Infomercialism: Your Ultimate Chopper Recipes

You gave Mike some recipes to use in the Ultimate Chopper, so here they are! Enjoy!

About mikej

Movie review shows from Mike Jeavons, a British Person, including "Shameful Sequels" & "Hang on a Second", along with music videos and sketches.

35 comments

  1. Why not try black & pudding, sausage, bacon, beans and egg. Breakfast roll paste. With a roll of course! =D

  2. I think you have to add salt to make butter. Also, try making hummus:

    Canned chick peas
    Peanut butter
    Olive oil
    Lemon juice

  3. I suggest not watching this video if you are hungry.

  4. The butter can be made saltless, but it is a nice addition. the liquid will always be there. You are literally smashing the globules of fat together and wringing out the liquid, separating them. You can get the same result shaking heavy/double cream in a mason jar for 15 minutes, assuming your arms don’t fall off. I have done it.

    I don’t know how it tastes but that looked like old fashioned butter to me. Without the salt it will not taste like much except….cream, as you said.

  5. Hoping to see some of my recipes. Curious if any of them turn up well?

  6. Hacks! I call hacks! Also yes, technically I think that was butter. Also if you want something a bit more than just baby food you should have used some of my recipes. I will repost them here:

    “I will take your challenge with making a meal using only the ultimate crap grinder!

    A question: Would having hot ingredients disqualify me? such as potatoes already boiled or precooked pasta? If not then:

    Because I could not find a way to contact you via email in less than 2 minutes I shall post said recipes here. Also I have never actually practiced theses myself or used the chopper myself. To make you feel slightly rest assured I am not without culinary experience. Please note that I am an American fan, so some of the items may not be as available to you as they are me. Without further stalling, except for that, this and what proceeds it, here are the recipes.

    Thai inspired pasta salad
    equal parts mint, cilantro, basil (quarter cup all together)
    1/4 cup saracha sauce
    1/4 cup honey
    1 tbs sesame seed oil
    tbs of soy sauce

    put herbs in first and give a few pules
    then add the liquid ingredients pulse until well mixed

    spread sauce over noodles and mix well

    sprinkle sesame seeds on top and I hope you like spicy food

    Mashed potatoes

    1 boiled potato (still hot, have fun chopping that)(keep them as hot as possible without altering their texture until used in chopper)(chopped into cubes)(if using red or other similar sized feel free to add more than one if necessary)
    sour cream, room temp: 3 tbsp
    roasted garlic (still hot): 6 pieces
    rosemary 1 tbs
    2 tsp salt
    1/2 tsp pepper
    1/4 tsp white vinegar

    start with rosemary and roasted garlic and a bit of salt (if there is any oil left from roasted garlic, go ahead and put that in there, unless its a copious amount)

    then add the potatoes, chop for only 1 or 2 pulses

    add in sour cream, rest of salt, pepper and vinegar

    pulse until mixed

    Hope to god its hot and enjoy

    coconut rice pudding

    1 cup cooked rice
    quarter cup coconut milk
    1/8 tsp salt
    3 tbs honey
    1 tsp cinnamon

    Add all ingredients in at once except for the coconut milk

    pulse until well incorporated

    add in coconut milk a little at a time until it is mixed in well

    enjoy

    salsa
    cilantro 2 sprigs leafs only
    quarter of red onion (peeled, chopped, yadda yadda yadda, you know)
    3 tomatoes (deseeded)
    1 jalapeno also deseeded
    1/2 tsp cinnamon
    2 tsp salt

    Throw all that crap in there and chop until desired texture.

    sweet assassin vinaigrette (assassin was supposed to be Asian but I missed spelled it and spell check showed assassin and I thought that sounded hilarious)

    1/4 cup canned mandarin oranges (sans the syrup in the can)
    quarter cup rice vinegar,
    tbsp mustard
    quarter cup honey,
    1/2 peanut oil

    add all ingredients except oil and pulse a few times

    add a table spoon of the oil in then pulse and repeat until all oil is mixed in

    Take out and place into another container and clean the chopper

    Salad
    daikon (about half a cup, more or less to your liking)
    small bag shredded carrots
    small bag shredded cabbage

    shred daikon about 1 pulse
    Mix shredded carrot, cabbage and the daikon together. It should be about 20% carrot, 20% daikon and the rest cabbage (you can adjust the amount to your liking)

    then mix in the dressing into the salad mixture well (by hand)

    put sliced almonds and oranges on top

    enjoy

    Alternative choice to desert

    a cup of ricotta
    quarter cup of milk
    half a cup of strawberries, raspberries or blue berries

    chop berries with ricotta

    add milk little at a time and chop until well mixed

    spread on a slice of pound cake, then sprinkle powder sugar on top (a light amount) (the texture is spreadable right?)”

  7. Put chocolate gram crackers and grind them to a sand consistency. add melted butter and form into a pie pan.

    Bake 10-15 min.

    take peanut butter and powdered sugar pulse until smooth. Pore peanut butter mixture into pie shell.

    Bake another 20-30 min.

    pore look-warm cream over dark chocolate in the machine. pulse till combined.

    Poor chocolate gnash over pie.

    refrigerate till gnash is set 1-2 hours.

    Is that baby food?

  8. Well a food processor is really only capable of making processed food, in other words baby food or soup.

    Butter requires a bit of skill/experience to make, and you were getting close to finishing it, but it really is just constantly beating the cream until the milk fat separates from the liquid and clumps up, eventually becoming butter, you do have to drain off the liquid but the end product is pretty amazing even on just plain bread. (that’s assuming your bread isn’t complete garbage on it’s own)

    But anything that isn’t peanut butter or is supposed to be a soup will require some precooked ingredients.

    You could probably make a tomato sauce in it at least, let’s say:
    3/4’s a cup of canned tomatoes (Or 3 roma tomatoes quartered, would be better if you like fire roasted/grilled the outside a bit to get some flavor, like roasted red peppers)
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 teaspoon pepper
    1 clove of garlic
    2 leaves of basil or 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
    1/2 teaspoon dried oregano.

    blend it until blended, heat in the microwave and serve over noodles.

    No way to cook the noodle in the thing though, unless you wanted to combine this with the dump dinner and add a like… maybe 1/8 to 1/6th pound of noodle then cover with sauce and bake, throw some of that minced steak and “grated” parmesan in there as well.

    Only problem is the kid sized portions, but hey, if you use the ultimate chopper as portion control you could probably lose more weight like one of your fad diet series. (diet hopping is pretty dangerous so I’m not encouraging you to do a bunch of different diets)

    Anyways keep it up! I like the infomercialism series as it’s interesting to see the things in action in the “real world.” (I do wish you would not try to fail on purpose and put a little more “common sense” into the products, but I suppose following the “infomercial” is kinda funny.)

  9. seems to me that the best thing to make with this would be a quiche as 90 % of the prep is chopping.

    First you shred about 2 cups of potato ( or use hashbrown shreds) crisp them up in a pan with some oil and then mix with about 1/2 cup of sour cream and press into the bottom of a bought pie crust. on top of this sprinkle half a can of whole kernal corn

    finely chop about 2 1/2 cups of baccon/mushrooms/green bell pepper/onion/ham/green onion or any other combination of meat and vegs that you like and have on hand. it’s great for clearing up left overs. saute this mix over med heat until things are cooked put this mix in the pie crust which shoudl be mostly full now.

    whisk 3 eggs with 3/4 cup of milk or cream and slowly pour over evertyhing in the pie shell top with 1/4 of shreded cheese of choice and bake at 350F for 30-35 min until firm in center and crust is golden brown.

    really tasty even left over and very filling. goes great with a salad…though probably not the mush salad you made with the unlitmate chopper

  10. Instant porridge is supposed to cook faster, Mike. Hence being called instant porridge.

    The way you use it is that you just pour hot (nearly boiling) water into it, like instant potatoes.

  11. In 3rd grade, we learned about how the pioneers lived. And during that time, we made butter once. We all took turns shaking a mason jar full of cream. The teacher drained the buttermilk out of it at one point. She was swedish and made swedish cookies to put the butter on. My Grandma that volunteered in the class brought cooked venison to try.

  12. Nuttella? Gross. I’ll never understand why anyone would ruin perfectly good chocolate by mixing hazelnuts in it.

    Now the Skippy dark chocolate peanut butter is yummy.

    And bacon – BLECH!

    The ravioli soup looks a bit like tomato bisque.

    There’s a dip I sometimes make. I use one of those Nutri-bullets to make it. But I’d rather use a blender.

    One can of black beans – rinsed and drained.

    Garlic salt – I use the Lowery’s kind that has dried parsley in it.

    Extra virgin cold pressed olive oil.

    Onion powder.

    Oil packed sundried tomatoes.

    Dried basil.

    A little filtered water.

    I don’t measure things out. I just put it all in there and blend until it’s about the same consistency as humus.

  13. Wow, I thought the steak would break the motor for sure.

    That’s bacon? I was trying to figure out if it was corned beef or dried rose petals. XD

    This is like a spinoff of “Will it Blend?” Which I imagine is only marginally as dangerous as “Is It A Good Idea To Microwave This?”

    When you make butter, you’re going to get a lot of buttermilk runoff. You’d also need some salt.

    How fine will it ground coffee?

  14. Mike, please, do a cooking show with ideas from your subscribers. That would be awesome! And as I didn’t knew we could make Nutella like that, I’m gonna try it with oil instead of cream in my normal chopper and see what it does.

  15. USE A TOWEL OR OVEN MITTS WHEN TOUCHING STUFF RIGHT OUT OF THE OVEN/MICROWAVE. Seriously, Mike, I have stopped counting how many times I yelled that at the screen when watching your food-related videos. Grace should give you a wet-kitchen-towel slap every time you burn your fingers until you learn that. You’d think the pain from burnt fingers would be enough, but no.
    And you don’t need the ultimate chopper to make butter from cream. I did that by accident with a hand mixer two decades ago. And that liquid is whey. Very nutritious.

    • the liquid left over was buttermilk. whey is left over from curdling and straining milk , completely different from churning cream.

      • I fell for the oldest mistake possible. It’s even called “Buttermilch” in German, but I thought “buttermilk” was too easy to be correct, so I looked around for another word. Kinda like when back in the day my brother’s English teacher had them translate “Feuerwerk” without teaching them the english word before. Their answers were allover the place, from “pyrotechnics” to “stuff-makes-boom”, because they thought you couldn’t translate it into something as simple as “fireworks”. Buttermilk and whey both taste pretty good, though.

  16. I like to make fresh salsa with mine, and the recipe is pretty much to taste and how you like the texture.
    You will need: Tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, cilantro, salt, vinegar, sugar, and I like to throw a little tequila for some added flavor. All the veggies have to be fresh not caned. I like chunky salsa so I dice them in the food processor, remove and mince everything else together. Or you can just puree everything if you like runny salsa. You just need a little vinegar so don’t over do it. You can also make other types of salsa like mango or more fruit based using the same technique.

  17. MIKE USED ONE OF MY NUTELLA SUGGESTIONS <3333 Sorry, fangirl moment.

  18. as someone who makes butter often, I can tell you you did make butter although you over churned it a bit and you’re supposed to strain it through cheesecloth before finally forming and refrigerating it. pure butter doesn’t have much of a taste if you don’t add cultures or salt. also the liquid that was left over was buttermilk, which, if you didn’t add cultures is essentially just milk

  19. I have no suggestion but this was enjoyable. 🙂

  20. Nice video, Mike. You used that chopper like a Boss!

  21. Heh. How about a fruit smoothie?

    Throw some frozen strawberries, a banana, and some frozen apple juice into the thing and wait until it liquefies, then pour it into a glass and enjoy.

    Or…

    To wipe away the memories of the ultimate chopper from your mind combine one part frozen strawberries, two parts rum, one part triple Sec, a dash of lime juice, some ice cubes, and two tears. Blend and drink as many as you can.

  22. You’re my hero, Mike.

  23. come to think of it i wonder if you could make ketchup with this thing. thats got to be worth a shot. seems like it would be pretty easy to make relish as well.

  24. Awww, I was looking forward to grated Pictionary

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