The Lone Ranger – Disneycember

Jack Sparrow’s a Native American now?

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

75 comments

  1. COWBOYS vs. PIRATES!

    Make it happen, Hollywood.

  2. Then again, if this film had come out before Pirates of the Caribbean, would people be saying that Pirates was a rip-off of this?

  3. Only thing I can say about this movie:

    High NO Silver! Take this movie AWAAAAY!

  4. I actually feel that this movie doesn’t deserve a lot of the hatred it got. Yeah it’s imperfect and way too long, but I will have to say I did find myself really enjoying the final climax, it actually reminded me a lot of Back to the Future: Part III’s ending climax. And maybe I just have a soft spot for western action films, but I actually think this movie is decent, not great, but decent.

    • I agree, I actually liked it. I enjoyed it. I did not think it was toooo long. A little slow in points. And if focused on Jonny Depp’s character way too much when it should have been more about the Lone Ranger….but I still enjoyed it.

  5. Yeah, if they just cut down the length, I feel people would just see it as an average Hollywood summer movie and that would be it. Nothing amazing, but I’d still take it over latest Bay schlock.

  6. I loved this movie. It was funny. Yes it’s stupid but I liked that about it. I will give it to you that it was long. still….VAMPIRE BUNNIES!!! 😀

  7. Do Oz The Great and Powerful.

  8. Please review Oz The Great and Powerful I implore you.

  9. Remember Oz The Great and Powerful review next.

  10. Doug before you close off Disneycember please don’t forget Oz The Great and Powerful I’m begging you, people make him do it.

  11. I heard that Depp said that he would either be casted as the indian or he wouldn’t do any more pirates movies

  12. All I know is that I had no desire at all to see this movie when it came out.

  13. I actually kinda LIKED this movie! Then again, I saw this movie at my local $2 movie theater so I may be a bit biased. My only complaint about it is that the tone of the movie is confusing. I didn’t know if they wanted it to be funny, scary, or … I was confused. I’d watch it again if I was bored.

  14. That is more or less how I feel. I found it boring and stupid, but some moments were fun. I understand why people didn’t go and see it, but I don’t understand why the few who did got so pissed off. Oh, well… wrong timing, weird casting choices and too freaking long. Not something I would watch again or recommend.

  15. *If the movie came out before Zoro.

  16. I was kind of hoping you’d review prince of Persia at this point.

  17. This movie is definitely too long and rough around the edges, but I found more to like in it than most, it seems. I interpreted Johnny Depp in the museum as a comment on the position of Native Americans in the era after the Old West: curiosities and attractions to be pitied and idealized rather than people in and of themselves. Buffalo Bill hired Native Americans for his Wild West tour, including Sitting Bull. I also kind of liked the way they incorporated the Hollywood-style Native American mysticism into this Tonto, but made it clear this was not how Native Americans behaved, it was just a symptom of his guilt and madness at accidentally causing his tribe’s slaughter. And finally, that ending train chase scene was some incredible stuff. If only the rest of the movie could have maintained that level of energy. Probably not enough good stuff to excuse the bad for most, but as a fan of history and Westerns in general I got more than I expected from what appeared to be just “Pirates of the Caribbean with Horses”.

  18. Is it true that only americans disliked this film? Anyway I live outside the US and I loved it. It’s really bizarre to here that people hated it. Before the premier it was clear that this is going to be Pirates with cowboys and we got exactly that. Action was creative, jokes were funny, Depp was Depp. It’s one of those summer blockbusters you see to have a good time. What’s wrong with you people?

  19. Surprised no one mentions the scene where the Native Americans charging at the bad guys only to be gunned down by a Gatling Gun was basically ripped straight out of ‘The Last Samurai’.

  20. I’m gonna be honest, I like this movie. I actually know more people who like it than dislike it, it’s already showing signs of becoming a cult film in a few ways.

  21. Running With Scissors

    While I wouldn’t call this film good by any means, and it IS way too long, I do enjoy watching a lot of it. The bizarreness and odd action sequences can keep me entertained well enough, and, like Doug said, the thing with the ballerina is a pretty clever and solid moment. So while it may not be really worth your time, there are worse films and I don’t think it deserved the incredible backlash it’s receiving.

  22. I think Lone Ranger made a lot of the same mistakes the Pirate movies made. Chief among them is that they allow Johnny Depp to steal the show. He’s a good actor and he’s great when he has to share. He does this easily with Helena Carter, hence why the ballerina scene worked so well.

    The first Pirates worked because he wasn’t the only lead he shared the screen with the principals. 2 and 3 were so obviously about Depp and the rest took a backseat. Lone Ranger had this problem. The story should have been about the Lone Ranger instead it was about Tonto feat. the Lone Ranger. The movie needed a gallant Lone Ranger righting wrongs for Tonto’s antics to be less grating. But as the Johnny Depp show it goes off the rails quickly and with nothing to rein it in it stays there.

  23. Kid, have ever seen a single episode of The Lone Ranger starring Clayton Moore? When you were a little kid, did you even have a hero that you revered and looked up to? Or have you always been a snarky, sarcastic little bastard? The Ranger was my hero, years before you were born. This movie pisses on everything I still love about that cornball TV show. Yes, I know it’s cornball, with the white savior out to tame the west along with his faithful Indian companion who has a glass jaw, spoke heap plenty bad pidgin English, and wasn’t much smarter than a saddlebag full of tomahawks. Thing is, the episodes were all passion plays about good triumphing over evil. The show was even progressive fighting for the rights of minorities. Sure, the producers could have called any Jew or Italian listed in central casting, but they cast a Native American to play a Native American, Jay Silverheels. In fact, Native Americans were never the bad guys. If anything, the “renegade injuns” were evil white men in disguise. As for Armie Hammer? He acted like he was channeling a comic performance by Richard Crenna, and reduced the heroic Ranger to an idiotic tenderfoot who got lucky all the time. I don’t want to even talk about Depp and his dead pet bird. This movie is a piece of shit, PIRATES or no PIRATES. Is there room for parody of The Lone Ranger? Sure. It should have been made in 1966 with Tony Randall as the Ranger and Louie Nye as Tonto. This movie? The only things in common it has with The Lone Ranger is a hat, a mask, and a name.

  24. This movie was terrible. I was so bored I fell asleep two times. I would rather watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3 instead of this piece of junk.

  25. Oh my god I just realized something! This is our generations Wild Wild West!

  26. Well if you watched Bards review of this movie he tears it apart. Like the Lone Ranger being shot in the arm he wasn’t really dead he even tried to get up.

  27. It definitely does seem that you might actually enjoy the movie more if you come into it with a negative or neutral expectation of the film.

    My friend and I were very wary of it going in and ended up actually find it fun if a bit stupid.

    Hell the group of older people in front of us LOVED it, laughing at all the jokes and cheering when the theme was played. I completely understand if some one hates it, but really it’s not that bad.

  28. Hey, if Alec Guinness can play an Arab, I see no reason why Johnny Depp can’ play a Native American.

    • Yes, but you need to look at things within their context; Lawrence of Arabia was released in the early 60s – Over half a century later, shouldn’t we be slightly more enlightened?

  29. Hey, if Alec Guinness can play an Arab, I see no reason why Johnny Depp can’t play a Native American.

    • That’s totally different — Lawrence of Arabia was made in the 60’s, and by a British company. In most white countries, there were precious few actors who weren’t white, not to mention that our cultures saw it as totally acceptable to cast white actors in ethnic roles. On top of that, British filmmakers see it as more acceptable to cast strictly British people in their films (it still happens today, though they do have more and more people of color to fill out roles of color) These days… we don’t quite have that much of an excuse — we have a more diverse pool of actors we can cast from, many of whom are quite talented or not well known and might have brought something new to the screen, and our culture more or less expects it now. We don’t cast white people in roles written explicitly to be black (like ’12 years a slave’) simply because we all know better than to ask a white person to put on black-face. Just… just no.

    • At least LOA had Omar Sharif.

  30. Eh, I enjoyed some chunks of this movie. The action sequence with the train was awesome, and I did laugh at some of the jokes. The scorpions made my skin crawl… But yeah… It did feel like Depp played “quirky character #782” and the pacing and tone were a mess. It MIGHT have worked with a few changes, but what we’ve got is what we’ve got. If you don’t see anything else, at least watch the climax.

    • If the whole movie had the action adventure tone the climax had, I think it would’ve worked just fine. The climax made me feel like I was watching the old Lone Ranger cartoons I used to love as a kid.

      As for the plot of the movie itself, the basic idea works well. I can totally see the Lone Ranger working to keep land owners from being screwed over by corrupt rail barons. They just made it to overcomplicated.

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