Thor: Ragnarok Review
"Where the f**k was Sif?!"Thor: Ragnarok is the third of the stand alone Thor movies. The previous two Thor movies I loved, I thought they were incredible films with a great blend of fantasy and superhero awesomeness. Ragnarok does not continue that trend, and that is only part of the reason why it is my least favorite of the Thor movies.
Thor and Loki search for their father, Odin, but soon they discover that Hela, the goddess of death has returned, and comes to reclaim Asgard after destroying Thor's hammer. Thor must return to Asgard before Ragnarok can begin, which will wipe out all of the realm.
You know, when you have the rich mythology, and excitement of the first two Thor movies, I understand that it is hard to make a worthy follow up to them. But Ragnarok is definitely not the way to go! All the bad rumors I heard about this movie have hurt my previous excitement for it, but I tried to remain optimistic in spite of what I heard. It still let me down. It is not good, it's definitely the weakest of the trilogy.
I was really bored out of my mind with this movie. Part of that is how much of the fantasy aspect is abandoned. A lot of the movie takes place on a sci-fi planet where Jeff Goldblum is an evil ruler, and it just doesn't fit in a Thor movie. It felt like something that would be more suited for Guardians of the Galaxy. It also felt more like an excuse for a Planet Hulk reference.
Admittedly, the fight with Thor and the Hulk is entertaining, and is arguably the best scene in the movie. I did find enjoyment in Thor and the Hulk fighting in a different way than they did in the Avengers, and it did bring some nostalgia back from that gold age of Marvel. But it's relatively early in the movie. I don't think we were halfway through the film, and already the movie had peaked. Nothing else could really live up to that, or at the very least be close to entertaining, which made the movie unbelievably boring for the most part as it dragged along.
When it does return to Asgard for some of the fantasy feel of the other Thor movies I loved, it is more entertaining, but most of the time spent on Asgard is without Thor or Loki, and there are still plenty of problems with some decisions they make with characters. Such as my big question, and that is...where the f**k is Sif?! Sure there is a cool sub plot showing Heimdall taking it upon himself to cancel the apocalypse, but when it cuts back to the other planet the movie drops.
I still enjoy Tom Hiddleston as Loki, he is still Marvel's best villain, though I feel he was nerfed somewhat in this movie. Loki was played more for laughs in this movie, where as in his previous roles in the franchise he was always entertaining, scheming, and badass. He had this certain charisma, and while he did have funny moments too, he wasn't a comedy-based character, we could take him very seriously as a threat. Here, for some reason, they decided not to use Loki as a villain again.
Instead we have Hela, who for some reason is not Loki's daughter in this continuity, they made her into Thor and Loki's sister. I don't really get why they made that change, but as far as some changes in the movie went, this was one that I was more fine with than others. Hela is entertaining enough, she is very beautiful, Cate Blanchett is great to watch as usual, and she does give us a reason to fear and respect her.
But one thing about Hela's character is that her persona aligns more with what I would expect from Enchantress, a Thor villain I've wanted to see in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since I discovered her existence. But I guess because Suicide Squad used their version of Enchantress first, a year before this movie could, I guess this made it so they didn't want to confuse audiences with another Enchantress in a superhero movie, and so we may never see her! F**king DC! At least they've improved their films over time.
Chris Hemsworth still has the same charismatic performance as Thor, but it is a given. Just put Chris Hemsworth in something and I'll like him, and also wish I was him.
What they did with the Hulk in this movie wasn't good. As much as I loved what Mark Ruffalo brought to the Hulk in the Avengers movies, both in motion capture skills and entertainment value overall, the Hulk just lost his charm for me in this movie. I guess it's one of those cases where you have this good thing, and you get to use it a lot more, but you go crazy with it and just make a big mess. The Hulk is that big mess, he acts like a giant child the whole time he's in the movie! I get what they are going at, since Banner has been the Hulk for two whole years, and so the Hulk is given time to grow, but I got very tired of the Hulk very quickly in this movie.
Jeff Goldblum is just being Jeff Goldblum in this movie, and while there is a time and place for Jeff Goldblum, I fail to see where he would fit in a Thor movie. Like I said, Jeff Goldblum and his world would fit a lot more in a Guardians of the Galaxy movie, as that is Marvel's place for all the weirdos, minus Craptain America. He's a secondary antagonist in the movie, and I would say he's one of the weaker villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Granted, I still prefer him over Emo Zemo, but I pretty much prefer 99% of the Marvel Cinematic Universe villains overall to Emo Zemo, so it's extremely easy to be a better villain than Emo Zemo if I consider Batman V Superman's Doomsday preferable to Emo Zemo.
But hands down, the worst actor in the movie was without a doubt Tessa Thompson as the Valkyrie. Her performance was really wooden and stiffer than anything in this movie. I freaking hated her character, I thought she was annoying, unlikable, and she made Zoey Saldana's performance as Gamora seem likable by comparison. At least Gamora is slowly becoming more valuable in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, this character is just a bland annoyance that completely ruins the mood when she walks on screen. Every time she and Thor shared a scene together, I rolled my eyes because she is just constantly awful to him throughout the movie, and yet he tries to get her help just because they are the same species. Truthfully, I think Thor and his crew would be much better off without her, as she does nothing that Thor couldn't just do himself.
A big nail in the coffin is learning what happened between Thor and Jane Foster. What the f**k, movie? What the f**k? It's another one of those stupid off screen break ups for no reason at all, and it could've easily been written around so they didn't have to go that route! Was Natalie Portman demanding more money? If she was and I was director, I would've paid her whatever she wanted, done whatever she wanted me to do, and such. Yeah I am sour that one of my many celebrity crushes did not come back for this movie. I am a man, it is what I do, and with how Jane becomes Thor in the comics, she would've been a plausible option to continue his legacy if Chris ever got tired of the role. I hope he doesn't, but I'd love to see a hot woman Thor in a movie.
And the humor of this movie was just so cheap and not funny. This is a minor spoiler, but one of the jokes they use over and over again is the "Devil's Anus." I don't know why there is a strange fascination with anus humor all of the sudden, but at least four times they said "Devil's Anus", and not one of them was funny! Aren't these films supposed to be above anal humor?
Apart from the low brow jokes of the movie, there are many repetitive jokes where they seem like they are building up to something epic, but then it turns out to be a joke to take away the epicness. It becomes very predictable very fast, and it just becomes boring when you expect them to let down the epic moments over and over again.
Thor: Ragnarok is definitely the weakest of the Thor movies, there is no contest. It doesn't fit with the other Thor movies in terms of its theme, it squanders a lot of its potential with bad decision after bad decision, and leaves me clearly dissatisfied.
I did enjoy the beginning with the big Clancy Brown monster, I enjoyed the Hulk fight, I enjoyed some parts of the end, but most of what was in between was a major letdown. As a Thor fan, I was very disappointed with this movie, and that really hurts to say. I wanted to at least like this movie as a Thor fan, but there was just so much that I could not enjoy. When you want to like something so badly, but it keeps slapping you in the face, it ruins your day.
I give Thor: Ragnarok a rating of 3 out of 10 it is wasteful.
And I am so sorry if I made this review too long for any of you guys. I normally like to make my reviews easy to read, and straight to the point, but some of these things I couldn't be straight to the point about. I know I made this review too long, and if I spoiled anything for those of you still looking forward to this movie, I am sorry!
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