Chris Stuckmann: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Chris Stuckmann reviews Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

About ChrisStuckmann

Quick, funny reviews of movies and games, new and old.


  1. Yeah looking back at the movie its really bad but I liked it as a teenager because the action scenes are much better than episode 1 in my opinion

  2. I was a kid when these films came out so I didn’t have loads of hate for them when they came out. I say that Attack of the Clones in the worst one.

  3. Oh, Chris…..the only thing in this video you didn’t paraphrase from Red Letter Media was comparing Attack of the Clones to Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

    Bad form, Peter.

    • RLM has pretty much covered Star Wars prequels enough for all other reviewers. No other reviews are necessary. I’m not even being sarcastic.

      • I agree. Comparing that cinematic flatulence to a classic like Who Framed Roger Rabbit was completely uncalled for though, which was why I spoke up. He also needs to stop giving passing grades to movies neither he nor anyone else on the internet has nice things to say about. Chris is either admitting that Lucas bought him off for favorable criticisms or he just plain has no taste.

    • Have you ever considered that maybe the RLM reviews are so thorough that there literally isn’t anything left to say about the movies? And if that’s the case, how could Chris NOT “just paraphrase from Red Letter Media”?

      And I think the Roger Rabbit analogy is a really good one. I’d never actually put it together before that so many of those scenes are actors talking to cartoons, and connecting that idea to Roger Rabbit really solidified that.

  4. Jedi aren’t allowed to procreate in fact that’s one of the major changes Luke made when he re established the Jedi order. As for how do they get more Jedi they recruit by finding children strong in the force. Jedi are supposed to be almost emotionless because emotions lead to the darkside. Love turns to jealousy jealousy turns to hate hate leads to suffering. Or in Anikans case Love leads to Fear (of pademe’s death) fear turns to obsession which leads him to darkness.

    The Sith mock the Jedi way the first line in the Sith code is Peace is a Lie there is only passion.

    • I guess the parents of those kids dont love those kids either. The entrie thing is stupid and not very well thought out on the part of the writer. Also, you cant arrange emotions in some sort of logical pattern they dont work that way

  5. I’ve discovered that if you just watch Obi-Wan’s half and fast-forward through the nauseating “love” story, it’s a little bit of a better movie.

    I’d suggest watching “Life as a House” or “Shattered Glass.” Hayden Christenssen is in both, and he’s not completely awful.

  6. Also I loved the Yoda and Dooku fight and yeah that fight wasn’t about muscle it was about the force jedi and sith use the force to amplify their agility and str when they fight which is why and 876 year old jedi can move with such agility and grace. Oh if your curious by the age I made for Yoda he states he’s 900 in return of the jedi and that’s like 19 years after the end of the clone wars and I think the clone wars lasted 5 years.

    • I did not like the fight. Besides that I dont think yoda should be fighting as it seems to go against what his character is all about it just plain and simply LOOKED RIDICULOUS!! It looked like a parody of Star wars

    • If muscle doesn’t matter and it’s all about using the Force, why does Yoda get off his floating chair? Wouldn’t he be faster, stronger, AND flying just moving that thing around with the Force?

  7. wait will you do the star wars holiday special?

    If so Awesome

    if not PLESSEE!!!!!

  8. So here are the plot/logical gaps I found in this movie

    According to the opening crawl, Dooku and the Seps are causing so much trouble the Jedi are “overwhelmed” and Jackson and Palpy are discussing the possibility of open war. so if all of this is true why does Jackson and the Conehead so casually dismiss Padmes accusation? Which brings me to my next question..
    Why does Padme assume Dooku is behind the attack? What’s her reasons for believing this? Hmm…I guess its not important to establish your movies villain right George. Also, Padme says she is against the creation of an army..wouldnt it make more sense to her character to be FOR an army? Given the events of Ep1 she cold have come to realize the importance of being able to defend yourself from threats? Maybe if the Republic had an army what happened to Naboo could have been prevented? It would also make sense for Dooku to want to kill her. As it would be looked at as a terrorist action to prevent other senators to vote for an know..makes sense. Which brings us to the clone army..

    Ok so the jedi just find out that an army was commissioned without their knowledge on a planet that was mysteriously erased from their database, the guy who ordered it was a Jedi who was killed, the template for the clones is a guy you later find out is in league with your enemy and the Jedi just decide to go ahead and use the army without any further investigation? Really? I thought the Jedi were supposed to be smart. Also, I would think of all people the Jedi would have a real problem with using an army of manufactured disposable humans who have been conditioned for obedience and have no real choice in what they are doing.

    • I agree with most part except creating Republic Army (aka Empire) was a part of Sith plot. Whole Confederacy army was created in order to force Republic to go lazy way and give all power to Canceler what they did instead using already existing armies. Of course Confederacy didn’t know that they were used.

      Yes, that still don’t have much sense, but that part was explained just not properly.

      • I’m afraid I dont follow what you’re saying. What I’m saying about the clone army is how easily the Jedi just go ahead and use it despite the mysterious and suspicious circumstances of its creation and the obvious ethical and moral questions using clones as troops raises

  9. The Mysterious M

    Of the prequels, Attack of the Clones is my least favorite. It’s not the hokey, forced romance. It’s not their squandering of the great Christopher Lee (RIP). My biggest problem with Attack of the Clones is that it’s boring! The movie doesn’t pick up and get exciting until the third act. So, I sit through the first two-thirds just incredibly bored.

    • Agreed 100%. It was a snoozefest. I kept waiting for something, anything, to happen

      • The Mysterious M

        I mean, in the other prequels, you have non stop action throughout all the three acts. In Attack of the Clones, you have the speeder chase in the beginning. Then you have the Obi-Wan vs. Jango fight. Then…NOTHING until the third act. And not just it was boring, the pacing was horrendous! I understand a slow-moving pace, building up suspense as you approach the big reveal. But the pacing in this movie was just too slow. Like I said, the third act was great, the first two were boring.

  10. It’s funny that most people were quick to complain about Phantom Menace in the past, but nowadays people have taken the time to analyse the Prequel Trilogy and say that Phantom Menace isn’t as bad as people say it is. In actual fact, Attack of the Clones is the weakest of the Star Wars Movies.

  11. I LOVED Phantom Menace as a kid. Really I only liked the Darth Maul fight, but I would watch the whole movie every few weeks. Even as that dumb kid who loved Phantom Menace, I still hated Attack of the Clones when I saw it theaters. I just couldn’t get past how whiny Anakin was, people say Jar Jar is annoying and he is, but at least he’s only a side character and not the main person your supposed to be rooting for. Plus Jake Lloyd did a terrible acting job no doubt (even knew this as a kid), but at least the character of Anakin was somewhat likable in Phantom Menace.

  12. MidnightScreeningsman2014

    Piotr Michael sounds alot like Owen Wilson to me anyone else? I definitely will check out his youtube page seems like a cool dude with lots of impressions to offer. Anyways the critic said General Palpetine was good but guess you think differently. But i think that Christian Slater probably took acting lessons from the twilight group of acting (also in the back of his hair reminded me of sharkboy with his spikes).

  13. I still don’t get the hate for Jar Jar. He was just…there for me. I didn’t hate him but I didn’t like him either.

    That aside, I really really didn’t remember much about this film. I know I saw it in the theaters with my friend…but I do remember hating all of the Anakin x Padma stuff.

  14. Oh, and yeah, I didn’t like Yoda’s fight either at the time. Honestly, the prequel films I just didn’t care for. They’re just not as memorable as as the original 3, imo.

  15. Nicely done, but I think you’re blaming Hayden Christensen a little too much for the bad lines he had to deliver.

  16. I agree man I absolutely agree 100% that Lucas became quite a shitty writer and director in terms of his “Jedi knight members can’t romantically love nobody” bullcrap idea and other stupid-ass ideas.

  17. Normal heterosexual love is not allowed because George Lucas confused the Jedi Knighthood from Japanese Samurai with the European French Knights Templar (precursor to the Free Mason Order) or Knights Hospitliar Crusaders during the “Holy Land” Middle Eastern Crusades against various Muslim armies or factions 1096-1291, they swore a vow of celibacy but they became so powerful and rich that they might as well have had the power to break their vows as honest Roman-Catholic Christians and marry anway whenever they wanted to, hell maybe even bone some Islamic Seljuk Turkish or Syrian princess but not so much a Jewish noble lady I’ll bet.

  18. Attack of the Clones is better than the Phantom Menace, in my opinion. Padme’s outfits is what I remember most from this movie. I LOVE her outfits. So fabulous. There was less Jar Jar. There were better action scenes. It’s just not as bad and besides the points I previously stated I can’t completely verbalize why but I like this movie more than Episode I. It’s a C+ whereas Episode I is a C-. Also, Hayden’s best role was that Jumper movie.

  19. Dear lord I freaking hate this movie! This is the one that made me feel dead on the inside about Star Wars. I was so bored of this movie that I think I fell asleep a few times.

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