Mary Magdalene: You’re Doing It Wrong – Stuff You Like Extra

No, Mary Magdalene wasn’t Jesus’ wife. Or a prostitute. Or…you know what? Let’s instead talk about the things that she WAS, regardless of what Andrew Lloyd Webber, Jesus Christ Superstar, or The Da Vinci Code might say.

Also: She’s Not That Chris.

About Sursum Ursa

Ursa presents Stuff You Like, where fangirls + analysis + awesome examples of media = good times for all.


  1. I have never bought the argument that Jesus was married. Only an idealistic young man who had never been married would have absolutely prohibited divorce.

    • Except Jesus didn’t prohibit divorce, he only prohibit it for egoistical reasons. Only hypocritical preachers claim otherwise, like also only crazy hippies claim that he was married.

  2. Why did you say that name!?!

  3. All I know about Mary Magdalene is that she got demons expelled from her. I’ve never seen Jesus Christ Superstar so I didn’t hear about the prostitute mix up. O.O Oh my.

    • People believe that she was prostitute from middle ages, finally Catholic Church correct that associating her with character of prostitute who was someone else was unjustified, but still not everyone cough up that.

  4. Interesting video. Much of what is considered accepted church history comes from misinterpretations of writings mis-translated, and selectively chosen or rejected over the course of hundreds of years in handwritten accounts.

    Also, it’s quite possible in a militaristic, polytheistic society like Rome where the gods themselves are frequently getting it on with each other and mortals, prostitution was probably not considered as shameful as later religious societies would view it.

    • We do have fairly reliable copies of the ancient manuscripts in the original languages, some of which date to just a few decades of when St. John was still alive. Not bad, considering that the Romans were actively trying to destroy any copies they could find at certain points in their history. All one needs to do is study them in their original languages, or read first-hand translations.

      The Roman Army not only approved of prostitution, but it was largely homosexual. But while that might have been the case with Roman society itself, it wasn’t the case with the Church. The Church most often saw itself at odds with Roman society, with numerous points of conflict, particularly in the cases of veneration of the emperors, participation in official Roman religion, eating meat sacrificed to idols, and sexual practices.

      The point of contention here – as it the case with a lot of papal and traditional doctrine – is that there have been a great many things that have been introduced and accepted within the Church without questioning their origins. In the case of Mary Magdalene, Pope Gregory was just pulling it out of his butt, and the Roman Church accepted it without questioning the source.

      • “The point of contention here – as it the case with a lot of papal and traditional doctrine – is that there have been a great many things that have been introduced and accepted within the Church without questioning their origins.”
        Dante Alighieri suddenly leaps to mind. So much of how people think of hell only exists because it was in Inferno

        • Exactly. Divina Commedia is work of popular fiction, what isn’t theological in any way. It is bit hilarious that even priests sometimes referee to it ignoring what really is in the bible and many stuff simply are different if anyone ever read it.

      • I understand the points about papal doctrines and teaching, but something you write about the Roman Army puzzles me.
        Most of what I’ve read or heard about Ancient Rome suggest they only openly approved of homosexuality when it involved slaves or foreigners. That it’s was mockable (at best) for a male citizen of Rome to let them self take the passive (read: feminine) role in a sexual relationship. Of course, what is social accepted in any culture isn’t always reflective of what was social practiced.

        • True, and also: Unless human physiology has changed a great deal in a mere two thousand years, having a same sex orientation should be a small, but consistently occurring segment of the population.

          It wouldn’t be something a whole army would be eager to engage in without the biological inclination or from maybe being curious on long, lonely, campaigns.

      • It should be pointed out that not only Catholic practiced that and after contr-reformation this institution noticeably improved addressing the criticism. Despite what some fundamentalist Protestant like to say, they also have many weird out of ass believes like for example: Rapture. There isn’t anything like that in the bible! Newer was. It was basically made up by one person and it totally based on presumption about misinterpretation of the Revelation.

        • Exactly! The “rapture” is only mentioned once in all of Scripture, and that passage connects it to the resurrection, not several years beforehand. It’s not so much “all the Christians mysteriously disappear at the same time,” but rather that heaven and earth are reunited on the Last Day. And yet, thanks to Scoffield, Lindsay, and others, there now pervades this false idea that one day all the “truly devout” Christians will suddenly vanish, leaving the devil to create hell on earth for seven years. Christian eschatology is really all about the Christian being reunited with Jesus on the Last Day; the dispensationalists (that’s the term used to refer to that school of thinking) have taken that and turned it into a scare tactic.

          Even Revelation isn’t really about the eschaton, though it does address it in the last few chapters. While most often found at the end of most Bible translations, the truth is that the Gospel of St. John was written some 25 years after Revelation, and it really should serve as the final word. Revelation is largely misunderstood because John was writing about things happening in his own time, but people have come to assume that it’s all about the end times. Therefore, things that would have been taken as references to the Roman Empire are seen as references to Soviet Russia or the European Union.

          I could go on and on about how Dispensationalism has ruined American Christianity with its tin-foil hat conspiracy theories. But I should probably stop now.

          But you know who is a good source of information on this subject? Leeman Kessler. That’s right, our own Mr. H.P. Lovecraft himself. He did a podcast a few years back with a couple of guys reviewing the Left Behind series. If you can find it, I’d say give it a listen.

          • Basically. Only part what has some prophetic value in recent times is Revelation 20, but it is so brief that it only mention that devil would be released for short time after thousand year imprisonment and then he almost immediately lose. Considering that culmination of main part of revelation is fall of Rome what did happen in IV century after Hun invasion (indirectly). So it is totally possible that this predicted second war of apocalypse is also thing of the past already. Turkey threat to Europe? Time of World Wars? Or maybe ironically Crusades? Who know? Anyway, real Christian has nothing to be afraid here.

  5. Woah how young was pope Gregory.

  6. Incidentally, I saw Baby Driver the other day. This video explains perfectly why their are far more songs about a Mary than a Deborah.

  7. I believe they tend to also attach her to the adulteress whose stoning Jesus stops in that passage that isn’t in the original manuscripts. You know “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and all that stuff.

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