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  1. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


    What is this folks? It looks like a Kamen Rider Crossover movie, but it's actually good, and in cannon with the currently running rider series? That can't be right who created this, who wrote this? Let me check this out, ah now it makes sense. This movie was actually directed by Koichi Sakamoto (who everyone who grew up watching Zordon and Saban Era Power Rangers should know by now) and written by Yuya Takahashi the writer of Ex-Aid. Oh my god they actually put people who knew what the hell they were doing in charge of this production it's about time!

    Well with that glowing sign of quality let's jump right in and see what enjoyment we can have making fun of this movie. Though for those who are watching Ex-Aid be warned this movie contains spoilers and takes place between episodes 10 and 11 so keep that in mind for those who need to catch up. We open on another bright sunny day at Genm Corperation. The birds are singing, the office workers are greeting the front desk staff, the really, really, really ridiculously good looking Evil GQ models in lab-coats are killing the guards, wait what? Oh trust me their boss makes this even weirder as he's, a guy with an evil Pac-Man helmet.

    Kuroto knows a bullshit storm when he hears it so he tries to flee with the Proto Gashats but Zoolander, Valentina and Mongo get to him and threaten to blow his head off if they don't get the Proto Gashats and Bug Visor. Apparently all this is about was them collecting on their backpay since they, you know were apparently killed 6 years ago and came back for the sake of finishing Dr Pac-Man's research. Outside the cops swarm the building ready to gun them down until Mongo breaks out the Gekitotsu Robots Proto Gashat.


    And that's when the cops realized that their guns were as useful


    as boobs on a bull.

    The Mongo Bugster then proceeds to wreck the cops' shit in record time. We then cut to some High School students playing this universes counterpart of Bejeweled called Hatesate Puzzle when one of the girls of the group tells the game's creator Tougo that his game just hit 20 Million downloads. But he's not really concerned with that, no he's got far bigger ambitions then that.

    But before his fangirls can register the Sploosh their academy is attacked by thousands of tiny Pac-Men, some of who start chowing down on Tougo. We then cut to the Seto University hospital where Emu is helping a patient with his recovery when Asuna tells him there's an epidemic on the rise. Elsewhere Takeru Aka Kamen Rider Ghost is catching up on his schoolwork when Onari and Akari burst into the classroom to tell him about the crisis.

    Both groups connive on a massive swarm of Pac-Men and Emu and Takeru recognize each other's drivers. OH MY GOD CONTINUITY HOW I LOVE THEEE!!! After the two get their "hi how've you been" stuff out of the way the Pac-Men swarm on Takeru after munching on Power Pellets/Power Cookies and eat his Ghost powers so he can't transform into Ghost. Leaving Emu the only one able to take a swing to them so he transforms into Kamen Rider Ex-Aid and fights off the Pac-Men.

    After the title card Mongo's back at Dr Pac-Man's base who informs Zoolander and Valentina that they've found their target Tougo who luckily has been found by Takeru. Zoolander wastes no time and uses the Photo Drago Knight Hunter Z Gashat to become a Bugster and attacks. Ex-Aid changes into his Level 2 form to give the others time to get Tougo to safety. Valentina isn't having it though and chases the group to a garage where she pulls out her own Jian sword and fights Takeru. Needless to say both heroes get their asses kicked and hard.

    Dr Pac-Man shows up to show that he's the one giving everyone a literal case of Pac-Man fever (no really I thought he was spreading the Dig-Dug virus.) He then gloats and walks off, yep some other villain who got their advice from Mr Freeze. Back at CR they confirm that Tougo is infected but with an unknown strain of the Bugster virus. Afterwords the two groups get brought up to speed on the situation and come up with a solution to stop the Pac-Man virus, Ghost. Since as we all know Pac-Man's enemies are the four Ghosts the powers of Kamen Rider Ghost are needed to stop it. However Ghost is out of commission thanks to the Pac-Men having a Power lunch on him earlier. Kuroto comes in with Taiga and tells the group about the Proto Gahsats that Dr Pac-Man and his crew stole and to get them back no matter what. When Emu asks who they are Kuroto says that he has no idea.

    Tougo wakes up and surprise, surprise he's an asshole and wants out even though he's infected and the GQ demons are after him. Kagami, being the detached asshole that he is says if the patient wants out then let him. Up on the helipad Emu and Takeru talk about how awesome the other is, Takeru even revealing he still has the Ex-Aid Eyecon from the end of his series. Kuroto interjects asking for Takeru's Ghost Eyecon so he can come up with a countermeasure for Pac-Man.

    As for why Kagami let Tougo off? To use him as bait for Dr Pac-Man, though he at least does bring up the good point that there's thousands of lives at stake unless they get the cure for the Pac-Man virus so they can't exactly take the moral high ground in this situation. We then cut to Takeru, Akira and Onari going to see Shinosuke AKA Kamen Rider Drive to see if the three GQ goons have a record and if so a possible identity for Dr Pac-Man. Shinnosuke reveals that they all worked for the Next Genome research institute and that place was known for some really shady shit going down. He also gives them a name for Dr Pac-Man, Zaizen Michihiko. However there's a problem, all four of them died 6 years ago and all of their data was erased, all the police could recover was one video showing the four dying.

    Back with Emu Dr Pac-Man catches up to them and calls Takeru for back up. Shinnouske offers to help but since he doesn't have Krim he can't become Drive anymore so he just tells Takeru to be careful. Dr Pac-Man and his two goons corner Tougo and Emu saying that the entire point of the Pac-Man virus was to find Tougo specifically since he installed a Virus detection program into Pac-Man. Which virus, the Bugster Virus what else? But since Emu and Asuna couldn't detect it in CR that can only mean one thing, Tougo has a brand new strain!


    Which culminated into the Hatena Bugster.

    Takeru and the others arrive and reveal Dr Pac-Man's identity so Zaizen finally takes off that weird helmet and begins going on about his evil plans. Long story short he and his cohorts were trying to create a new life form from the Bugster Virus, something went wrong, they went to the game world, they escaped to complete their plans and they need the Hatena Bugster for their plans to come to fruition. Hatena attacks causing blocks to fall and several explosions in very close proximity to our heroes.

    Yet most if not all of Toei's heroes survive explosions like this so go figure. The good news is that Makoto and Alan drive to back the group up, bad news Akari and Takeru get caught in the blast of some of Hatena's block bombs yet surprisingly only Akari's on deaths door after that instead of both, I guess given how many times Takeru died and just came back during his show I thought the writer would have that excuse to kill him again for shits and giggles. Though I might not be that far off as both Takeru and Akari are infected with Hatena's Virus strain and will both die unless Hatena is killed in 24 hours, because of course it's 24 hours and not instantly since we need to feed the Drama Llama somehow!

    Speaking of drama Makoto and Alan get their asses kicked by Valentina and Emu gets beaten like a drum by Zoolander who literally did it single handedly, ok now that's funny. Zaizen uses the Bugvisor to capture Tougo while his two goons to finish off the riders. Thankfully they get more back up from Kiriya, Taiga and Kagami who also gives Emu the new Gashat from Kurt, the Kaigan Ghost Legendary Rider Gashat, so now they have a counter measure against Pac-Man without Takeru. Good thing too since Zaizen summons a Giant Pac-Man to cover his and Hatena's escape.


    "Pac-Man's a bad guy?" There, that's as far as I will ever get to actually referencing that god awful piece of crap movie.

    Pac-Man then turns into a more monstrous form to chase down Takeru and Emu. Takeru has yet another inspirational courage boost which restores his Rider powers, because Pac-Man's yellow, the Heart of the Cards I don't know how folks either way this somehow helps Emu get over his own blue screen and uses the Kaigan Ghost Gashat to become Ghost Gamer Level 1. Back at Zaizen's base Mongo's finished creating the gene diagram needed for their goal, Zaizen has Hatena reconfigure his DNA to match the sequence. Both groups of secondary Riders force the goons to retreat but not without Makoto and Alan taking heavy damage. Back with the main riders Ghost uses the Ex-Aid Eyecon to gain the Ex-Aid Damashi and Ex-Aid levels up so the riders can double team Pac-Man and purify the virus, they succeeded and by defeating Pac-Man the Pac-Man fever epidemic is cured. So that's where we'll leave things for now check in next time for the defeat of Zaizen, the salvation of Akari and Takeru and some back up from some old friends.

    Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.

    Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Productions.

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 is owned by Joel Hodgson, Best Brains, Syfy, Comedy Central and Shout Factory.

    The Other guys is owned by Paramount Pictures and Adam McKay.
  2. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    After last weeks review of the newest hotness Baby Driver we follow that up with the first MCU staring movie for everybody's favorite New York wall crawler Peter Parker aka the Spectacular Spider-Man. Which only came about after Sony finally realized that if they were going to get anymore money out of the license they should probably let the people who actually created the character take care of it since at least for their movie universe they seem to know what they're doing. Yes, after the poorly received and short lived mess that was the Amazing Spider-Man franchise wound up more dead then Uncle Ben Sony finally allowed Marvel to at least partially reclaim Spidey's movie rights to introduce him into the MCU, first in Captain America Civil War and now properly integrate him with a proper Homecoming.

    Now let me get this right out of the way Tom Holland (not that one who wrote the Tv miniseries version of The Langoliers) does a very good job as Peter Parker and Spider-Man managing to capture both the super intelligent budding science major and the annoying eager beaver teenager that manages to screw up just as much as he helps. Now initially this annoyed me as Peter tended to; as stated cause as much damage that he does manage to fix and him wanting to prove himself to Tony Stark was the main driving force of his impulsiveness but then again most teenagers like Peter do tend to do this so that makes this more tolerable. On top of that unlike characters like Wrong from Toqger, Leftovers from Ninninger or Dumbluck from Kyuuranger Peter actually acknowledges when he screws up, owns up to it and tries to fix his mistakes. Another point of hesitation for me is his modern day comic book incarnation where the writers want to keep writing him as a teenager even though he's been an adult for decades at this point!

    Though I may be talking out of my ass since I don't read comics I just see the movies and Linkara's show so I could very well be wrong in my statements and if so I apologize. Also yes Tom probably won't be replacing Toby McGuire in the popular consciousness anytime soon but I never completely liked Toby's portrayal (personally he does a better Peter Parker then Spider-Man) but hey whatever that's just me. Now enough of me blowing off steam let's discuss the movie itself and what I think this opens for the MCU.

    While it takes place in modern day (2017) we actually open right after the events of the first Avengers movie where a local salvage company and their leader Adrian Tombs played by Michael Keaton are in charge of clearing and excavating the debris from the Chitauri ships that were destroyed during the final fight. But they get kicked off the project by Tony Stark's and US Government backed Department of damage control so they start salvaging and reverse engineering the alien technology, re purposing it into weapons, thus becoming a group of high tech arms dealers, Tombs himself taking charge of his crew with a specially constructed flight apparatus that looks like a giant set of Vulture wings, what are the odds of that?

    Elsewhere after Civil War Peter is still hyped for his chance to play with the big boys but hears nothing from Tony so this mostly results to him pestering his handler Happy Hogan to surprisingly no results. All he hears from Tony is to just stay low and focus on local NYC stuff "you know, be your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man" helping old ladies cross the street, stop bank robberies, car jackers that kind of thing. But when he eventually comes across Vulture he naturally tries to stop him but is of course waaaay over his head and gets his ass handed to him by Tombs and his right hand man. So with his best buddy Ned, Peter has to figure out the Vulture's identity, stop whatever he's up to and prove his worth to Tony (even though Tony pretty clearly does trust him) and still have time to woo his crush Liz and persuade her to go with him to Homecoming, eh see what they did there?

    Now I won't give away everything more that happens but I will give my two cents. Overall this movie is about the most "ok" and down to earth for lack of a better term of the MCU movies I've seen, not fantastic not horrible just you know ok. There's no hint of any of the infinity gems, well duh Peter's going up against a group of arms dealers who scavenged alien tech not Hydra or something so in the over all scheme of the MCU this is rather low key but that's just fine, not every part of the MCU has to be a piece of the big puzzle. I mean if anything all this movie will contribute is that since they introduced a bunch of Spidey's bad guys and that alien weapon dealers business I'm guessing all that will happen is that the Netflix shows and Agents of Shield might have some new plot points to play around with.

    I mean that tech is still out there and not all of Tombs' crew were captured as far as I know so this plot point could introduce other baddies aside from Spider-Mans. And when those villains that were caught get out of Ryker's they could be recruited by the Kingpin which could lead to the Sinister Six. Apparently the Netflix shows could use something like Shocker, Rhino or the Tinkerer since apparently The Hand (which have been the background bad-guys in the Netflix shows) haven't been setting the world on fire, again haven't seen the Netflix shows but I have heard that The Hand and Iron Fist have been pretty damn bad so there you go. Or at the very least this plot point could be used to set up Spidey's sequel. Though there are some plot points that I do want to talk about but I'll save them for my end of the year roundup. So all in all this was a pretty ok movie, not amazing, nor horrible just middle of the road with some interesting plot points for some smart writer to take advantage of latter. So when you get the chance catch up with the spectacular Spider-Man of the MCU.

    Spider-Man: Homecoming is owned by Sony Pictures Releasing, Marvel Studios, Pascal Pictures and Colombia Pictures
  3. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


    I honestly should have gotten into more of Edgar Wright's work before this. Actually that's not quite true I meant to say I should have payed more attention then before, I mean I've seen Shawn of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Scott Pilgrim but I never really revisited those movies more then I should have and after seeing Baby Driver I'll definitely give them a rewatch as well as see Worlds End rounding out the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy. As for what I saw here's our premise. Our focus is on the titular Baby played by Ansel Elgort who's a getaway driver for Kevin Spacey's gang of pro bank robbers so he can pay off a debt he owes him for trying to jack his car. Now that the debt is squared away Doc's not done with Baby and has one last job for him; though that requires forcing him to work with the unstable Bats played by Jamie Foxx, Darling played by Eiza Gonzales and her boyfriend and fellow cokehead Buddy played by John Hamm. And in between this and caring for his deaf foster father Joseph played by CJ Jones Baby meets a waitress named Debora played by Lily James who may be his last real shot of living a normal life away from the life he's stuck in.

    Though the reason why Doc wants to keep Baby no matter what is due to his masterful driving skills which are accented thanks to Baby's condition. See Baby has tinnitus due him surviving a car crash when he was younger which killed his parents. So to drown out the ringing Baby is constantly listening to music on his various iPods which he times to his driving. As the music goes on Baby's movements are near perfectly coordinated with the music which makes him a demon behind the wheels and thus invaluable to Doc.

    Ok so for every other jack off they get a constant annoying ass ringing in their ears while this guys gets super badass driving powers? Only in freaking Hollywood people!

    Ok so who's supposed to be the one called Baby here? However this leads to one of the biggest strengths of the movie the music, stunt coordination and timing around the music is downright awesome. I honestly haven't seen such a brilliant execution of this combination since the original Blues Brothers. The music and the music synchronization is nearly pitch perfect, pun most certainly intended. The drums beat, the guns fire and the crescendo goes when everything roaring in flames you get the deal, also for those who are more musically inclined then I each of the songs chosen for the soundtrack and heist scenes could give more hindsight into Baby's views and personality if you were so inclined. I'm not however so if somebody could tell me the messages and themes of the songs on Baby's ears that could be really helpful.

    Though speaking of Baby let's discuss him since let's face it most of the other characters aside from him and Doc are best left alone. Baby seems to be one of those guys who knows more then what others see of him and thus only seems to talk to them either when he wants to or has to, otherwise he mostly just observes and analyzes. He's not a space cadet like most of the dumber characters tend to write him off as rather he prefers to remain detached and aloof from the job and crews and only opens up to his foster father and girlfriend since they seem to be the only people in Baby's life that he feels deserve it since they care for him and he in turn cares for them. Now I may be reading too much into this and seeing things that aren't there but I'm just saying what I feel is why Baby prefers to keep to himself, just a theory and nothing more.

    Other then that the movies characters tend to be more of "what you see is what you get" and that's ok for what the film is, though who the final opponent for Baby may not be exactly who you think it is. But don't worry, who you think are the primary bad guys do go out in a pretty satisfying way so don't feel cheated when those moments do happen. But aside from Baby, the music and excellently choreographed action there's not really a whole lot going on, the characters relations tend to be pretty straight forward like I said before what you see is what you get and some of the action scenes while awesome do tend to stretch the limits of believability just a tad, not too crazy but seem to rely quite a bit of luck and convenience. The best example is early in the movie Baby manages to hide between two other red cars while eluding a police chopper and swap spots when they go under a bridge so they can make a clean getaway.

    But to sum up Baby Driver is one of the best movies you can see in 2017. Sure this movie may have borrowed a bit too many notes from Guardians of the Galaxy, The Blues Brothers and obviously The Driver which Edgar stated was a major source of inspiration for the movie but hey the movie does show its own unique quirks and strengths to make it stand on its own and does more then pass. So when you get the chance to see this movie do so and bring your own crew and gal. Now on to my next major feature of summer 2017 where everyones favorite wall crawler gets a rather well deserved Homecoming and wow that joke was obvious as hell.

    Baby Driver is owned by Edgar Wright, Sony Pictures Releasing, Tristar Pictures, Working Title Films. Big Talk Productions and Media Rights Capital.

    Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Productions.
  4. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
    Wow-we is it time for another Planet of the Apes Movie? It seems like forever since the last movie and also seems forever since my text review of it. Wait how long was it again? Oh right three years, three whole years since my review of the second movie. Such memories, why don't we take a look at my review of the last one shall we?

    Yeah I was pretty crap wasn't I? Judging by my view count between then and now I might still be crap but at least I'm better smelling crap. Though speaking of crap this movie definitely didn't have me flinging mine at the screen mostly due to it being pretty good. Now for those who never saw the first two movies the third does give a very short and sweet text recap of what happened previously. Which is a good way to solve the "haven't seen the first two movies so I'm not sure if I should see the third one" problem. I perfectly understand that not everyone has a whole wealth of time to movies and not wanting to feel left out when the third and a beloved trilogy comes out.

    Moving on it's been a few years since the events of the last movie and Ceaser and his tribe are continuing their search for a permanent settlement away from the remaining humans who understandably are a little peeved that most of their species were killed by the Simian Virus and are a little trigger happy toward the new dominant species of the earth. Ceaser learns from his oldest Son that there is a place that could serve their needs beyond the boarder of California. But before Ceaser can act his wife and oldest son are killed by a Colonel played by Woody Harrelson so he and a small group of his most loyal apes decide to launch an attack on the Colonel and his unit as revenge. Along the way Ceaser is plagued by doubts set in from the last movie, primarily centered around the actions of Koba. I won't say how exactly but for those who played Arkham Knight (and not Blacklisted Warner Brothers games after playing the PC Version) they should have a pretty good idea how.

    The advertising for this one may be a little disingenuous about what the actual "war" in this movie is. No it's not the obvious Ape vs Human war but a more personal one for Ceaser, now I won't say what it is but those who've seen the last two movies and read what the driving motivation for him and the Arkham Knight reference can probably guess what the "war" is. Once again the special effects in this movie have gone up, still convincing me that I am indeed watching a group of super intelligent apes and not CGI puppets being moved by the brilliant motion capture work of Andy Serkis. What helps with this is in the characterization, you can truly see some great and captivating performances and emotions in the facial movements of Ceaser and the other apes. Though the human characters aren't slouches in this case either, especially Woody Harrelson's Colonel but I won't give away why since this is truly something you need to see for yourself.

    Now as of writing this I still haven't seen the original Planet of the Apes movies but I know enough to know what are the seeds for those movies that are planted in this movie. Now we can all just definitively agree that the Tim Burton remake never happened, right? Right good, moving on because seriously screw Tim Burtons remakes, we may like the guy or at least not have gotten sick of him but everyone can admit his adaptations and remakes are just; as the brits describe complete and utter pants. Again since I do want you all to see this I won't give them away but be on the lookout. But for now all I can say is get your tribe, get some popcorn and definitely be sure to swing on by and catch this when you legally can. Speaking of swinging when I come back to looking at movies either I'll be swinging to music or swinging around NYC, depends on which I get to first, either way I'll definitely be in for a good time so keep an eye out for that.

    Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

    Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is owned by 20th Century Fox Based on Characters Created by Pierre Boulle
  5. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    Here's the link to the last review.

    From where we last left off the remaining Pleiades heed Kazumi's threat and head to the freezer where she erects (phrasing) a barrier to make sure they can't run off which doubles as a motion sensor so that if she senses magic other then her own she'll thaw out the girls they have on ice.
    Yeah folks this is the look of a person who is in precisely zero mood to listen to anyone's hogshit.

    She tells them she's read the diary and it's clear to her how much Michiru meant to all of them and how she cared for them in turn. So then comes the million dollar question. Why didn't they give her Michiru's memories? Saki says that every time they tried giving the clones some of the memories they went berserk. They took it as a sign of Michirus will and then decided to create one with a different personality, thus Kazumi. But this leads to the biggest problem with this plan, she's not Michiru!

    Kazumi hearing this declares that she refuses to accept the idea of Magical Girls being born from hope to end in despair and tells the others to never stop until Michiru and Satomi are brought back to life, they committed the ultimate Taboo so they have to take responsibility and finish what they've started. She also says they have one other job to do, kill her. Kazumi starts turning into her Amazon form and asks one last question.

    Thank you Kaoru, Keelah se'lai.

    She finishes transforming, swallows the two evil nuts to go completely berserk and screams at them to kill her. She then slams Kaoru with her tail knocking her into a wall. Niko asks Saki what her call is, Saki then swears that she'll kill Kazumi as many times as it takes until they truly revive Michiru and she'll bear the guilt each and every time. She and Mirai transform to take on Kazumi; who incapacitates Niko with an energy blast. During the fight Umika sees that Kaoru was paralyzed by a spell, she breaks it and Kaoru blocks one of Saki's attacks to tell her that Kazumi is still herself. She wants them to kill her thinking she went berserk and the reason why Kaoru was taken out first was because she swore to protect Kazumi. When Kazumi stumbles with Kaoru's accusation Saki collapses, her resolve to kill Kazumi shattered.

    But that's because she's sane, Mirai however cuts Kazumi in half with her buster sword without a second thought. But the Kazumi that was cut turned out to be a decoy as well as the Niko that was shot. The real Niko emerges from the shadows with Kazumi shrunken into her tube. As Mirai prepares to attack Niko for interfering she points out that she has a bigger problem on her hands and points to Saki, whose Soul Gem is turning into a Grief Seed. Chapter 17 ends with Niko then teleporting to Saki, creates an Evil Nut and inserts into her, wait what the HELL?!

    Chapter 18 continues with Niko reveling to everyone that; like Kazumi she's also an artificial magical girl. Saki keeps bringing down the thunder which according to Niko is her trying to not become a witch.

    Mirai dives into the electric column and refuses to leave Saki's side even when Juubey says that it's too late to purify her gem. The reason why Mirai is so obsessed with Saki is that when the two were starting to become friends Saki says that Mirai reminds her of how she used to be, this combined with Mirai's ostracization and how she selflessly protected Saki from the jellyfish witch lead to her developing feelings for Saki. So she won't leave Saki no matter what happens. Saki finally becomes a witch with Mirai's last words of her declaring her love for Saki, as her head gets bitten off by Saki's witch like a gram cracker!
    Time for a game of disappearing lives?

    That barely fixes her stoner munchies so the freshly backed witch goes after Kaoru and Umika but the fake Niko uses a spell to restrain the witch and tame it like a beast master. With Kaoru and Umika left to deal with Niko's revenge is almost complete, when Umika asks what revenge she's talking about she tosses her phone to her which is opened to a California newspaper article. Niko explains that after that tragedy; her original self Kanna Hijiri was consumed by guilt, day after day she blamed herself for killing her two friends and always wondered what her life would have been if not for that one bad day. She even created an imaginary her to live out that fantasy; there was her then the imaginary her, mixing the two created "Niko".
    Oh so she took on the responsibility of fighting witches to atone for her horribly consuming guilt while you lived the life she always wanted, boo fuckidy hoo here's the worlds smallest violin just for you you little Rule 63 Kratos.

    Though her anger is less from that but from the day she found Niko and the saints fighting a witch and of course is shocked to find someone who looked exactly like her. Normally she would've thought nothing of it but Juubey approaches her and spilled the beans about Niko creating her with her wish. After she discovered the article about the shooting she was understandably livid about her life being a lie. Though she asks Juubey why Niko didn't just wish those memories away he says that she didn't want to run from her guilt.

    Kanna is understandably disgusted with Niko's decision and wants revenge on her and her friends. So she makes her wish, for the power to sneak on people without being noticed so she can get a front row seat for the moment of Niko's death. From her observations she learned about Niko's suffering and the Saints' plans. When she found out that another artificial magical girl was created she was understandably over the moon, but at the same time the way the Saints were running rough shod over everyone pissed her off but good. Kaoru assumes that Kanna was the one manipulating everyone, however she admitted that all she did was create the evil nuts using Niko's reformation magic and Umika's Ex File.

    In truth all she had to do then was point Yuuri and the Souju's in the right direction and everything else was all them. All she needed was to get the girls to use up their magic thus corrupting their Soul Gems, her plan was going perfectly until Yuuri accidentally switched the suitcases with Tachibana. The volume then ends with Umika then asking what her end goal in all of this is now that she has Kazumi.

    New humanity with Kung-Fu grip!!

    "Screw humans I'll make my own species, with blackjack and hookers, in fact forget the new species!"

    Needless to say humanity and our three remaining protagonists are up shit creek without a boat much less a paddle, tune in to the coverage of the last Volume of Kazumi Magica to see the outcome of this story and afterwords my analysis of this entry in the Madoka franchise. Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

    Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation is owned by LBS Communications, Nelvana Communications and Colombia Pictures.

    Attack on Titan is owned by Hajime Isayama and Kodansha.

    Attack on Titan abridged is owned by Team Four Star.

    The Spoony Experiment is owned by Noah Antwilder.
  6. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    All they wanted was to bring back someone dear to them and would go to any lengths to do so, is that so wrong?

    Now it has been far, far too long since we've gone back to the world of Madoka Magica, particularly Kazumi and the Pleiades Saints. Long story short, real life got in the way and I needed some time to myself. Though I have been sporadically been releasing new reviews I will be back to a normal schedule from now on. Though I will be experimenting between once every Monday or Friday, I'll test this for a few weeks to see which day will generate more views but if you all have a suggestion be sure to let me know in the comments. Now as for Kazumi since it's been a few months since my last review there will be no doubt a few of you who have forgotten what's happened in this not so happy story so here are the links to my previous reviews so you can be caught up.

    Part 1

    Part 2

    Part 3

    Part 4

    Part 5

    Part 6

    Speaking of memory loss how was Kazumi since we last saw her?
    Oh right one of her friends going crazy, telling her she's a clone and sending the rest of the clones to kill her. Well she's had better days that's for certian.

    As if fighting against 12 of you wasn't bad enough Satomi decides to shake Kazumi even more by telling her what really happened when Michiru became a witch. It was a dark and stormy night, just like that night (no seriously) and Michiru was making her grandmas strawberry risotto to celebrate Umikas first book publishing under her real name. Everyone was happy and celebrating until everyone started thanking Michiru for helping them become magical girls, but as you can imagine she knew the truth at that point so she witches out over her tremendous guilt. Satomi says that Yuuri being when they found out was a lie that Umika used to soften the blow for the others. So on top of all their other horrible acts these girls have also been manipulating their own memories to hide the truth and have been committing the ultimate taboo at least 13 times to resurrect their dead friend.

    You think that only once would be enough to get the point across but noooooooo! Well brother I guess they're just the type of people who have to touch the stove twice before they realize "ow that's hot!" I mean we were just little kids when we tried that, what's their excuse?

    And just like with the Fullmetal Pipsqueak and his big little brother the Pleiades' attempts weren't exactly all that successful to say the least, but these clones at least look somewhat human. But close ain't good enough and with Kazumi starting to turn into a witch as well, they'll have to try again.

    Personally I would have maybe brought Kazumi a chair for her to sit down and take this all in or a "sorry you're not who you think you are" Card and a Gift Certificate to Amazon or something not just drop it on her and try to kill her in cold blood but then again I would't even be in this situation because I'm not that crazy yet! Also Niko what are you doing up there? You are not Batgirl!

    Satomi continues to pour Salt and Lemon juice on Kazumi's wound by telling her the reason why Saki couldn't go through with killing the failed prototypes, she was so in love with Michiru that she couldn't bear to kill something with her face; much to Mirai's ire as she was overhearing everything near by. So Satomi figures she'll kill two birds with one stone by using her Phantasmo Bisbiglo to take control of Kazumi, have her and the clones fight to the death and she'll finish off the winner, easy peasy.

    So Kazumi's forced to do battle with her clones and during the skirmish she discovers that since she was created using the magic of the others she in turn can use their abilities such as Umika's barriers, Kaoru's super hard skin, Mirai's Dragon Slayer and Saki's lightning speed. To add to the horror of finding out she's a Super Skrull; when she took excessive damage her body absorbed the dead clones nearby and regenerated. The chapter ends with the last clone begging Kazumi to kill her; she can't do it but Satomi is more then willing as she impales both Kazumi and the clone with her feral cat wand.

    Chapter 15 continues with Satomi chuckling to herself over her victory, but when she sees Kazumi regenerating from the last clone she finally snaps and becomes a witch. The beast tamer witch attacks Kazumi who in turn transforms into a pseudo witch form herself.

    Not exactly like that but close enough. Especially since this may be an amalgamation between Kazumi and what Michiru's Witch form may have looked like. The beast tamer witch then summons her familiars which swarm over The Witch Amazon; who then in turn uses Mirai's La Beastia spell to take control of the familiars which tear through the witches shell and exposes the core creature.

    Tell me about the Rabbits George. "Click" "VIOLENT CRUSH!"

    Saki regains consciousness at the worst time as she sees Kazumi smashing Satomi's lifeless head into the wall like a paintball pellet. Kazumi is of course horrified by what she did but Saki hugs her and tells her that it wasn't her fault.

    Well congratulations Saki you have said the absolute wrong thing to her and have just confirmed Satomi's stance that all Kazumi was is just a cheep replacement for Michiru.

    To confirm how completely she had fucked up Kazumi is of course furious of Saki only seeing Michiru and not her. She turns to Kaoru and Umika and begs them to answer if she's human, her memories are real and not all just a fabrication. When they don't respond she teleports away in tears. Back at base Niko can't track her since she's subconsciously hiding her energy. Saki apologizes for failing to destroy the clones but Mirai tries to assuage her guilt by saying that the group shouldn't have placed the burden on her since they knew how much Michiru meant to her, that even though they knew she couldn't kill them they just didn't want to face the truth.

    Niko has to be the buzzkill and brings up two major problems that need to be addressed; first what to do with Kazumi now that she's turning into a witch; second what to do about Satomi now that she's dead and all that's left is her corpse and grief seed. Saki says that they'll just keep reviving Michiru and Satomi till they finally get it right. Everyone agrees except for Kaoru who of course brings up the tiny little fact that Kazumi isn't just some mistake to sweep under the rug that she's you know, a sentient being and all. But she gets overruled by Saki with her asking if she's willing to let Michiru's diary just end with her descent into despair.

    Later on Saki and Mirai are out looking for Kazumi where Saki thanks Mirai for speaking up for her back at the meeting, Mirai bashfully blushes and says that she totally knows how Saki feels.

    So much so that she'll kill Kazumi nice and slow. Is there anyone on this team who isn't bat squeak loco?

    This chapter ends with Kazumi alone, depressed, miserable, broken, alone and in tears over how her whole existence is a lie, her friends only see her as a cheap replacement of Michiru and how she has no one else in the world she can turn to, until she's confronted by a familiar face.

    Chapter 16 shows who that familiar face is. It's the detective from the first chapter, however she's had her memories altered by Umika so that the bombing was placed on fake people; hers and Tachibana's involvement were changed and that her memories of being the Mantis Witch were removed. The detective offers to take her home and during the ride the conversation leads to the detective investigating the disappearances of young girls, one of whom was Airi. Several of the missing girls had a similar word pop up in their texting history before their disappearance, "Hyades" however the address that sent the texts wasn't in the phone company's records.

    The detective then asks if Kazumi recovered her memories, which causes Kazumi to start crying not just because of recent events but.
    Well at least she's not completely miserable, she might be a homunculus but hey a girl's gotta eat.

    They stop by Tachibana's bistro where Kazumi falls asleep and the two adults have a conversation about why the detective is so determined to solve the disappearance cases. Her friend from middle school also disappeared when the two moved up to their third year and her friends 3 year old sister told that she was a magical girl. Though of course nobody but the detective believed her. We cut to a week later where Kazumi was staying with Tachibana. He tells her that she was sent a diary, Michiru's to be exact.

    (Also apparently she knew Yuuri before she met the six and also encountered Kyoko, so great another cameo.) It tells how she figured out that Magical girls become witches and so to prolong her friends she always let them use their earned Grief Seeds first. The book also contained a letter from Kaoru warning her to skip town and that she'll do everything she can to protect her, that she's Kazumi and not Michiru and how she'll always be her friend. This was the motivation to give Kazumi a plan of action regarding the Pleiades, so she shares her recipe for Strawberry risotto with Tachibana and says her goodbyes to him. Our chapter ends with her telepathically contacting the girls and give them an ultimatum, either come to the freezer and face her all at one or else.


    Next Hunt: Witches Brew

    Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

    Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.

    Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.

    Fullmetal Alchemist is owned by Studio Bones, Square-Enix, Funimation, Viz Media and Hiromu Arakawa.

    Hot Fuzz is owned by Edgar Wright, StudioCanal, Working Title Films, Big Talk Productions and Universal Pictures.

    The Whitest Kids U Know is owned by Sam Brown, Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore, Darren Trumeter, Timmy Williams, Good Shepard Productions, Jimco and IFC.

    Rick and Morty is owned by Justin Rolland, Dan Harmon, Justin Roiland's Solo Vanity Card Productions, Harmonious Claptrap, Starburns Industries, and Williams Street
  7. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    Yeah when you look at all the bodies you tend to start thinking along the lines of "God how did I become friends with these psychos?"

    As we delve back into the memory pool Juubey is approaching Kazumi with the wish offer. She accepts it without hesitation and wishes for her Grandma to be healthy but to die as she naturally would. Juubey asks why she wouldn't wish for her grandma's full health or even to extend her life but Kazumi doesn't want to go against her wishes and if that means she'll die as she would have so be it.

    Kazumi, only 16 years old and yet still a better person then Peter Parker.

    So with the last day with her grandmother Kazumi asks for her to teach her how to make her strawberry risotto so that she'll always have something to remember her by.
    Oh goody another genuinely heartwarming scene I can't snark at, poop.

    After the story Mirai asks if it's possible for her to become a magical girl. Juubey being the opportunistic hell beast that it is is all too willing to hear their wishes.

    "Kazumi" We can use the museum to store all our excess guns from the bi monthly run. "Satomi" That way they'll be so indebted to me they'll help me to conquer the world! Or at the very least help me do a less creepy version of Cats since, you know they'll actually be cats instead of freaking furries." "Juubey" "You want to grow what now? Ok but don't blame me if people think you're a demon or something." "Saki" "Let's face it with my sister dead I need my ganja fix somehow and I'm not buying from that old pervert with the turtle!" "Umika" "I know someone out there shares my love of covering the world of death rabbits!" "Kaoru" "Now when I go back I can beat the tar out of them myself for that girl nearly killing herself!"

    So the group became magical girls, Kazumi names the group The Pleiades Saints and everyone was having a good time.
    Damn it Mami even when you aren't aware of it your influence is everywhere

    We also saw that when Kazumi lost her grandmothers earrings Saki went out of her way to get new ones, clearly showing some level of attraction to Kazumi; much to Mirai's chagrin. But the fun times ended that fateful night at the Asunaro Dome. They were going to recruit Yuuri into the group until she became a witch. After the group put her down they confronted Juubey and he spilled the beans and how the answer was staring them right in the face.
    In fact using almost the exact words he used when Sayaka became a witch in the show.

    So Umika decided to head butt Juubey so damn hard she rewrote his memories.
    Ok this only makes their actions even dumber since according to Umika now that Juubey works exclusively for them that means that no other magical girls will be able to purify their gems thus more witches will pop up and kill more people! You know for people who say they want to stop the magical girl system they seem to only be focusing on the parts that are problematic for them and not, you know THE PEOPLE THAT'LL BE TORN TO PIECES BY THE WITCHES!! But then again as we saw with Kazumi saving them students do tend to take after their teachers.

    With the flashbacks finally over Kazumi's iris' briefly change into how they were when she had the evil nuts inserted into her, which doesn't escape Satomi's notice. We end this chapter with the group calling it a day save for Saki and Satomi, where Satomi makes a proposal to Saki.

    Now who can say no to such a rational and thought out argument like that with a face like this?

    Satomi has gone bye-bye Egon. My head cannon now dictates that this song will now be playing in her head for the rest of her days.

    Chapter 13 picks up immediately after this with Saki asking why since everything's going well this time. Wait, this time; what the hell? But Satomi starts chuckling to herself about how Saki can't kill her since she's clearly in love with Kazumi; she also mentions that she knows Saki's dirty little secret.

    I know you've been using the leftover pods to store your brownies, seriously Saki-chan you need an intervention. Remember what Mario-san said?

    Back at the ranch Kazumi's sleeping after the trauma of the day and Kaoru is asking Umika if things will work out this time with her thinking back to Kazumi's state under the evil nut. Saki then shows up and comes inside asking about Kazumi and if the evil nuts are behind what happened to her. Umika doesn't know but figures that the one who made them who was behind Yuuri and Souju would know for sure. Saki asks if it wasn't the nuts and that this was another failure. The duo disagree both thinking that things are going perfectly this time.

    Saki however brings up when Niko became a witch and that her soul gem wasn't cloudy at all when it happened. She then starts to freak out saying that even though they all care about "Kazumi-chan" if they keep using their magic the way they have then they'll end up as witches. Umika however knows that something's wrong; since the real Saki never said Kazumi's name with the suffix chan before. With the jig up Satomi has the mind controlled Saki attack.

    I'm sorry Kaoru-chan, Umika-Chan but you see; Cookies need love like everything does!

    She manages to incapacitate Kaoru by dropping a chandelier on her which frees her to rush into Kazumi's room and take a stab at killing her. However Saki manages to regain enough control to stab herself with the dagger instead. Satomi just changes her plans and has her bring Kazumi to her. Satomi then opens a secret room and tells several figures that it's their turn. Saki manages to bring Kazumi back to the museum and falls unconscious; Satomi shows up says that she's going to kill Kazumi.

    She also tells her that the group lied to her again. The truth is that they didn't find out the truth about Magical girls and witches when Yuuri turned, but it was when Kazumi's original self Michiru Kazusa became a witch. She turned but the six loved her so much that they tried to bring her back to life, so they stuffed the corpse with the witch's flesh to create a clone, like stuffing a teddy bear with cotton. Great so on top of mass kidnappings, they've also been experimenting with resurrecting the dead; HOW ARE THESE GIRLS NOT THE VILLAINS?! Kazumi is of course disbelieving but Satomi points out how her Soul Gem looks like a grief seed as proof that Kazumi is really a witch in human skin.
    Well to be fair that was kind of a tip off but hey look at the bright side at least it can't get worse!

    So the volume ends with things getting worse, since the incident with the evil nut Satomi thinks that Kazumi's another failure and since Saki can't get the job done she'll have to do it herself, and by that she'll send the previous 12 clones to kill Kazumi aka clone #13, and she won't even be buried with her trucker hat!

    Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
    Spider-Man is owned by Steve Ditko, Stan Lee, Marvel Comics and The Walt Disney Corporation.
    Bioshock Infinite is owned by Ken Levine, Irrational Games, 2K Games and Take-Two Interactive.
    The Combine Harvester is owned by The Wurzels and EMI records.
  8. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    In Memory of Adam West the Original Tv Batman
    Sep 19 1928-Jun 9 2017 Sleep well, old chum.

    This year has been a rather turbulent one for many reasons. But those discussions will be saved for remissions at the end of the year as per tradition. Though the most recent reason as of this article is of course the passing of Adam West. Now I first knew of him as the first Tv Batman and the mayor of Quahog on Family Guy but his impact on nerd and just culture in general cannot be stated by me. So I will direct you to Moviebob's tribute to the man right here so that you can at least get a more experienced perspective of Adam's contribution to Batman and pop culture.

    If I may be so bold I would like to channel what little I know of his take on the character and give a bit of a soliloquy as Adam West's Batman. "I know our time together was far too short my friends, but do not despair, though I may be gone the world keeps on turning. Times may be dark but there will be your fellow man to show you the light and help to pull you out of the pit. If not your friends, then your family, if not them then perhaps a kind hearted stranger on the street it does not matter. For you see; hope, love and justice shall always find a way if one never stops looking. Be of good cheer and keep your spirits and heads high chums."

    But speaking of tradition and on to less depressing material it's time once again for the debut of the final form for this years Kamen Rider. This time it's Ex-Aids Muteki Gamer Lv 100.
    Well aside from it looking very pointy there's another detail that's unavoidable about this form.

    But as of writing this article I have absolutely no idea what this form is supposed to do. We already know Maximum Gamer Lv 99 can reprogram Bugsters so for all I know this form can let Emu turn Bugsters into rice pudding or something. Aside from that Ex-Aid itself has been proving to be an exceptional Rider series with lots of good character focus and development (for the most part, Kagami is a dumbass btw) and doing so with very few, recurring monsters. Though if you think I may be a bit biased because Ex-Aid is video game themed, well you may be right but but it dosen't matter how good, bad or ugly the themes of a series is if the writing can't carry it through. Case in point what's left of the trash of 2016 White Lantern Takeru Sato aka Kamen Rider Ghost Mugen Damashi.

    Once again this form looks like the Metallic Armor from MMPR Season 3 mixed with the White Lantern outfit.

    Ghost was a very sad and troubled production; it started off interestingly enough with the first quarter but as it went on the writing just kept on getting worse and worse with Takeru constantly dying and being revived more times then the cast of Dragon Ball to gain new forms. On top of that the show had the reset button slammed on his 99 days to get the Eyecons thing. Then Mugen was supposed to debut and everything went completely down the tubes. All of which can be attributed to the Japanese Dan Didio himself Shinichiro Shirakura, on top of cutting Ghost's funding in half for Kamen Rider Amazons he apparently pulled the head writer away, leaving only the two secondary writers to write nothing but filler episodes after Mugen premiered until he came back for the final arc since he didn't leave them any notes of how the story should progress and the stalling was painfully obvious.

    On top of that the powers of Mugen are barely explained or addressed. From what we see in the show it's apparently supposed to channel the power of raw emotion but in practice it just switches on Ghost's god mode. Every single fight with Mugen is a curb stomp, either Ghost is delivering the curb stomps or it's getting spanked like nobody's business. Not to mention these powers facilitate the episodes having to reestablish Takeru's connections to the Luminary Eyecons to get a different flavor of unimpressive finisher and life lesson that he should have learned 5000 times before this. In my opinion a Rider's Final form encapsulates the overall condition of the show if the form is badly designed, has defined and poorly explained powers and has a rushed and shoddy introduction then that seems like a sign that the creators and therefore the show just doesn't care.

    I hate Mugen Damashi for not only just the reasons listed above but for the potential that was clearly squandered and misused. Ghost could have been a great series and the first quarter showed potential but as it went on it just got worse and worse and that is a true shame. So I'm putting Mugen right between Hibiki Armed (the other notable Kamen Rider Production Shirakura fucked with, not a coincidence I assure you) and Ryuki Survive.

    #18 Hibiki Armed
    #17 Ghost Mugen Damashi
    #16 Ryuki Survive
    #15 Agito Shining
    #14 Decade Complete
    #13 Stronger Charge Up
    #12 Fourze Cosmic States
    #11 Faiz Blaster
    #10 Drive Type Tridoron
    #9 Wizard Infinity Style
    #8 Kabuto Hyper Form
    #7 Blade King Form
    #6 Ultimate Kuuga
    #5 W/Double Cyclone Joker Xtreme
    #4 OOO Putotyra Combo
    #3 Den-O Liner Form
    #2 Gaim Kiwami Arms
    #1 Kiva Emperor Form

    Ex-Aid in the meantime still has a way to go before we get to the next Rider Series. So far Ex-Aid has definitely made up for Ghost and hopefully Muteki Gamer will not disappoint. As for my next Tokusatsu review I'll give you all some hints. One it has 5 (technically 4 1/2) Riders in it and Two, IT'S BETTER THEN PIXELS!!!! But there's also one more thing to address here, HAPPY THIRD YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!

    Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

    Batman (1960) is owned by DC Comics, Greenway Productions, 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros Television Distribution.
    Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
    Austin Powers: Goldmember is owned by Gratitude International, Team Todd, Moving Pictures, and New Line Cinema.
  9. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


    It's been a long time coming but we finally get a DCEU movie that's actually good. It's not the flaming garbage fire that was Man of Steel or Batman V Superman nor was it the jumbled pile of meh that was Suicide Squad no Wonder Woman is actually good. If ever there was a movie that DC and Warner Bros needed to NOT screw up royal it would be Wonder Woman. No seriously this is not only just a good sign for DC's movie universe project but now they've actually accurately portrayed one of their characters that isn't connected to Batman in terms of family of comics or central mythology and we haven't seen that on the big screen since way back with the Cristopher Reeves Superman movie, yeah that long ago until DC managed not to screw up anyone who isn't Batman and thankfully the pulled it of with the most iconic (proper Iconic not Ubisoft iconic) female Superhero period!

    This is probably going to be seen as a pretty damn important movie not just for the Superhero genre as a whole but definitely for female moviemakers and female portrayals. Now as a guy I'm most definitely not the one to make any definitive statements nor do I really think I should (aside from that last sentence but whatever) but I really do think this is going to go down in the history books as one of the biggest game changers for cinema. As for the movie itself Wonder Woman's origin pretty much remains the same except that it takes place during the first world war instead of WW2 since the movie is going for a "war and people are a mix of different shades of grey and there's good and evil to be seen in everyone" message and well Nazi's kinda tend to make that message a bit more then murky unless the Nazi in question is a cyborg and the big bad guys are 3 resurrected near invincible monster men who look like they jumped off of a Man-O-War cover.

    Though in a Superhero movie, super powered body builders and cyborg Nazis wouldn't be unwelcome but when trying to convey a message they tend to make it a little more complicated I'm just saying. Now back on topic anyone who knows Diana's backstory knows the drill Hippolyta creates Diana from clay, Zeus brings her to life as her child she grows up on Themyscira US Pilot and Spy Steve Trevor crashes, Diana agrees to bring him back to Man's world since according to him the war to end all wars is going on along with the creation of a new truly terrible weapon. Diana and the rest of the Amazons believe that Ares the God of War is the one pulling the strings since he's an asshole and this is basically his MO. So Diana steals the Lasso of Truth, the armor and a ceremonial sword that is said to be able to kill a god and goes back to Mans world with Steve to try to stop the war by killing Ares since with him dead it will be permanent end to war, hate, violence and traffic accidents and wooooo boy is she gonna be in for a disappointment.

    Now having seen nothing else that Gal Gadot was in and only knowing Chris from the New Star Trek movies the chemistry between the two works like a charm and let me tell you all as someone who's only major exposure to the Spirit of Truth was from the truly magnificent Justice League series I look at Gal Gadot and I don't see an actor I saw freaking Wonder Woman. Or at least a hell of a lot more of an accurate live action modern depiction then with Bonkers Betty from that awful 2011 pilot I'll tell you that much. though personal theory here, but it seems that this is yet another sign of a major change in DC, ever since the New 52 line ended in their comics line there seems to be a major spark of reinvigoration and creativity in their products first with Lego Batman But this is just dancing around the fact that you all should go see Wonder Woman whenever you get the chance.

    Wonder Woman (2017) is owned by DC Films, Warner Bros Entertainment and Patty Jenkins Based off the character created by William Moulton Marston.

    Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media.
  10. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


    Yes I'm once again back from my month long Persona 5 break, long story short Persona 5 is so far my best game of 2017 and I'll be back to releasing content only once a week, I fell into the old quantity over quality trap and now I know better. Sorry for my break but now we can get back to business as usual. (Note as of writing this article I've only seen up until episode 27 so if there is new information that contradicts the actual series I apologize.)

    From the unholy and annoying mess that is Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger to a show that is actually doing far better with far, far less resources, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid. The premise is that a computer virus that came into existence on Y2K has been infecting real people with a disease called Gamer Syndrome. This disease manifests as evil video game characters that emerge from the infected which try to absorb them to become perfect beings by weakening their immunity to the virus through stress. Specifically by destroying or killing places or people related to their current hang ups. ( For example say an infected person is trying to keep their job so they can feed their newborn baby, the Bugster in turn will be driven to either destroy the victim's place of work or kill the baby, the reason why they're sticking to that job in the first place.) Only those who have undergone a risky surgery to become injected with a concentrated amount of the Bugster virus can harness the power of the Gashats (game cartridge like devices created by the Gemn corporation) and their Gamer drivers to combat the Bugsters as Kamen Riders.


    Our protagonist is named Emu Hojo, a medical intern and gaming genius who works for the CR branch of the Ministry of health. He uses the Gamer Driver and the Mighty action X Gashat to become Kamen Rider Ex-aid. It was later revealed he is actually patient Zero of the Bugster virus and thus doesn't need the compatibility surgery to use the Gashats.


    Next is the skilled Surgeon Hiiro Kagami who uses the Tattle Quest Gashat to become Kamen Rider Brave. Unlike Emu; Kagami doesn't actually care about the patients themselves, only eliminating the Bugsters due to his girlfriend being infected and killed by her Bugster Graphite fully manifesting by nearly killing him. Since then he's developed a cold personality and sees Emu's concern for patents as a hinderance, even going so far as fighting Emu since he thinks his sentimentality is unnecessary. Basically Kagami has a major rod up his ass that seriously needs to be pulled out asap.


    Then there's the unlicensed doctor Taiga Hanaya, who uses the Bang Bang Shooting Gashat to become Kamen Rider Snipe. Taiga's damage is that five years ago he was the original tester for the Gamer Driver, he failed to save Hiiro's girlfriend so now he's jaded, disgraced from the medical community and blah blah blah you know the drill. His original goal was to acquire the Gashats from all of the other riders but ever since he picked up his own sidekick, Nico the girl who Emu beat in a Tekken tournament 6 years ago he's mostly just been concerned with protecting her. She's mostly been a source of comic relief in how she keeps pestering Taiga and being his hype girl. I mean the two sometimes bicker like an old married couple and she serves the exact function that Robin does for Batman, balance the grim gritty crap with some general levity.


    Now there was a fourth CR rider, Kira Kujo aka Kamen Rider Lazer who was killed off at episode 13. Now unlike the other riders his Gakustuo bike Gashat made his default rider form; a motorcycle. It was only when he acquired his level 3 Gashat, Giri Giri Chambara could he assume a combat form that could actually compete with the other riders and Bugsters. Kujo's hang up was that he was a perpetual liar due to the last time he told the truth it was to a friend who contracted Gamer Syndrome so he killed himself since at that time there was no way to counter Gamer Syndrome.


    However there's another force manipulating the Bugsters for his own ends, the president of the Genm gaming corporation Dan Kuroda who created the Gamer Drivers and the games the Bugsters originate from. He even has his own Gamer Driver and later the Buggle Driver to become Kamen Rider Genm. Because just like almost every evil CEO in Japanese fiction he's batshit crazy; his ultimate goal is to gather data on both the Kamen Riders and the 10 Bugsters from the games the initial Gashats are based on to create what he sees as the Perfect Game, Kamen Rider Chronicle which turns every human on earth into Kamen Riders and fight to the death. Now to quote a certain veteran Power Ranger "Why can't you just want to rule the world like all the other sickos?"

    To this end he's infected Emu with the original Bugster virus 16 years ago turning him into an obsessed expert Gamer until he collapsed from exhaustion; at which point the virus was extracted and Emu then decided to become a doctor as a way of honoring the doctor who saved his life when he was first infected as a kid. Kuroda then set out to gather the data of defeated Bugsters and even data of his own death. Once that data was compiled into the Level X Dangerous Zombie Gashat he tested its new power on Kujo which was easily able to overpower him and kill him, not only to test Genm's invincibility but also to keep quiet the fact that Kuroda framed his own father, the former CEO of Genm Corp to cover the fact that he infected Emu with the Bugster Virus until it cultivated into its current form.


    So since he's using the Bugsters and can create new Gashats, of course he'd make one into a Kamen Rider. To that end he gave the Bugster Parado the duel Gashats of Perfect Puzzle and Knock out Fighter which lets him become the level 50 Kamen Rider Paradox. Parado himself seems to be concerned with two things, games and his fellow Bugsters, so when Kuroda finally snapped and admitted that the Bugsters are just pawns in his game and killed a non aggressive Bugster Parado attacked Kuroda and whooped his ass like a drum. Parado was also the one to finally kill Kuroda after Ex-aid used the powers of his Super form to not only remove Genm's invincibility but also his Bugster Antibodies so that he could never use the Gamer Driver again. But Parado still continued with the Kamen Rider Chronicle project using the saved Bugsters including Graphite and the brainwashed Poppy Pipopopo (aka the Doreimefa beat Bugster) to complete Kamen Rider Chronicle.


    Speaking of Poppy while yes she is a Bugster she's a game character that's non aggressive since the game she came from was a dancing game thus no enemies to defeat in the conventional sense. She can also switch from her bubbly J-pop to the max persona to that of a calm and collected Nurse. But as I said after Kuroda's death Parado's new second in command and new head of Genm corp Ren Amagasaki Aka the Lovrica Bugster brainwashed her to complete Kamen Rider Chronicle. Now that that's done they gave her the Tokimeki Crisis Gashat (the game that Lovrica came from thus maintaining the control) to become Kamen Rider Poppy.

    Now I know what you're thinking, "she's now a Kamen Rider oh god she's so dead" that's exactly what I thought as well but hear me out. As demonstrated with Graphite coming back to life fully evolved Bugsters are able to come back to life with outside help. So since we never saw the person who was infected with Poppy she must be perfectly evolved as well. Which brings us to another question "who was the person she killed to become whole?" But as demonstrated with the Bugster born from the Juju Burger game Bugsters born from non combative games can achieve their freedom from the infected by clearing the win conditions of their game.

    So since Poppy is not bound to anyone she is clearly a non violent Perfect Bugster so even if she does get killed she can just come back. Basically once a Bugster becomes free they gain infinite lives so she'll be in the clear. At least that's what I think will happen whether the writers will remember these facts when and if she does get killed we'll wait and see. But that's where we stand as of now Parado has sold Kamen Rider Chronicle to the masses who at first only saw it as just a new game but it's revealed that if you die in the game you die for real. But to keep the human genocide going Ren announced that if the final boss of Kamen Rider Chronicle was beaten all those who died in the game would come back to life

    So now it's only a matter of time until the Debut of Emu's final form and the debut of Kamen Rider Chronos. So this series has my attention and Kyuuranger can just go sit and spin, got it, good moving on. Next week we're going back to normal.

    Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
    My Cousin Vinny is owned by Johnathan Lynn and 20th Century Fox.
  11. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


    Yep boys, girls and everyone in between it's time for the spring break crossover special between the currently running Kamen Rider and Super Sentai series. Just like last year however this isn't really a crossover so much as a short fight scene cameo, also just like last year one of these series is slowly but surly getting better and is actually good while the other is worse then somebody stealing your wallet after telling you that someone close to you was eaten by an alligator. I'm just going to cut the pretense here and say that Ex-aid is the good series and Kyuuranger is absolutely horrible. I might as well get the anger out right now and talk about Kyuuranger first.

    The series takes place in the future in space where an intergalactic empire called Jark Mader (get it it sounds like Dark Matter, all consuming indiscriminate darkness? Well, I get it and appreciate it for what it is,) has already conquered the star systems which make up 77 of the 88 constellations and they only have a few more left to go before they completely conquer the Galaxy. The only force standing in Jark Mader's way is the Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger who harness the power of their native constellations using devices called Kyuu Tama to fight and liberate planets under the dominion of Jark Mader.

    While that all sounds good on paper this premise does have one teeny tiny little problem. THE RED RANGER IS A FUCKING MORON!!!! Hey do any of you remember last year when I said that Toei finally listened to their fans and we were apparently done with idiot Red Rangers? Oh we are staggeringly naive fools, how little we were prepared for this fresh slice of hell which no doubt brings us one step closer to the world of "ow my balls". No seriously folks if you thought Right from Toqger or Leftovers from Ninninger were bad allow me to introduce you to the latest moron to come off of Toei's idiot Red Ranger production line, Lucky.
    Better get used to that folks cause guess what he says every, single, fucking episode? GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

    From the very first time you see this guy you will despise his rotten guts and those who put up with him, as his name implies his main schtick is that he has super Luck powers, meaning that he always wins his fights without any effort, bulldozes his way to victory and of course he always screams out something with the word Lucky in it almost every single time he opens his goddamn face hole. He's an insensitive, idiotic, pigheaded, misguided piece of shit who only manages to survive due to his stupid, stupid luck to the point where I have given him the nickname of "DumbLuck" which worked so well that pretty much everyone in my click of Toku viewers have basically adopted that as Lucky's official nickname just like Leftovers became the nickname for Takaharu.

    The biggest problem with Dumbluck is that since Toei's of course going to over glorify his presence the rest of the cast is going to suffer in terms of their development since because Dumbluck exists any episode focused on their development will be superseded by him. Hell at this point I barely know anything about the rest of the main cast aside from their name and gimmick. Spada's gimmick is that he's a chef and randomly speaks one Italian word every so often in his sentences (even though they're all from space so they shouldn't even know what Italian is much less know how to speak it!) Next is Hammy the first official female Green Ranger, her schtick is that she's condescending to Dumbluck but since its though laughing at his stupidity it's actually encouraging it since he's too stupid to pick up on her ridiculing. The Black Ranger is a Bull Robot named Champ who likes to work out even though again he's a robot and thus has no muscles to develop with the exercise.

    Next is Garu, he's a wolfman who had his entire race slaughtered in battle by Jark Mader and thus had his spirit broken. That is until Dumbluck told him that he's stupid for giving up so easily! Hey asshole he just told you that his entire race was exterminated right in front of him and you basically tell him "oh get over it you big baby and fight back?!" Go jump in a hole full of poison tipped bamboo spikes you insensitive cumchugger! That was honestly even worse then what Wakka said after Home was destroyed in FF X.

    Next is the thieving pair of Naga and Balance. Naga's a Vulcan knock off and Balance is an asshole robot voiced by Josuke. Then there's Stinger and he's a live action Sasuke Uchiha who is a spy for the Rebellion but has killed lots of people to maintain his cover, including Champ's creator. But Dumbluck still wants him on the team just because he's a Kyuuranger. Even after Champ told you he killed his Creator/father and lethally poisoned the rest of your team all in the same episode!

    Do you all see why I hate this guy?! If not then here's my last piece of evidence with our last Kyuuranger, the gynoid Raptor. She's always wanted to be a hero, but it's revealed that if she is damaged, because her parts are so rare nobody can repair her and thus any damage she takes will be permanent and if she takes enough she'll die. So what does Dumbluck do? Tell her to ignore her safety and fight anyway despite the fact that she'll eventually die if she becomes a full Kyuuranger! So to sum up my feelings for Dumbluck I think that Joe Pesci said it better then anyone else.

    All this is made worse due to the fact that the designs for the suits, mechs and weapons are all really good.
    They were designed by Bandai of America and they did a really good job of making this Sentai team stand out from their contemporaries. They each still have a uniformed style but diverge in just the right ways. From Balance and Champ being the robots having more armoring on their suits to Garu's suit actually having fur in the colored segments and claws on the boots, Stinger's having; well a stinger to Raptor's suit having actual wings.
    The mechs themselves are also cool, with the Lion being the center while the others are interchangeable by the four ball joints which by my calculations means it could have up to 32 possible combinations, at least so far.

    But again if the main character makes me want to vomit in absolute disgust every time he does something stupid then I refuse to take part in this madness. As I said before aside from riffing on this every Sunday I will not be watching this in my free time. But I may finally start to make V-logs on this show since I will undoubtedly bring in the views since everybody loves to see someone else suffer. I mean you literally can't spell slaughter without laughter so yes you all will soon be getting your pounds of flesh. But I need to take a break from Dumbluck so I'll see you all next time as we talk about Ex-aid.

    Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
    Final Fantasy X is owned by Square-Enix and Yoshinori Kitase.
    My Cousin Vinny is owned by Johnathan Lynn and 20th Century Fox.
  12. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    Ceaser is pissed off at these sequels.

    Alright we've seen some notoriously bad sequels in the last list and there were some good things to say about them. For example I hated the gameplay of X6 but the music was still good, and Kingdom Hearts Recoded was much better as a movie then a game. But these next four, no quarter given, in my opinion these are some of the worst sequels I've seen and played.

    #4 Devil May Cry 2


    As I mentioned in my best sequels list I'm not a long time fan of the series and the only reasons I checked it out was because Dante and Lady were in Project X Zone, I fought Dante in SMT Nocturne, and the HD collection was on sale so I figured why not. The first game was ok but I was still wondering why everyone loved Dante so much. From what I saw it was decent but not as good as God of War which I've been a fan of since the first game. My opinion of the series didn't improve once I got to Devil May Cry 2. What little personality Dante had was just gone, there was no banter between him and the bosses and we got a secondary lead who was boring, had a clone backstory that went almost nowhere and the gameplay just took a giant dump.

    Thank whoever is up there for me giving Devil May Cry 3 a chance because when I finished the first fight in that game it all suddenly made complete sense. For me Devil May Cry was like the Original Evil Dead trilogy except Evil Dead 2 was far better then the first and Devil May Cry 2 sucked like a black hole. In both cases thankfully I made it to the third installment because now I know and am so waiting till I can finally get to Devil May Cry 4 and let's play that sucker. Though I do have more games on my to do list before I get to that, but rest assured I will play that game. Also for everyone who whined about DMC, I see where you're coming from but 1 it's an alternate universe and 2 trust me it's not the worst in the franchise that to me will always be Devil May Cry 2 until I see otherwise.

    #3 Assassins Creed 3


    I believe that with this one I barely have to explain myself but the might as well anyway. Assassins Creed 3 right after the conclusion to Ezio's story in Revelations gives us one of the most boring protagonists in the series, Conner Kenway. Even worse they teased us with the first two sequences instead having us play as Conner's far more interesting and entertaining father Haytham. Though admittedly the twist of him actually being a Templar was handled pretty well in my opinion and the fact that we have to kill the people that we've come to know (for the most part) kind of makes it more personal especially since unlike the previous groups of Templars Haytham's order do seem to care about protecting the Colonies. But their methodology is more then a tad questionable because we need to have our conflict somehow.

    Also back in the worst parts of these games AKA the modern segments we get a whole new dimension of annoyance with Desmond in the form of his fucking daddy issues.


    I'm not even kidding with that joke, just like in Evangelion Desmond shoves his daddy issues all over the place which are kind of small potatoes when you know THE END OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON DESMOND FINDING WHERE CONNOR HID THE KEY TO THE TENPLE SO THEY CAN SAVE THE WORLD! Though at least this was only early on and they did reconcile so it's not as bad as it could have been. Also the game at least killed Desmond off so we don't have to follow his boring chosen one ass for the rest of the franchise.

    At least we now just have Shawn and Rebecca to deal with, at least they both have something resembling personalities that we can get behind. Also Assassins Creed 3 still had the multiplayer which while still fun still had Micro transactions which is never fine for me in a $60 game. Though there was the Tyranny of King Washington DLC which had an incredibly goofy premise and cranked it up to 11 with it giving Conner super duper Native American super powers. Thankfully we had Assassins Creed 4 after this because if we had another boring romp with Conner I would have jumped ship long before the dual release of Unity and Rogue.

    #2 Banjo Kazooie Nuts and Bolts


    Do I even have to say anything?! You all know why this would eventually make the list I don't even need to go over it. But I have to at least fill in 2 paragraphs for these entries so here it goes. Everyone who grew up with an N64 at least heard about Banjo Kazooie and how they were fun colorful platform games. We were teased with a third game in at the end of Banjo Tooie but aside from some GBA spin offs there was nothing for years, especially after Rare was bought out by MICROSOFT! "Spit"

    But then we heard that there was going to be a brand new Banjo Kazooie game for the 360 we were over the moon. But then it was released and all our hope turned into despair faster then you can say "I was stupid, so damn stupid" and BAM Banjo Kazooie Nuts and bolts was unleashed onto the world. I of course never played it but you didn't even need to play it to know that you don't take a beloved platform game and turn it into a FUCKING BUILD YOUR OWN CAR RACER GAME!? That just doesn't make any sense from either a game design perspective or a brand loyalty perspective. Why in the wide wide world of sports would somebody think "hey we have this beloved platformer IP that people have been begging for a sequel to, let's make it into a goddamn Lego racing game that bitterly insults the fans and mechanics of the two games that made it so beloved!"

    I mean if this was its own IP people would never have had this big of a fan revolt that wouldn't be matched until the ending to Mass Effect 3. But nope Rare was owned by MICROSOFT "spit" and so owned by their new overlords they took the name of Banjo Kazooie and ran it over their Gummi Ship knock off monster truck. Thankfully the people who were really responsible for Banjo Kazooie being the success that it was broke away from; them, founded their own company and have created a brilliant looking spiritual successor Yooka-Layle which is on its way very, very soon. (Which I personally backed on Kickstarter and yes I will begin a Let's Play of that lovely little game as soon as I possibly can!) So in a way we can be a bit thankful to Nuts and Bolts because without this flaming turf we wouldn't have Yooka-Layle to look forward too. So thank you Nuts and Bolts, now never bother us again. Now before I get to #1 some dishonorable mentions.

    Assassins Creed Bloodlines.

    Shitty little PSP game that tries to explain some elements of how Altaïr hid the Apple of Eden on Cypress and was overall unnecessary and graphically repulsive. The only reason anyone would have to play this was to unlock weapons in Assassins Creed 2. Nothing else to say but OH UBISOFT!

    Final Fantasy X-2

    Takes place after an ok Final Fantasy story and takes two of of the characters plus a new characters and basically makes them into Angsty vapid and poorly written clones of Cutie Honey. While the combat and dresssphere system is interesting, the plot can get stupid and for those who want to 100% this game the monster collection mini game is one of the most tedious obsessive compulsive tasks I have ever seen. Those who have played this game on the PS3, 4 or Vita know exactly what I'm talking about.

    Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days.

    Aside from having one of the dumbest titles I've ever read for a video game, just like the other Kingdom Hearts DS game is just ok. The gameplay is better then Coded, it's story is actually relevant by showing Roxas' time with Organization 13, explaining why he left in the first place and showing how he and Axel became good buddies. And just like Coded this games events are cannon so it's unskippable and it's events have been made into a clip-show/ movie so you don't have to search Amazon for a copy, so no muss no fuss. But as bad as these previous entries was this is still nothing compared to what I consider the worst sequel I have ever encountered!

    #1 The Legend of Zelda, Phantom Hourglass.


    Each of the previous games have their own unique flavors of horrible. From Nuts and Bolt's betrayal of the classic games that made them a household name to Final Fantasy 13's misguided and horribly confused design, but nothing on this list pisses me off more then Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass. Just like Assassins Creed 3 PH comes right after my favorite Legend of Zelda game, Wind Walker which I loved even back when it first came out when everybody else was pissing and moaning about how "kiddy" it looked. When I learned about there being a continuation of that continuity (this was back before I learned how messed up the Zelda timeline was; btw at that point the only Zelda games I played and finished were OOT and Majora's Mask) I picked it up right away. Then a few hours later I put it down and never picked it up again to this day.

    That's right of all the bad games I've played I at the very least try to finish one play-through of it. Not so with Phantom Hourglass, this is one of the very few games that I just gave up on and never looked back on. That comes down to three things. First was the graphics, now I know that going from the GameCube to the DS I knew there would be some kind of a graphical downgrade but wow the graphics for this game were bad. Everyone looked like they were made of Legos and there was little to no expression on their faces aside from their default faces.

    Number 2, the controls were awful. Now when you have a directional pad on your portable console you would at first think that you would use it to move your character. But not in this pile of puke, no no you needed to move Link with the DS touchscreen and Stylus and making such a dramatic change to the controls especially for an established platformer did not win points with me. But that leads me to the biggest problem with Phantom Hourglass, THE TEMPLE OF THE OCEAN KING!!! Oh by the Emperors magnificent golden lazy boy did that place become my personal purgatory.

    See every time you defeat a boss you have to back to this place every single time, go through every single floor just to get to the new floor to progress in the story and I repeat you have to go through every single floor in this place every single time to progress through the game. It was when I realized that fact and found seemingly no way to mediate this problem I for the first time in my memory, gave up the game and never played it again. This game along with the horrid controls for Skyward Sword have basically caused me to give up on the Legend of Zelda franchise, a franchise that I was only a very casual fan of to begin with. So that is why Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass is the worst video game sequel I've ever encountered, it took a franchise that everyone said was a seminal classic and turned it into an overrated and overhyped mess. Does anyone else have their own sequel that's worse then this? Then leave it in the comments below and make your case. Now if you'll excuse me I have a good sequel to play to cleanse my palate of this horrible trip down memory lane.

    Devil May Cry is owned by Capcom and Hideki Kamiya.
    Assassins Creed 3 is owned by Ubisoft, Patrice Désilets, Jade Raymond and Corey May.
    Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts is owned by Microsoft Game Studios and Rare.
    The Legend of Zelda is owned by Nintendo & Shigeru Miyamoto
    Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is owned by 20th Century Fox
  13. When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


    For those who want to see what I think are the best video game sequels here you go. Now while this list mostly consists of sequels I haven't played I've heard more then enough horror stories surrounding them to draw a decent conclusion. You may be asking why you would be talking about bad Sequels that you haven't played acting like you know what you're talking about. One reason, I value my time and my money and like to avoid spending either on entertainment that isn't worth it. Besides sometimes you can just tell a sequel is going to shit the bed just by looking at it. So let's go down the list of lost time and investment shall we?

    #10 Final Fantasy XIII (All of them)


    Yes I'm cheating with these but the internet mostly agrees that Final Fantasy's time during the 7th console generation was nothing short of a monumental disaster. From the boring combat system, the nonsensical leveling, the criminally bad writing to the most unlikable protagonists we've ever seen in a Final Fantasy game it all just amounts to a horrible pretentious mess. Every game in the 13 line had their own problems from the first game being stuck to a giant hall way, 13-2 having a god modding Gary Stu villain on top of one of the worst time travel stories ever created. (Even considering Japan's apparently horrible track record with Time travel stories, for every Madoka Magica and Crono Trigger there's at least 20 Inuyashas and of course the infamous Endless 8 fiasco!) Lightning Returns even takes the message of FF 7, shits all over it and turns Lightning already one of the most unlikable and boring protagonists and turns her into a god damn robot. Supposedly removing all of her emotions and creating a loli version of her to cause chaos whose origins are horrible contradictory and; ugh the more I try to discuss Lumina the more my head starts to split from all the convoluted and contradicting information.

    Needless to say FF13 and its sequels seems to have almost killed my interest in the FF franchise which was pretty small to begin with. For the record I've only played 6, 8 (the worst i've actually played) 9 (aka the best one) 10, and some of 10-2. I just hope that Lighting and none of the characters from 13 ever make it into Kingdom Hearts 3. Whenever that'll come out which of course was delayed because Square for some horribly dumb reason pushed that game back to focus on shitting out these turds. So yes Final Fantasy XIII is to blame for Kingdom Hearts 3 being pushed back for so long, fuck you Lightning and the robot horse you rode in on!

    #9 Mass Effect 3


    Two words can describe every single thing wrong with Mass Effect 3, Electronic Arts. Once again the Unicron of the gaming industry has claimed another victim by getting rid of Mass Effects head writer, replacing him with a guy who hated Mass Effect with the passion of a million flaming hemorrhoids, let him take the franchise and flush it down the toilet by chucking your Shepards history out the window, retconning almost everyone and giving one of the absolute worst endings in recent history. On top of all that they slammed in Multiplayer and online passes to really piss everybody off. Also if you signed onto EA's servers you've most likely been hacked because their security is absolute flaming monkey poop.

    Now the reason this is so low on the list is that I was never into Mass Effect in the first place. I'm a Sony guy and since Mass Effect 1 didn't come out on the PS3 until the collection pack was released I never bothered to care. I mean I tried the Mass Effect 2 demo and was repelled almost immediately, from the intimidating character creation screen to the mountains of data logs dumped onto my lap with all these terms and events that I had no idea about it was just the absolute worst way to entice someone new into the franchise. It was like you were transferred to a new class and on your first day you were given a test that you had no prior knowledge about and the teacher hates your guts and couldn't give a shit whether you knew the material or not.

    Like "who the hell is Cerberus, why was I brought back to life, why did that bitch shoot that guy, why are robots after me, what is going on?!" Personal history with the franchise aside I do know a bad sequel when I hear it and when EA is involved you know it's going to suck something fierce. Now before you even ask, no I am not getting Mass Effect Andromeda because I refuse to give EA my money. All that's left is to paraphrase Spoony and say this "oh fuck you EA you killed Mass Effect fuck you!"

    #8 Sly 4 Thieves in Time


    As I said before I'm a big fan of Sly Cooper and I really was enjoying this Game, especially since it gave my PS Vita something to do aside from playing Persona 4 Golden and PS1 rpgs. That is until we got to the fourth level. The villain in that level was a robot called the Black Knight and we later find out the Knight was just a suit controlled by Bentley's girlfriend Penelope. Yep she betrayed Bentley, sold their time travel technology to Le Paradox the big bad for this game and was going on about how she and Bentley could have made a fortune in weapons development but figured that since Sly was holding Bentley's potential with his moral code she decides to help Le Paradox destroy the Cooper family line. Now considering everything that happened in Sly 3 this twist comes out of nowhere and feels like a slap in the face to Bentley and fans of his, that it just drags the whole game down with it.

    Personal issues aside there's another narrative problem, namely with some of the ancestors you play as. Aside from Bob and Tennessee Kidd the rest of the ancestors have techniques that they shouldn't know namely Rioichi, Sir Galith and Salim knows Tennessee's rail run and slide techniques and Gallith and Salim knowing Rioichi's ninja spire jump. The ancestors also know their own exclusive techniques which are never mentioned before in the Thevius Racoonus. I mean if the ninja spire jumps are used before Rioichi you think they'd be written before his time where he could have transcribed how to perform his dragon jump instead of something everyone in the Cooper family would have known and perfected before him?

    This game also has gameplay problems on top of everything else. I know most people have problems with the motion controls but you can just turn them off. But the developers clearly were trying to do something with the six axis function of the PS3 and Vita, so all that effort can just go out the window. But the biggest problem is the final boss fight. Now the Sly games have had varying degrees of success with their final bosses, the best being Dr M in my opinion. But Le Paradox, just some platforming and quick time events. Your final boss is a quick time event, that gets this spot on the list just for that. Now to wait until Sly 5 shows up and hopefully fixes this mess, you all know it's coming the secret ending makes it clear as crystal, so all that's left to do is wait and see.

    #7 Batman Arkham Knight


    The PC version was complete guano and that alone deserves a spot on this list. Though there are some other reasons on top of that, most people didn't like the Batmobile and the repetitive fights against the tank drones. The two main villains aren't as interesting as the true villain of Arkham Knight AKA Joker. Scarecrow just drones on and on about fear and what not and as for the titular Arkham Knight, anyone who knows anything about Batman can tell who it is from the first time he opens his mouth. Yep angsty boy himself Jason Todd, though this is one of those cases where they use him correctly, as a villain who stands as a living reminder of one of Batman's greatest failures instead of trying to make him an anti-hero who never shuts his mouth.

    His depiction here isn't as good as "Batman Under the Red Hood" but it's still good. Also the Season Pass and DLC was crap. Though thankfully the Riddler Challenges were nowhere near as taxing and numerous as Arkham City. As a conclusion to the Arkham trilogy it's passable but the PC version was simply unforgivable and it would be unprofessional of me to ignore such a horrible crime inflicted on 1 3rd of your paying customers. So WB can choke on the Jokers ashes as far as I care for the horrible butchering of the PC version of the conclusion to one of your biggest franchises.

    #6 Kingdom Hearts RE:Coded


    Sorry I know this is technically a spinoff but there are events in this game that are cannon to the whole franchise so yes it's a sequel as much as Kingdom Hearts 2 so it's on the list. Gameplay wise this is the weakest game in the franchise and also the ugliest looking. Though considering that the game involves removing bugs from the data in Jiminys journal I can't help but think that was part of the joke. We don't even play as Sora in this one just a data copy of him that eventually becomes his own being. The only saving grace for this is that they remastered all the relevant cutscenes and plot points of this game in the 2.5 collection as a 3 hour long movie so now people don't even have to go through the trouble of hunting down the old DS game on Amazon anymore. And really when the only redeeming feature of your game is not having to play it, you know it sucks.

    #5 Mega Man X6


    I know people would have expected X7 to take this spot but I can't since at least X7 experimented with the 2d to 3D gameplay. It didn't work and they hid the ability to play as fucking X behind the grinding busy work of rescuing Reploids in the Maverick stages. But guess where that mechanic was taken to its absolute worst degree? You guessed it X6, my spot for this list. Keiji Inafune clearly wrote and planed for the Mega Man X series to stop with X5 and holy crap does it show here. The plot is uninteresting, the maverick bosses are boring and unnecessary as if you take out High Max in any of the stages you can jump straight to Gate's stages. But since you have to get all of X's armor parts to make it through the bosses are still required to be beaten so why even give us the option to skip them? Also yes the Reploid rescue system is back and even worse since not only do some of them have upgrade components but there's the new Nightmare Virus that turns them into enemies if you take too long. Also if they turn bad they're gone for good and so is their potential upgrade, and since most of the ones that do have them are hidden in very hard to reach places and the Nightmare is more often then not very close once you see them, you're screwed.

    Not to mention every two stages or so Dynamo shows up to fight X and Zero if nothing else because Capcom didn't know what to do with the guy after X5 and they wanted to pad the game out. Speaking of reoccurring bad guys Sigma is easily the worst he's ever been in the series here. Now narratively I get why he's all broken and crazy here but still why did you include him here anyway? I mean in X5 it was very heavily hinted that he was working with some remaining figment of Dr Wily so why not go with that? Have Wily be the real mastermind as he pretended to be loyal to Gate, stab him in the back and and admit to using Gate and Sigma as part of some grand final world domination scheme as well as completing his revenge against Light by destroying X as well as Zero, himself a failed experiment in Wily's eyes?

    Maybe even have him play a part in Axl's story in X7 as maybe being the one who created Axl's copy chip and designed him based on Bass' designs? But no we get this poorly designed cash grab instead. X6 is my pick as the worst in the X series and that's my two cents on that. But we still have five more bad sequels to deal with people. Follow the link here to see what I consider to be the absolute worst video game sequels I've seen.

    Batman Arkham Knight is owned by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, Rocksteady Studios and DC Comics
    Final Fantasy 13 is owned by Square-Enix, Motomu Toriyama and Yoshinore Kitase.
    Kingdom Hearts is owned by Square Enix, Disney Interactive Studios, Tetsuya Nomura, and Shinji Hashimoto.
    Mass Effect 3 is owned by Bioware and Electronic Arts.
    Mega Man x 6 is owned by Capcom and Tokuro Fujiwada.
    Sly Cooper: Thieves in time is owned by Sony Computer Entertainment of America and Sanzaru games.
  14. Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    With this we finally come to our end of my Let's Play of Kingdom Hearts 3D for the PS4. As a remake of a 3Ds game for the PS4 the guys at Square did a fantastic job. The new Dream Eaters are well ok, nothing really "new" aside from the Tubguin Ace's finisher. And if you want to 100% this game, it's doable but it will take quite a bit of time to do it so be warned. But still this is a fantastic remake and I'm glad I got to share my time with it with all of you. So with that in mind I give this my rating of "Finish it!"

    Kingdom Hearts is owned by Square Enix, Disney Interactive Studios, Tetsuya Nomura, and Shinji Hashimoto.
  15. Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

    For those who forgot what I thought were my 10th to 6th most favored sequels here's the link. Now sit back, relax and let me tell you what I think are the best sequels I've played so far.

    #5 Bioshock 2

    NOW, before anyones says anything let me get this off my chest.

    This is not the best game in the series. Of the three games my personal favorite is Bioshock. It introduced me to Art Deco art design and the ideas of Objectivism some of which I agree with, It also gave us Andrew Ryan one of the more empathetic villains I've encountered. Bioshock Infinite is my second favorite, despite having what I feel to be the best story in the series the combat is somewhat weak due to the two weapon system and the random and mostly useless Gear system. However Bioshock 2 is in my opinion the most fun to play.

    For starters we get the chance to play as a Big Daddy which while it removes some of the horror felt in the first game we get to play as one of the most powerful creatures in Rapture. Now admit it at some point you wish you were on the giving end of that drill or rivet gun instead of the receiving end. The hacking is significantly improved and no longer takes you out of the setting and game by replacing the long pipe puzzles with a simple timing game which improves the gameplay flow and isn't distracting. When you purchase Plasmid upgrades there is a tangible difference in their capability as when you do they actually gain new effects and powers. The research camera is now a film camera instead of a photo camera which again improves the flow of gameplay by keeping the fight going while recording your enemies.

    There are more characters with original models, no longer needing to recycle Splicer models for characters like Tennenbaum. We have a villain that we can genuinely hate in Sophia Lamb and her organization; the Rapture family from the sympathetic Grace Holloway to the disgusting weasel Stanley Pool to the tragic Gil Alexander. On top of that Minerva's den; its single player DLC is one of the best pieces DLC I've ever played to the point where it's even better then the main game in certain respects. But there are some things that hold it back. In the original version it fell victim to the craze of tacked on Multiplayer which thankfully was removed in the Hd Collection. Unlike in the first game you can't go back to levels you've bested, once you get on that train that's it you you're required to search the level from tit to toe for Audio Diaries, tonics and Power to the people machines.

    The levels can also feel a bit too short, not really giving you a chance to explore and take in the surroundings and atmosphere. There's also no Survivor difficulty in this game which is annoying for me since I can only get a challenge from games like this when I go in hardcore. Also the final level is once again another easy breeze for competent players, even without the last Plasmid you can clean out all the Splicers and Alpha Series in Persephone just by sneezing on them. Also the spear gun is almost useless at least for me; I never upgraded that thing. Yet I can't hate this game, on a technical level Bioshock 2 is a good sequel.

    While Bioshock 2 is undoubtedly the weakest game in the franchise in terms of narrative I still consider it the most fun to play. I look at Bioshock and Bioshock 2 like how most people look at Alien and Aliens, the first is a ground breaking genre piece that has a wonderful, frightening atmosphere due to how little we know of what we're facing. While Bioshock 2 we know what it is, we know it can bleed and we know how we can kill it! To me Bioshock 2 is moving from horror to action with horror elements. Still fun for me, not the best but I don't care I'm too busy killing Splicers with my big ass drill and making too many Gurren Lagann references to care, especially when the Yuri Lowenthal Spider Splicers show up. "HEY SIMON FOUND YOUR DRILL!!!"

    #4 Devil May Cry 3

    Now we move on to sequels that everyone can agree is a marked improvement from what came before. But first my backstory for how I can across Devil May Cry. I saw the HD collection for PS3 on PSN for 5 bucks which is a fantastic deal so I got it thanks to my brief encounters with Dante in SMT Nocturne, Project X Zone and Viewtiful Joe Red Hot Rumble ( yes I played it shut up). I played the first game thought it was ok, kind of a gothic Japanese God of War. Then came Devil May Cry 2, I hated it, the gameplay was dumbed down, the lock on was horrible, what little personality Dante had in the first game was sucked out and was replaced with a boring female lead whose name I can't even be bothered to look up on Wikipedia. Who also came with a dull clone backstory and a fake sounding accent that when combined came off to me as less of a demon hunter then someone who should be trying to catch Moose and Squirrel for Fearless Leader.

    I honestly was starting to have buyers remorse. I thought; "why is it that people like Dante again? What was it that I wasn't seeing?" Then along came from the heavens, Devil May Cry 3 and then IT FUCKING CLICKED!! This was the Dante I was expecting, the snarky; ass kicking; pizza eating demon hunter with a badass sword, beautiful twin pistols and seeing the origin of the famous transformation; the Devil Trigger. On top of that the badass boss fights and new weapons were fun, hard to master and so, so rewarding once you've conquered them.

    Now in case you haven't guessed I'm a bit of a Power Rangers fan. So imagine my surprise when I found out that Dan Southworth AKA Eric AKA the Quantum Ranger from Power Rangers Time Force was Dante's brother Virgil? To me the relationships of the two sons of Sparta came across as Inuyasha and Sesshomaru only without all of the bullshit and they're both Half Demons. Now I want to see Sesshomaru and Virgil in a Deathbattle if anything to see that Bi-shi furry get his ass kicked by a real half-demon who's with me? WIZ, BOOMSTICK GET ON THAT SHIT!

    Though honestly every time Virgil talked I just couldn't separate Virgil from Eric, it was weird. Aside from that this game hooked me on Devil May Cry and I can't wait to get around to Devil May Cry 4 for PS4 and all of you will get to join me on my first ride. Maybe I'll also give DMC Devil May Cry a shot. I know everyone including Capcom hates that game but maybe I'll just rent it or something, it cannot honestly be worse then Devil May Cry 2. I mean we even have RJ from Jungle Fury as Virgil and you all know how much I liked him so what could go wrong?

    #3 Banjo Tooie

    This is the best game of my childhood. Ok either this or Donkey Kong 64

    Banjo Kazooie was one of my favorite games as a kid. The N64 was my jam and the games were so mind blowingly good I still can't believe it (ok not all of them I did play that Lightspeed Rescue and Rugrats board game thing, I got better.) Back on track Banjo-Tooie took one of my favorite games and cranked it up to 11! New moves, bigger locations, bigger challenges, great music and actual boss battles! We even get to play as Mumbo Jumbo and while he's not as maneuverable and versatile as the bear and bird he can do some freaky tiki room shit, like bringing a Giant Golden statue to life, make the ocean breathable and even bring dead Aliens back to life! Since Mumbo's taking a more active role we get to visit the Shaman Humba Wumba who shows up in every level with a brand new transformation, including a secret one for Kazooie which turns her into a dragon!

    Now to this day I still haven't gotten all of the Jiggies (cough Canary Mary cough cough) but I still love this game. It's only a shame what happened to this franchise due to Rare and Microsoft (which is one of the reasons I will never own a Xbox console). I'm just hoping that Yooka-Layle which is made by the people behind Banjo Kazooie which I backed during its original Kickstarter so you'd better believe there's going to be a Lets Play of that game as soon as I can get my claws on it! I mean they know that it has to be good or else everyone who's backed it will cry like an anime fan on prom night! Seriously whoever though that was a good idea for Mighty #9's marketing needs to be fired, out of a cannon, into a dumpster made of flaming racism!

    #2 Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door

    Long Story short second verse same as the last.

    But for more effort Paper Mario TTYD was one of my most favorite games for the Gamecube, right up there with Luigi's Mansion, Legend of Zelda Wind Waker, Super Mario Sunshine, Viewtiful Joe and Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness. Paper Mario TTYD gave us distinct locations, fun memorable characters and a main Villain that wasn't Bowser for the 200th time. When I say distinct locations I mean it, from a monochrome forest to a WWE esq fighting arena in the sky to even an homage to Murder on the Orient Express. My personal favorite level is the aforementioned Glitz Pit and my favorite companion is Vivian the former shadow siren turned ally. Unfortunately much like Banjo-Kazooie the Paper Mario series has seen better days.

    Super Paper Mario was ok though going back to the older platforming was a bit odd for me. Sticker Star was the straw that broke my back for me what with you having to go all the way back to get the thing stickers over and over again and I haven't even touched Color Splash since from what I've seen it's much of the same as Sticker Star. So here's hoping we get back to it's true RPG routes with EXP, companions and the whole nine years.

    Now before I tell you what I consider to be the best video game sequel I've played so far here's some honorable mentions.

    Persona 2 Eternal Punishment

    Now I seriously wanted to put a Persona game on the list but since one of my criteria is that it has to be a direct sequel that isn't part of an anthology so the only direct sequel to a Persona game Eternal Punishment gets the mention.

    Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

    One of the first Gamecube games I got along with Luigi's Mansion; Sonic Adventure 2 gave me my first look at Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow and their high speed gameplay. Along with Tales and Eggman's shooter mech levels and Knuckles and Rouge's treasure hunting segments gave the game great variety.

    Assassins Creed 4 Black Flag

    After enduring the dullness of Conner Kenway in Assassins Creed 3 we were rewarded with the swashbuckling tale of his Grandfather Edward in Black Flag. They wisely expanded the sailing mechanic that was stared in 3 and also did us all the favor of confirming the death Desmond in the modern day segments.

    Megaman X8

    X7 was my first Megaman X game (I know I'm surprised I became a Megaman X fan after that too) SO yes the improvements between 7 and 8 are undeniable. From the voice acting actually being good to the improved controls and well holy crap AXL can shoot rapid fire copy bullets instead of one at a time which would take 3 minutes to kill an enemy. This along with the great rock music that the X series is known for makes for a decent game in the X series. (Though we're still waiting for X9 Capcom!)

    Batman Arkham Knight

    Honestly I would have put this on the list proper for the creative way of including the Joker and finally giving us the Batmobile. But the horrible way the PC version was shat out by Warner Bros cannot be forgiven or forgotten. Though if you want to see this game on a proper list well, next time kiddies.

    Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker

    My personal favorite Zelda game of all even when it first came out and everybody hated it because it looked "too cartoony" and other such crap. I loved the sailing and breadth of atmosphere granted to me by sailing on the King of Red Lions. The designs of the characters were colorful, vibrant and they all popped. Though this did eventually introduce the Zelda Multiverse due to the different results of Ocarina of Time since this takes place in the universe that Adult Link left behind after sealing Gannondorf. So since it's technically not a direct sequel it doesn't make the list.

    BioShock Infinite

    Infinite does have a superior story to BioShock 2 and a completely different and intriguing setting in the city of Columbia. We also have one of the best dynamics between Booker and Elizabeth and get a pretty brilliant way of explaining the concept of the Multiverse to people (at least better then Mr Nobody but pretty much on par with Rick and Morty) However the two gun system is stupid and limiting and when we first saw Songbird most of us thought "OH god I can't WAIT to fight that thing" but we don't.

    But despite that the ending is still one of the best part of this game and nobody can deny that.

    Sly 2 Band of Thieves

    This was the game that set the Sly Cooper formula in stone. We got to play as Bentley and Murray as they demonstrated that they're on par with their best pal Sly as the three set out to steal back Clockwerk's body parts. (EW) Though it did tend to overstay its welcome at points such as the multiple levels with Rajan, The Contessa and Jean Bison. What Sly 2 introduced Sly 3 perfected.

    God of War 3

    YOU LIKE EPIC BOSS BATTLES? You're not getting out of that chair/couch/whatever until you deal with ALL of these boss battles, you slimy little Carbuncle! But before you do check out what I consider to be the best video game sequel ever.

    #1 Assassins Creed 2


    The first Assassins Creed was fine, the tasks you had to do were repetitive, the assassinations were nothing to write home about but it was perfectly serviceable. The ending did entice me to be hopeful for a sequel. But what I got was not what I expected, its in a word, beautiful. The wonderful setting of Renaissance Italy, the actually recognizable historical figures such as our main man Leonardo and the big bad Rodrigo Borgia. But the best of all is the properly Iconic protagonist Ezio Auditore Da Firenze. Going from the prideful snobbish dickhead Altaïr to the likable charismatic ladies man Ezio helps make this game for me.

    I mean which story would you be invested in? A guy fucked up too much and now we have to do Grandpa's dirty-work to get back in his good graces. Or a boy sees his father and brothers killed by a supposed family friend and becomes a man dedicated to not only avenge his family but also save the world from a power mad despot from getting his hands on an ancient artifact by attaining the highest power in the land? Yeah I thought so too. Not only that but we also get much more variety in gameplay, different and better weapons, costume customization, different and exciting missions, meaningful collectables and best of all, TWO HIDDEN BLADES! Do I need to tell you all why that's so cool?

    But it's not just Ezio who's likable and memorable in this game. There's the aforementioned Leonardo but we also get the modern day assassins Shawn (who can be a bit of a prick) and Rebecca the tech guru who whips up a much cooler looking and more comfortable looking Animus. Back in the Renaissance we have the mysterious La Volpe, the brazen Bartolomeo, the badass Valkyrie bitch Caterina Sforza and Ezio's mentor Uncle Mario. On that note yes I did laugh at the "IT'S A ME MARIO!" line. Though probably not because I thought it was funny but maybe because it was so stupid I couldn't help but laugh.

    Now I know this game isn't flawless. The climbing could be a bit wonky when it came to grabbing on to buildings. Two of the games sequences were held to DLC which I waited until I purchased both of before I finished the game the first time I played it. The money I got ultimately became worthless when I purchased everything in the game. But the biggest flaw was that to get every single weapon in the game you had to slog through Assassins Creed Bloodlines. But despite all of that Assassins Creed 2 to me personifies exactly what a good sequel should be. And if you want to find out for yourself The Ezio Trilogy is remastered for PS4 and Xbox 1 with all their long, pointless micro transaction laden Multiplayer parts all gone.

    So those are what I consider to be the best Video Game Sequels. Do you agree, disagree want to kill me for putting BioShock 2 over Infinite or Assassins Creed 2 over Black Flag? Then be sure to leave a comment down below. But next time however, a list I think that nobody will disagree with me. The top 10 worst Video Game sequels ever!

    Bioshock 2 is owned by Take2 interactive, 2K Marin, and 2K Australia.
    Devil May Cry is owned by Capcom and Hideki Kamiya.
    Banjo-Tooie is owned by Rareware, Nintendo and Microsoft.
    Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door is owned by Nintendo and Intelligence Systems.
    Assassins Creed 2 is owned by Ubisoft, Patrice Désilets, Jade Raymond and Corey May.