartman…well, except he isn’t fat. But other than that? I see Cartman doing something like this, including the murders. In fact, there was a parody of Children of the Corn on South Park once, where the kids (starting with Cartman) got rid of the adults by claiming they’d been “molestering” them. It was hilarious. Went about as well as you’d expect.

  3. No Tamara this time? It’s kinda sad. I think she could make a very funny “final scare-girl” impression. I mean she can make a good spoof of that lady from the Church.

  4. Isaac reminds of King Geoffrey from GoT ^^

  5. Finally, something… cornier, heh heh! But seriously, it seems better than the other horror-based stories, being nowhere near as mean-spirited, but just as intentionally scary. I had no idea that the bad guy Isaac wasn’t a minor, but a grown-up with a condition similar to what Andy Milonakis had… Also, I like your jacket.

  6. I think the major writing problem was beginning with the climax. There’s no point in the film that follows that comes close to the scene where they slaughter an entire town. So the movie feels over already after that point. This is just bad adaptation.

    A better adaptation would have had something like that happen in Act 3. The entire film would have been a slower build up to major violence. Lots of creepy behavior from creepy children, the rise of Issac and his manipulation, etc, culminating in a mass slaughter.

    Also, leaving it open to interpretation whether or not the monster is real or just Issac himself (and how willing his followers are) would have been more interesting.

  7. Speaking as a big Stephen King fan:

    The short story is lousy. The film is laughably bad. The remake of the film is good.

  8. As far King films in general: The ones that aren’t strictly supernatural actually make decent adaptations. Rule of thumb: Is Kathy Bates involved? It’s a good one. (Misery, for example – though they do tone down the craziness of the villain for the screen.)

  9. Was the dude who played Isaac the same guy who played The Gump in Legend?

  10. Malachai’s mouth is actually larger than his head. It is creeping me out.

  11. So, I looked up Isaac’s actor. According to the IMDb and Wikipedia, he’s John Franklin (born John Paul Salapatek). He retired from acting back in 2003 in the wake of 9/11, but un-retired in 2014. In between, he was a teacher specializing in creative writing. Children of the Corn was his first credited acting job, but he subsequently appeared in Star Trek: Voyager (“Critical Care”), Wag the Dog, Chicago Hope (“V-Fibbing”), the 1980s Beauty and the Beast series, and the 1990s Addams Family movies as Cousin Itt, among other roles. He’s reportedly 5′ 0″ (IMDb) or “just under” that (Wikipedia), and his “condition” is growth hormone deficiency, presumably primary and not secondary to any other disease or illness. Oh, and he married some dude named David White in 2008, after being together since 1996. I gotta admit, now I’m curious to know how tall Mr. White is!

    (Some random person claiming to be one of his students — though they misspelled his real surname as “salpateck” [sic] — posted a thread on his forum claiming that he was married to an unnamed woman. That was in 2007, and said poster’s IMDb user history consists entirely of 4 posts in that one thread. Because of that and the fact that the IMDb’s forums are notoriously infested with trolls and/or crazy people, I’m inclined to believe that Mr. White is, in fact, Mr. Franklin’s spouse.)

    It occurs to me that the IMDb can make someone sound like a stalker…

    I should probably talk about the review. … Um, it was good? No, I mean that sincerely, it was good. But I’ve never had the skillz to critique gud, so… yeah. I do like that Nostalgiween is being extended! I’ve always loved all the seasonal specials here on Channel Awesome, even though I’m not a big fan of the holidays themselves. Oh, and I like the NC’s special jacket! There, that’s a concrete criticism relating to the review. Right? … Right?

    … I’ll go now.

  12. Well, Steven King as to religion is Doug Walker as to Michael Bay. LOL. 😀 Go figure. OH, so THIS is why Doug shaved his face. I’m glad that I FINALLY got to see this video. I’m SOOOOO behind!

    I probably won’t be checking out Nash.

  13. Neo-stalgia Fan 1

    So Isac’s the reason Beardy went away…?

    …Fucking worth it. X)

  14. I don’t think we talk about your crew too often, but I just wanted to give props to whoever did your Isaac makeup. It was perfect, but it takes a subtle hand to get that right.

  15. I think it’s not so much that King thinks corn is scary, so much as that an agricultural setting contains all sorts of vaguely creepy details like scythes (dangerous-looking bladey things associated with the Grim Reaper), sickles (dangerous looking bladey things that look kinda like scythes, but more effective for murdering with, and also associated with communism, which some people are apparently still afraid of), pitchforks (dangerous looking stabby things associated with Satan), scarecrows (weird-looking dead-eyed humanoid simulacra that are by their very nature intended to be frightening and which also kinda look like they’re being crucified, which even ignoring the obvious religious connections that can admittedly be kinda creepy on its own if played right, is kind of a morbid and gruesome image), middle-of-nowhereness (yeah, good luck getting help when the murder children come after you. No cell reception either), rickety old stuff (not overtly threatening, but still kinda creepy)…. um… hicks (hicks are a kind of bloodthirsty inhuman monster, right?)

    And there’s the whole Mundanger element, but he they totally botched that angle

  16. why would a doll be found in the produce section?

  17. Issac is like a young version of Profian

  18. The problem with this movie is, that its based on a short story thats only 30 pages long.

    Not sure you can blame King, for the producers decision to turn this into a movie.

  19. Why does Issac look like those albinos from The Omega Man?

  20. Doug without facial hair is the scariest thing in this video.

  21. This movie sincerely needs a remake.

    Well, a good one anyways.

  22. All I remember about this movie is that I wanted all of the kids to get killed off in the end, but the director just didn’t have the balls to do it. In the end, it’s really no different from “Island of the Damned.” Comically cheesy & low budget as it was, at least “Beware: Children At Play” didn’t shy away from it….They went full hog on it.

    Issac reminds me of the freaky Elf boy from Legend.

  23. the Ewoch “waitangy” shout was a nice touch Critic. I hope more people caught that.

  24. Shock horror into shuck horror 🙁

    I was compelled to make an account. put up your nostalgic dukes, we must fight

  25. Stephen King must have had an overly religious mother or something… what did religion do to piss him off so much he makes it the big bad of every movie and book of his?
    I always confuse this movie with the one where all kids born have the same blond hair and are evil.

  26. You should totally review The Dark Half.

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