How To Deal With Toxic Fandoms – Stuff You Like Extra

I got an ask recently about dealing with hate for things you really enjoyed (like The Last Jedi, for example!) and I thought it’d make an interesting video topic.

Happy almost New Year, everyone! May your 2018 be as free of toxicity as it is possible to be.

About Sursum Ursa

Ursa presents Stuff You Like, where fangirls + analysis + awesome examples of media = good times for all.


  1. Thanks a bunch Sursum. This is just what I needed today.

  2. Thank you Sursum from talking about this topic. Problem with toxic part of any fandom is that those people are always unreasonable so you can’t really talk with them like you could normally do.

    • Of course you can but you need to be a troll (what we find out that Sursum was in the past). Shamefully over time people start associate trolling with the idiots instead people making fun from idiots. You don’t even know how many times I talk people making fun from themselves (in non-auto-ironic way) and convinced that they are “trolling”.

  3. Its nice advice Sursum, although I personally find it almost impossible to find anyone to happily discuss the stuff I like.
    And I probably always will.

  4. I have no idea when Star Wars became such a big fandom. Maybe it’s the rise of the Internet but when I was young I could not find another Star Wars fan for the life of me! It was one of the many reasons people hated me as a kid. Anyways, I’m going to miss your videos once Net Neutrality kicks in.

    • Depends on how old you are. The original run of Star Wars was HUGE; They had kids going 4 times to see the movies and toys were everywhere. The Special Editions brought back the toys and the hype, while the prequels acted as a great divider. If you happened to be a kid during the dry years or post prequels, it would alter your experience. It also depends on how you describe a “fan”: Is a fan a person who enjoyed the movies, owns them and perhaps has a poster or a Lego set at home? Or is a fan someone who writes fan fic, dresses up in costumes and know every inch of trivia ever? I was a small kid during the dry years and there were plenty of first definition fans around; I was 12 when the Special Editions came out, and that had all sorts hyped. The internet just connects fans and gives them a voice, for better or worse.

      • I’m 41, I saw Return of the Jedi at the cinema as a kid. I have NEVER MET another Star Wars “Fan” never mind been friends with one!
        My Dad really liked Star Wars too but a “Fan” he has never been {of anything other than Wolverhampton Wanderers :)}.

        I have had Friends who vehemently HATED Star Wars {the original trilogy not just the prequels or Disney movies!} – My Brother can’t stand Star Wars!

        A number of those Friends have been Star TREK “Fans” {I’ve never understood the vehement hatred some Trekkies have for Star Wars myself!}.

        Star Wars “Fandom” is massively overstated – The General Public, the vast majority of people who watch Star Wars are not now nor ever will be “Fans”!

        • I give you my condolences. I never meat people hating Star Wars, and generally even if I didn’t meat many hardcore fans I know many people who at least like it (maybe there is something wrong with your definition?).

          As for war between Trekkies and Starwarsians.. it is ridiculous. I sort of know why it was a thing in 80’ties or 90’ties as those were two competing visions of the genre in television, and generally at that time it was hard for high quality Space Operas and people fear that one style dominate over another. But anyone who bring that nowadays is a straight imbecile (fact that two acclaimed trilogies of both series were made by one dude speak for itself). Don’t listen whiny crybabies here.. they are in fact a minorities.

          • (maybe there is something wrong with your definition?).

            You realise just liking something does not make you a “fan” of that thing right?

            The majority of people like Star Wars yes but saying every person who watched each Star Wars Movie once or twice over the past 40 years is a “fan” is just foolish.

            In fact it would be nigh on impossible I am sure to find an actual “Fan” who even likes all 9 main movies {not counting the two Ewok Movies or the Christmas Special}.

  5. Star Wars: the Fandom Menace.

    Sorry. Had to do that.

  6. Steven Universe is the single most disgusting piece of shit fandom on the Internet. The majority of them are so disgusting that you can’t argue that “not all because it’s enough. It’s th majority. Like feminism and how it’s full of mostly disgusting, hateful women and rapist men now it looks like from all the cases we’ve been hearing coming out of Vice, politicians, and more MSM.

    • They say this same about Bronies and Undertell.. at least for a time. The thing is that most of that is migrating self-trolling and teen edgelords. They basically search places where is easy provoke people and piss normal fans. You should know “do not feed troll” rule here. Simply ignore toxic people like Sursum said. They will walk away. Only unusual element of Steven Universe is clever LGBT theme, but the misogyny anti-SJW and misandry feminazis war is basically own thing. They piss people on new Ghostbusters and do that also here. But in end those rule apply.. “do not feed troll”.

    • I suppose that’s good advice generally, but the most toxic fandom I’ve ever dealt with is for something I actively hate. And they wouldn’t stay in their own corner. They had to invade everywhere else because theirs was objectively the best and everything else was varying degrees of inferior relative to how closely it aligned to their own thing.

      It was ASIoF, in case anyone was wondering. This was years before their show. They had an especial hate for Harry Potter because Martin threw a temper tantrum online about Rowling taking “my Hugo” over his third book, which is the single worst novel I’ve ever read, so why he was even nominated escapes me. Or my own favorite series, Wheel of Time, they derided as “fairy tales” because it wasn’t “realistic” like their story involving dragons, zombies, and 700 foot tall ice walls, since death wasn’t final. And yes, this is again after the third book. The one where somebody comes back from the dead.

  7. “We need to not be part of the problem.”
    Excellent point. Throughout the video I was wondering if the irrational anger of the writer was an indication that they were the toxic element. Piling hate could refer to valid criticism of the the thing they like.

    We all like to see ourselves as the hero in our own narrative and defense of the thing is a noble pursuit. I think toxicity in fandoms arise when they want to defend the thing, but different groups within the fandom focus on different aspects of the thing. The larger the fandom the more scrutiny of aspect there is. Until even a celebration of the thing is perceived as an attack because they aren’t celebrating it the right way.

    In this example the hate could just be another fan saying what they liked about the franchise and how this is an outlier in regard to that.

  8. The Real Silverstar

    “Stay away from places that make you angry”.

    This is excellent advice. It’s precisely why I got off of Toon Zone about 3 years ago. The atmosphere there had become EXTREMELY toxic; it had gotten to the point where I was spending more time arguing with and schooling haters, freaks, weirdos annoyingly obsessed and miserable fans and assorted asshole moderators who played favorites more than bad biased schoolteachers than actually discussing one of my favorite subjects (animation) and the cartoons I love.

    We all know about that Devil’s Advocate guy here, right? Now, imagine an entire message board full of people like him, and you have some idea what Toon Zone is like.

    TZ was just making me angry, miserable and insane so I had to put distance between myself and that place. Presently I’m not on any message boards at all; right now I just blog and occasionally post comments on videos like this one. Thankfully WordPress allows comment moderation, so I don’t have to waste time arguing with toxic people over stupid crap. When I start making videos, I’ll likely just do what Jill does and disable YouTube comments, ’cause I simply lack the patience to put up with comments and mentalities like that.

    I’d much rather laugh and smile than argue. I prefer to geek out over the things I like instead of carping, whining, bitching and moaning about the things I don’t like.

  9. I’ll never understand why people complain about a fan site or a fan forum but will continue to go there every day. I stopped watching The Simpsons, South Park and Family Guy the moment that watching those shows stopped being fun, and the hardcore fans of these shows will remain hardcore fans who won’t tolerate anything short of blind, glowing praise of their favorite show. There’s no point in trying to debate or offer a differing opinion to these people; they say A and you say B and then you try to compromise and suggest C, D or even E, but the discussion still goes nowhere because the other person is still saying A. It’s best to just leave them to their blind fandom, as that’s what they seem to enjoy. To quote Mr. Spock, “To expect sense from beings with such an extreme point of view is no logical”.

    YouTube’s comment section is the absolute worst. For every smart viewer, there are at least 20 dumb ones. For every polite, rational thinking person, there are about 30 irrational people, spammers and trolls. About 80% of YT’s comment section is from people who’s posts scream “I’m 14 and unsupervised!” or “I’m going to say something banana balls crazy or be as rude, sexist, racist and offensive as humanly possible because it’s the internet and there are no repercussions!” Whenever I would post a comment on YouTube, I would inevitably cross paths some idiot or racist asshole or internet tough guy who’d want to kill an afternoon by attempting to bust my chops. I didn’t enjoy these toxic back and forth exchange of insults, so I stopped commenting on YT videos, but some people will just keep posting and posting and complain about how nervous, sad or angry this place makes day after day, week after week. I don’t get this mentality at all. Don’t go to that site/forum is you don’t like it there. It’s not drugs, it’s pretty easy to quit.

    • That quote should be “not logical”. I wish I could edit here.

      • At least it isn’t a secret that most people commenting on You Tube are kids, and generally that is jus a addition to this service. But generally we should stay far from forum where there is no one rational to talk.. I personally moved from Transformers forum to Gundam when administrator himself start calling my “fag” for liking MLP. That is beyond stupid.

  10. Want an awesome webcomic and wonderfull fandom to go with it? go read “Paranatural” and join the subreddit! It’s hard to believe, but that fandom is just as the comic – really smart, funny and friendly.

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