Jem and the Holograms & Rock the Kasbah – Midnight Screenings

Brad and Brian see Jem and the Holograms, plus the Bill Murray movie Rock the Kasbah.

Brad and Brian see the loosest of adaptations of Jem and the Holograms.

Brad tells Brian about the critics worst reviewed movie of the week.

About thecinemasnob

Brad Jones portrays The Cinema Snob, a pretentious film snob who is stuck with reviewing Z-Grade exploitation flicks of the past. I'm a big guy. For you.

23 comments

  1. apparently ,the Misfist are in it until the end as a cameo. with keshia.

    • Just hope ,they do a sequel becasue a scene with the actual misfits would been funny to see but will not because this movie is not going to have one. it was hinted with the misfits cameo.

  2. RE: Brad’s favorite comment: XD That was my comment! Brad read my comment! *swoon*

    …I admit I was disappointed by Brad and Doug’s review of The Passion. It was not because I liked the movie (I didn’t), but their mockery seemed contrived. That is, hardly any of the movie’s actual content was criticized – the reviewer’s effectively made their own version of the movie to joke about. Hence my comment that the movie ‘can’t be as bad as all that’ and the confusion as to why they’d choose to review the movie at all if it offers little in the way of material.

    I couldn’t tell if the Passion review was lazy or overreaching. That’s all. ^_^

    As for Jem… I remember liking (one of) the Misfits song(s) when I was a kid. That about sums up my experience with the series. I’ve no interest in seeing its movie.
    The only movie I sorta-kinda want to see is The Peanuts Movie, chiefly from morbid curiosity. Most any time Hollywood attempts to reenact/reimagine something timeless, they end up putting an expiration date on it (in addition to dumbing it down). I want to see how they screw this one up (or pleasantly surprise me).

    • I feel the same as you because (and I’m using Diamanda’s review as a reference) they seemed more to be doing a parody and Riff-Trax/MST3K episode than a review of a bad movie. Yeah, that does seem to fit in with the Snob’s style compared to Brad doing DVD-R Hell where legitimate flaws are scrutinized vs ironic jabs at the poor/questionable quality of the film. In short, Hagan did it better. :-\

  3. I still may see Jem and the Holograms so I cut video off pretty early. I only saw a re-run of Jem once and so I don’t have strong ties to it. I like the aesthetic of Jem though and that is usually all that matters. I’ll come back to this review if I get around to seeing this movie. LOL. Well, I remember there WAS a robot in the show so that’s an accurate point in the movie. Oh, I kind of like the idea of a PG internet… okay, a PG-13 internet. That is kind of charming.

    I was curious about what you’d say about Rock the Kasbah. Worst than Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension? Perhaps. But at least Jem and the Holograms seems to have more visuals than Rock the Kasbah.

    • happymel

      Oh, God, No! Don’t go see this movie!!!!! It pisses all over everything that the show was about; The aesthetic, the story, the fun, the music. Christy Marx was given a near free rein to develop the show and she made it her baby; There is so much of Christy’s soul in the show and NOTHING of the world that she built is in this garbage heap.

      That little robot is utterly opposite to what Synergy was in the show: TV Synergy was the very core of the science fiction angle with her holograms and was a pseudo-mother figure to the girls; Appropriate, since her design, voice and personality, was based off of the girls’ MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The dead mother who created Starlight House, brought in the foster girls who became sisters, and was the one who made their home a musical one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

      EXPLETIVE THIS EXPLETIVE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      PLEASE BUY THE COMIC! IT IS WHAT A REBOOT SHOULD BE! It shows a knowledge of, and has utter love for, the original while bringing a fresh vision to the modern take.

      A new one is released every month; There are many different and creative covers for each issues; There is an annual that has been released that ties into the series: You can buy them at comic shops, online, and the trade with the first 6 issues can be bought from bookstores.

    • There was no robot in the show… Unless you count the episode “Culture Clash” where the Misfit, Roxy, pops up dressed as one in their music video “Surprise, Surprise,” and the mobile sculptures of the conceptual artist of that episode, whom which Jem & the Holograms openly admitted of dreading to work with. And another Misfits video “Gimme a Gimmick,” where there’s a mechanical bust of Pizzazz and its face falls off. Only time of robots.

      Synergy herself is a holographic projection of an a.i. super-computer remotely linked to Jerrica/Jem’s earrings, modeled with the likeness of her mother, since Synergy was created by her father.

      This movie is Jem & the Holograms in name, only. You could give Aubrey Peebles the name of Chloe, and the others Yasmin, Jade, and Sasha and called this a Bratz remake. The script would be exactly the same. Like Jillian ranted about the trailer: You could have called this movie anything else, and it would have been a generic rise-to-fame story.

  4. I hope Jem bombs so hard it actually goes down in history.

    • I’m with you.

      I don’t even consider myself a fan of Jem. I did not realize how pissed off I could get over something I wasn’t attached to. But this is just so badly done. And all the trailers seem so damn boring. I wasn’t attached to it, but when I did watch the TV show, the soapy ridiculousness and scifi elements kept my attention. And I loved Stormer. This just seems like a boring coming of age story dealing with things in a way that reminds me of my least favorite aspect of the Jem show: Starlight House/young orphans.

      Sigh. It could have been a wonderful nostalgia bomb. It didn’t have to be good, just over the top funny. Damn it, they even, so far as I could tell from the trailer, put it under the boring filter to make it washed out. They just really don’t get Jem.

      But the new IDW comic that I heard about because of the Jem relaunch and picked up because it looked like it might actually be good and the whole idea had made me nostalgic? Yeah, that’s worth reading. It’s not exactly the same, but at least it has the spirit right.

      • Oh man, that brings me back to another Jillian rant about the Jem movie trailer! She said that it should have been a Michael Bay flick, with all the over-the-top explosions and action.

        And you know what! I think that would have been a better outcome! But naw, that all has to go to the TMNT sequel… *sigh*

        Oh well, I get to see better fan-made content of Jem on Youtube, and even the badly done JIZ is better done adaptation.

    • LaserBunny

      Over 2000 theatres with only $1.3 million in ticket sales is a good start towards failure. The bad part is the movie’s budget was $5 million so they may consider it, by the end, not a flop.

      The sad part is that Kota Wade’s live-action audition video ( Go watch it on YouTube) shows that you don’t need a big budget to make something fantastic and enjoyable!

  5. Yeah, I didn’t like what was going on with the production of John Chu’s Jerrica Beiber story, as more and more of their announcements on YouTube & Twitter went on. They falsely gave fans of the show the idea that they could be casted, along with fashion design and story ideas, to be integrated, and were encouraged to post their “auditions” online with #fame. All the while, they had already casted their actors and had their script done. Only after the fan videos were publicized, the cast was announced. It was a skeevy tactic to garner publicity and hype for that hashtag, and it worked.

    Hey you know what’s a BETTER adaptation of Jem? Equestria Girls 2: Rainbow Rocks. Well based on what could have been, from Christy Marx’s proposed idea for a fully-animated Jem movie back in the late 80’s. According to her, an in-movie-only duo called The Mongrels, show up and stage a Battle of the Bands, with a world-wide broadcast, in order to brainwash and enslave their audience with their super synth, Entropy. The Misfits team up with Jem & the Holograms, only to be taken out during the shodown, including Jem herself. Synergy then emerges, and has a massive laser battle with Entropy. However, it wasn’t clarified if whether or not Synergy’s main computer body was there, because that machine was physically capable of shooting physical lasers (which, that feature was only shown ONCE in the show’s entirety); Physical lasers can’t shoot out from the holographic projections of Jem’s earrings.

    Man, I’d love to rewatch M.A.S.K. They had a rockin theme song, too!

    • I’ve been about as pissed about this as countless other, so I don’t want to dwell too long on points that have already been made. BUT oh there is so much else that could be said so I’m trying to restraint myself.

      On top of all the other insulting changes, this video reveals one more. Jerrica and Kimber’s father was close to both of them and Kimber the younger sister came across on several occasions as CLOSER to her late father. That’s because the mother died when she was much younger so she probably didn’t remember her as well as the older sister who basically had to become the family matriarch as a teenager. Meanwhile Kimber was the one being trained by her father to be a singer like their mother only for him to unexpected pass away before that could happen. He was portrayed as her closest mentor in the show, but her he just mention her in passing in a video will made for the older sister! What a slap in the face!

      Oddly enough I would have minded the whole business of someone being manipulated into going solo if had been Kimber instead of Jerrica. She was always the youngest and the most prone to being gullible and there were several times when the main villain Eric tried to get her to do just that. Yet for all her faults even she had a strong will. Judging from most of what been said about THIS movie, about the only strong willed women who goes after what she wants is the villain. How strange that for aside from having a sex change, Erica seems like the character closest to the source material; at least in terms of wanting the best for their group.

    • What’s funny is that I read one article where the director said he’d pitched the idea for a Jem movie years earlier that was supposed to much closer the source material in that there were holograms and there was action. Supposedly studio heads they didn’t think the public could buy someone deceiving people with holograms into believing she was two different people when the looked so similar and appearing to be in two different places at once. As opposed to getting people buy two armies of robots from outer space that turn into cars?

      What’s more bizarre is that despite trying to update in series that as 80s iconic as Daria is 90s iconic, they should shove in all these retro elements Brad described when it would been much simpler to just set it in the 80s. You know back when Holographic technology and music videos were still a novelty. Heck if you really don’t think this premise would work today why not go for affectionate parody like the Brady Bunch movies and have these character’s living today in a time warp and not understanding that every watches music videos on line now. That would have at least been somewhat clever.

    • Also If you want a good Jam adaptation that actually have Jam and the Holograms I highly recommend the comics. They are far more faithful to the original and yet manage to put a good modern spin on things.

      Oh and the Misfits get almost 50% of the “screen time”.

  6. You know what was a better Jem and the holograms movie. Spice World. Bacon already covered the sketchy as fuck stuff they did. and the script was yes an entirely different movie that they just added Jem stuff to. I was a huge fan of the series way back, and honestly bought into the hype they gave it, all the talk of trying to make it as close to the original material as they could, and everything else. Then I find out it’s this, this what the hell ever this movie is. For me this is a bigger slap to the face of my childhood than the Transformers movies and TMNT movie ever will be, at least those movies have you know ninja turtles and transformers in them.

    The second TMNT movie though I have some hope for sicne the new I think director plans on making it super heavy with the nods to the old 80’s series, and I mean Shredder is no longer a giant robot so that’s a massive plus.

  7. Jem and the Holograms completely bombed in the US. $1.3 million made only. Safe to assume there will be no sequel.

  8. My God, that’s a lot of impotent anger in these comments.

    • Ruddy Bollocks

      Junky movie aside, the behind the scenes stuff angered a lot of fans, too.

      Rather than approaching Christy Marx, who is still working as a writer, to write the script, or even act as a consultant, Marx was completely shut out and wasn’t even made aware of the movie until it was publicly announced. Marx is not some random schmo who farted out the series 30 years ago, and then never had anything to do with it ever again. Given nothing but the premise and some Polaroids of the dolls, Marx was set free to basically create her own world: She came up with Starlight House and the foster girls angle; She gave the girls their last names and named quite a few of the characters; She wrote the bible and 1/3 of the episodes; There are so many Easter eggs, and even outright storylines, in the series that were influenced or pulled from her life; She was even let to cast some voice actors. Marx has been very open and active with fans over the years; We love her: Including her in the production of the movie would have had fans rushing out to support the film; Instead, she was shut out and was given a day on set and a cameo, supposed balm to the anger of fans who felt burned by that action.

      Jon Chu and Scooter Baum released a video, in early 2014, supposedly courting the very people who were already fans of the property. Want to be involved in a movie that’s for you? You can! Simply audition for the roles, costuming, makeup, whatever you want! This movie is for you! Fans were ecstatic! ‘Jem’ was obviously not going to get the budget of a Hollywood blockbuster so a B-movie made by, and for, the fans seemed the perfect direction to go. People tripped over themselves to audition. And then the hammer dropped. A cast, made up of TV actors, was announced; The crew had already been hired: The director and the production company had never been serious; They just wanted free advertising for their low-budget schlock. Oh, but hey, if you want to be an extra, you can be an extra. Wanna be an extra? * sobs* We need extras….As time went on, things got worse and worse: The Christy Marx snub, the revelation that the story and its world would contain about 5% of the original( who needs holograms as a central premise in a movie called ‘Jem and the Holograms’?) , Jon Chu telling people that it was probably a good idea to “lower their standards” ( exactly what a director should say about a movie he’s trying to promote), and then that damn trailer dropped. There’s been nothing to truly engage fans of the very property that they are trying to sell. Disgusting.

      Impotent anger? Yes, as far as the movie is concerned, outside of not buying a ticket and letting everyone you possibly can know that it’s garbage, the power of fans has been neutered: The people who made this movie couldn’t care less about what we think, or how we feel.

      As far as ‘Jem’, as a franchise, is concerned? No, actually quite the opposite. We have been given a gorgeous comic adaptation that is almost a year old and is going strong. Nearly each piece of the work done on that comic is perfect; The stories and art show love for the property in every ounce of its being. We can buy the hell out of that, and judging by the number of re-prints, have been.

      We, also, have the Integrity Toys’ Jem line which is a few years old and over 30 dolls deep. Each doll is beautiful and has great detail in the clothing, makeup, and accessories( Synergy comes with the Jacqui Benton master tapes!) We, obviously, have been buying that, too.

      So, yeah, anger over the movie exists, and should, but we have many other, more effective, ways to show love for ‘Jem’. The real Jem.

  9. Really, who WAS the intended audience for Jem?
    It pisses off longtime fans, the people who just kinda remember it existing aren’t going to be interested enough to go see it, it doesn’t seem to be targeting a younger demographic besides some youtube pandering crap (and Jem was a very 80s idea that doesn’t hold up quite as well today), and the movie is neither well-written nor novel enough for it to stand on its own.
    It doesn’t hold value for anyone!

  10. He’s back….

    • So ummm
      Rock The Kasbah is listed as a drama on Rotten Tomatoes, but at least 2/3s of the rotten reviews say it’s not consistently funny… CRITICS~! 😀

  11. It bombed like Dragonball Evolution & The Last Airbender. Even people who never saw the cartoon hated it. It wasn’t just a nostalgia fail, but it was poorly made & padded out like a documentary.

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