Just Friends – Ask Lovecraft

In which we put on our surgical love doctor scrubs.

About AskLovecraft

In which celebrated and dead author HP Lovecraft offers his advice on such diverse topics as love, finance, cooking, and personal hygiene.


  1. TragicGuineaPig

    I think Biz Markie might have some useful insights into this situation as well.

    Mr. Lovecraft, your own view mirrors my own: it seems that the so-called “friend zone” imposes a sort of false dichotomy on relationships. It’s as if people want to be able to share only certain parts of their lives with another, and not the whole. It is perhaps better to think of friendship and romance not as opposites but as complimentary aspects. I’ve always believed that, if I ever get married, it will be to someone who was a friend first. But then again, what do I know about lady…ing?

  2. *APPLAUSE!* :)I love how you explain the “Friend Zone” as a poison regardless of which route to end up because of the inherent sense of entitlement in such thinking. BRAVO!

  3. TragicGuineaPig

    Another thing to consider is that, not only do people’s feelings develop in different directions at times, but often they develop at different speeds. Love’s not like gravity: not everyone falls at a consistent 32ft2/sec. Maybe the person you are interested in doesn’t have the same feelings for you today, but they might next week, or next month. Who knows?

    But I will say this: that person will not know your true feelings for them, nor will you know theirs for you, unless you begin by telling them. I’m not going to say that it isn’t a risk – it is. But you’ll never get anywhere unless you are honest. And while instincts are not always accurate, the truth is that, if you truly are good friends, you’ll probably know whether it is worth taking the risk. Common sense will tell you whether the risk is too great – like if they are already seeing someone or something like that. But in the end, you have to just take the risk.

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