Matrix Reloaded – Nostalgia Critic

It’s allllll down hill from here. Matrix Month continues with Matrix Reloaded.

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

309 comments

  1. Like every good schmuck, just when you think it’s dead it comes back with a corporate sponsor. Though personally he should have been reborn as painful rectal itch. Also I’m 23 and I got that joke, so what exactly does that say about me? What does that say about anyone who knows pop culture that goes back farther then we were even alive, in that sense what does it truly mean to be “alive” do we keep going long after the body is dust? Do we continue in the collective unconsciousness as a unaware ball pointlessly collecting information until we are given a new physical form to roam about this planet? When will mankind reach beyond the stars, will there be life among that void? Are stars just pinholes in the curtain of the night?….. I really want some toast now.

  2. Caught this on your blip page earlier, so I’ll comment now.

    I disliked the first Matrix and was dragged to see this and the last one by the girl I was dating at the time. Even though I didn’t like the first movie, it was a little easier to follow than the sequels.

    I literally almost fell asleep watching this and the last one a few times despite some of the action scenes. You do bring up great points on how much more confusing the story is and the pretentiousness of the dialogue.

    Doug, I’m actually surprised you liked this one better than the first one and I was expecting you to completely rip this one apart, but I actually did enjoy how much more laid back you were in this review, which actually made the jokes funnier to me.

    Can’t wait to see you take on the final movie.

  3. Yup, you were going to hear this; in response to the Man of Steel joke: Fuck you.

    Thank you for your time.

  4. and this is the reason why I prefer out of my computer messiahs optimist prime, and zero. Because we see their relationship partners and what they are willing to sacrifice. Especially zero! Please go play the clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IPIPLM8ELY
    Still better than the one, is really the six?

  5. I didn’t hate this but I really didn’t like the third. You will see why. Makes the first two feel pointless at times especially trinity’s part in this one. Third one I probably put as one of my least favorite movies right up there with Borat.
    I can’t believe critic came up with a better ending for these movies then the real one. Well considering how dumb the real one is then yeah not that hard. Though calling it safe might be a stretch.

    • That fan theory has been around for a while, and I was rather surprised to the Critic address it. It would have been a cool twist though.

      • Didn’t know it was a fan theory first. Thanks.
        Funny thing is I remember that the flying around in this movie was said to be like the way for matrix creators to Reeves try out for role of Superman in future Superman Movie

    • I think the conclusion the critic came to was pretty obvious to many people. Humans can’t shoot lightning out of their hands, ergo, another Matrix.

      It’s what I though the trilogy would end on after watching the second movie, so i was very, very disappointed with the third.

  6. Your point about Neo going back the way he came from rather than flying around the world would be a valid one but if my memory serves me right, they got to the chateau (which is in the mountains) from a restaurant (which is in the city) using a wormhole door; I think all the wormhole programs were turned off those leaving Neo in the mountains in a chateau so he couldn’t simply go back the way he came. Don’t get me wrong though, it was a stupid reason to keep Neo out of the action scene and instead have him fly around the world to play Deus Ex Save-A-Hoe.

    I remember liking the action scenes in this movie but even as a teenager, I felt that there was a big disconnect between the first movie and the second. I cant’ wait to see “Revelations.”

  7. Oh, I forgot to mention, I never thought about your idea that everything in the real world is actually still the matrix. I think that would have worked well as a twisted dark ending, having everyone celebrating and seeing the programs such as the Oracle, Architect and program family among the crowd talking about how its better to just let them believe they won and made peace with the machines.

    However…it would have given Hollywood an excuse to make more Matrix movies and given the CGI heaviness of the industry right now, it might have been better to just end it the way it did.

    Kudos for making me think though!

    • I always though that “real world” was a dump, where they drop every problematic unit. This way they don’t make a problems inside Matrix as that much, as they though that they are free. Of course when with time they start cause problems, they were eradicated of retested.

      Or at least that would be truth if creators would be smart enough, and not force fans to make sense with this slack movie.

    • I actually thought the “real world is also another layer of Matrix” was an all too obvious twist and – back at the time – I was totally rooting for the idea that the movies do not choose that route.

      Be careful what you wish for and all that…

    • Really, there’s nothing in Revolutions which contradicts that hypothesis. The machines could just be allowing the humans a fake victory to keep them happy in the backup matrix.

  8. This was really funny review. Much funnier than review of first The Matrix. Then again this sequel is worse so it does give chances for better jokes.

  9. And I am among those that got that joke. XD

  10. ThatManWithTheHeadband12

    Aren’t we all rebloated in our own special ways?
    Also Doug, Reb & Stimpy doesn’t really have a lot of its own music. It uses a lot of stock music, so much so that you’ll find some pieces more familiar for their use in SpongeBob.
    Agent Schmucker put me in a jam. Are you jelly?

  11. “The answers to all the matrix movies; why they’re so silly and make no sense.” Only half way through the review, hopefully I’m being premature, but really. Has this critic forgotten how to think? “The action scene was good.” Where has the intelligence gone? Why is there a black hole around anything uplifting to the understanding? Don’t let these TV stars program you with their nonsense.
    Perhaps in the next review you might actually talk about what the films are about, or at least speculate, because I have no idea what film you are reviewing here. It’s just a bunch of action scenes and brief snatches of dialogue. SPECULATE, MAN!

    • :\
      I got to the end. “He’s just Jesus.” :\
      What will happen in the final installment? Was it all a show and the critic escapes from the Matrix?
      Or was it all a joke and he just sings you back to sleep, ready for the next program? I mean programme.
      Surprise us, man.
      As Neo himself would say, “Let he that is without a good story cast the first edge of hand blow, or the first philosophical criticism.”

  12. I’m 18 and I still got the Smucker’s joke.

  13. I can’t believe we actually saw the “Zuul motherfucker Zuul” joke with an actual fridge.

  14. I liked the first Matrix, but when the sequels came out, they were so over hyped, I felt as though they DESERVED to suck.

    They got what they deserved.

  15. I don’t know, I might be over simplifying things, but isn’t a software program, when you get right down to it, basically just made of electricity….and our brains have electricity in them..so…I dunno, I could be mistaken, but the idea of a computer program hacking a human brain doesn’t seem that far fetched to me…..

    also, Back to the Future was originally meant to be just one movie…they made the other two a few years later…that turned out pretty good….just saying…

    • Do you know what is difference between software and hardware? You can’t hack hardware on its own, because those are real circuits, not programs. And you simply can’t rewire brain on flow (it need grow in specific way). And also brain is more chemistry then electricity.

      • Yes, he does. And our minds are software. That’s how they can put their minds into the Matrix.

        Our brains are constantly making and breaking connections, in accordance with the software. The idea of copying your mind to someone else’s brain has been around forever.

  16. Loved the review, Doug! Always been a fan of the Matrix films, but good GOD are they pretentious for a bunch of action flicks. As an aside, fun fact that the Wachowski brothers actually DID do the giant monster thing at the end of the Path of Neo game. Not that their laughing about it is any LESS pretentious than the ending to the films… but hey, at least it makes for a hilarious boss fight in a game.

  17. Funny thing is in the game Matrix: Path of Neo the last boss is literally all the smiths combined into one mega giant smith. xD

  18. Wait, an entire planet worth of people is numerically less than a few thousand?

    MAKE SENSE, DAMN YOU!

  19. One question remains, though. Who was the owner of dat ass that Jesus approved of?

  20. If I remember correct. The final boss in the Matrix game “Path of Neo” is actually all the Smiths that has combined to a giant mega Smith.

  21. Coming soon. The scourge of even blacker Willy Wonka?

  22. These are bad movies, but there are a lot of things Doug clearly doesn’t understand about the plot.

    • On, no.. not another Evangelion guy!

    • FataMorganaPseudonym

      Well…? Don’t leave us hanging. Please enlighten us as to what it is exactly that Doug supposedly doesn’t understand.

      • Every time he says that plot threads aren’t connected, when they definitely are. He flat out admits that he can’t make sense of what happened. While it’s not the best story, there is a coherent story present.

        We start in the middle of Neo’s dream. Somehow, he’s dreaming about a future fight where Trinity gets killed.

        When he awakens, our heroes are told that the Machines are coming to Zion, and to come back. Morpheus decides to allow one more mission into the Matrix to get info from the Oracle, someone who has been helping them out so far. The Oracle has gone into hiding because Smith is after her, so they set up a meeting with her protector, who fights Neo to check and see if he’s really who he says he is. After confirmation, he’s given access to the Oracle, who starts talking to him about the theme of the rest of the trilogy: Choice.

        Upon leaving, Neo is tracked down by Smith, and Smith attempts to take him down. It turns out that, when he was “killed” last time, he didn’t actually die, but part of Neo rubbed off on him, and just like Neo refuses to die when he’s supposed to, Smith does as well. He disconnects from the system, and goes around. He finds that he can copy himself into other people and thus built up an army of clones. With these clones, he attacks Neo, in an attempt to assimilate “the One.”

        Neo barely escapes, and they meet back in the real world. He tells what he learned from the Oracle, about there being some sort of Keymaker who could give them the key to access the central hub of the Matrix, which they want to attack to take the Machines down. This Keymaker is currently in the services of the Merovingian, a crime-boss type guy who has a lot of rogue programs working for him. So they go to his “night club” to try and get the Keymaker from him.

        The Merovingian has a huge speech explaining his philosophy of life, but in doing so reveals he’s just a womanizing jerk. His girlfriend, tired of his ways, agrees to help our heroes get the Keymaker. But they are found out, and the Merovingian sics his goons on Neo as a distraction so they he can escape with the keymaker. When the leave, Neo finds out he’s actually been tricked and is no longer in the night club, but in a cabin in the mountains. The last door he’d gone through was a portal by the keymaker. He thus has to fly back to chase everyone else.

        The rest of our crew is still back in the City, and gives chase to the Merovingian and his cronies. After a bunch of fight stuff, they manage to get the Keymaker, but are still in a pretty bad spot. Luckily Neo arrives and grabs everyone.

        From there they hatch out a plan to get to the core of the Matrix, using the Keymaker’s keys. It seems there is a hall of doors that the keymaker can take them to, one that links to every door in the Matrix, as well as having a door to the core. The problem is, hallway of doors is still inside the Matrix and has a fancy security system, which they have to shut down the power to. In the attempt to do this, a bunch of people get killed or incapacitated, necessitating that Trinity go in, despite Neo asking her not to, due a the dream at the start. Everything happens just like in his dream.

        Meanwhile, Neo has gotten into the hall of doors and into the core, where he learns that the entire mission, including everything that happened in the first Matrix, has been a plot by the Machines. The entire time, they are trying to convince him that he’s the savior of humanity, and that he’ll have to choose to save humanity. They created a false quest for him.

        Then we get into the Architect stuff, which is a huge exposition dump explaining how the whole thing works. It’s complicated, but I’ll try to simplify.

        First off, why the Matrix exists: Basically, the Machines originally created the Matrix to try and save humanity. The world sucks sucks and humanity is dying, so they take over. They put Mankind in a fake dream like state, and control everything. At first they tried to make it a paradise, but, for some reason, humanity always rebelled. They eventually settled on a world mimicking the height of human civilization, which they claim is the late 20th to early 21st centuries. They also implement failsafes.

        They find that, while this has the best retention rate, some people still choose to rebel. So they set up this fake prophesy and religion to control these people. Every once in a while, they get someone who rejects not just the Matrix, but is able to essentially mentally hack and break all the rules. This guy is “The One” who they then lure in to give them his code so they can reboot the Matrix and try to compensate for him.

        Why give them a choice? Because, if they don’t, that’s when rebellion kicks in. But choice is the one thing the Machines can’t quite understand. They can’t quite understand what makes humans choose to do certain things and not others. The current system is their best system so far. It’s elaborate, but it’s worked for a long time.

        But Neo is special. He doesn’t choose to save humanity. He rejects the choice they offer him. He chooses what he knows they don’t want him to choose.

        All this, BTW, also explains why no one cares about all the flashy stuff. The machines expect that the Matrix is going to be rebooted soon.

        And it’s actually a lot more complicated than all of this, because I’m only talking this one movie here.

  23. Actually, “The One” isn’t an anomaly. The One is purposely chosen by the machines.

    It’s essentially the Matrix’s bug testing program to see if each version of the program can be more and more acceptable to humanity. When The Architect says they created a perfect world for the first Matrix, then realized humanity wouldn’t accept it, they realized they needed a human factor to essentially pick out the parts that weren’t human enough. Then, they can use that info, destroy Zion and the Matrix, then rebuild it with an improved version, and start the process over.

    The anomaly is Smith, who permanently changed when Neo merged when him in the first film. He has become a virus that was unexpected and can potentially destroy the Matrix.

    • Not exactly. Smith was purposely created to eliminate Matrix and force Neo to “back to the core” or what crap it was.

    • thats what i get to

    • Naw, Neo is still the anomaly, from the Architect’s point of view. He’s still the one who chooses not to accept the Matrix. He’s just an anomaly they have a plan to deal with. They use him for bug testing and set the parameters around his creation, but he’s still a natural product of the human desire for choice.

      Smith is indeed an anomaly as well, but he’s a new anomaly. As is Neo’s choice to not save humanity. Neo is different from the other anomalies, and since it was part of him that rubs off on Smith, he’s also the one who ultimately created the Smith anomaly.

      The way you state it, you make it sound like the Machines intentionally create a “One,” but they don’t. Why would they? The system works up until the “One” is created. What they do is try to control the One and use him for their own purposes. The ideal Matrix would be the one that no longer needs a “One,” since no one rejects the system.

  24. I might just be a little short-sighted here, but I don’t think the Matrix-within-a-Matrix idea would’ve been that effective a twist. The idea behind a twist is, arguably, to take the story in an unexpected direction. After Reloaded came out, EVERYONE I talked to, both in real life and online, movie-buff and casual viewer, was expecting that exact plot development. It might’ve still been a better ending, but it would’ve been ultimately as predictable a story arc as what we initially got, in my view.

    • You are correct, but it also was simply more logical solution. I personally think that creators weren’t as that smart to make proper use of it (Wahowskies are exploit directors).

      • I don’t think they weren’t smart enough. I think that wasn’t the story they wanted to tell. Sure, it’s more straightforward, but it also ends with Humanity being doomed.

        Once you have multiple Matrices, you can’t ever know you are free. They wanted to end with Humanity’s triumph.

  25. disembodiedvoiceofreason

    So I wasn’t the only one who thought the sex rave in the beginning made no sense. Also, with yeah Smuckers!!!!!

  26. Doug I felt the same way you did about the real world just being a secondary program that kick in to send those that don’t believe in the matrix world into computer loop.

  27. As a person who loves fan theories it’s fun to see that you are addressing one of the cooler theories that would have actually improved this trilogy.
    Personally I actually rather enjoyed the third movie (yes I know it’s heavily flawed), and I am looking forward to your review of it.

  28. I almost died at the multi-smith fight with the added Ow’s, Note to self don’t drink while watching Nostalgia critic. May die.

    I would also agree that after the first film the series got so far up its own ass that it came out its own mouth.

  29. If they can upload Kung Fu directly into brain, then Smith can upload himself the same way.

    • Good point, but still that don’t make a sense (especially because martial art in 90% are physical training).

      • Yeah, so wouldn’t it make more sense that Smith can be uploaded, since it’s all mental data?

        • Except brain isn’t a hard drive, you can’t just upload stuff in it (at least in normal circumstances).

        • It’s the kind of data that makes the difference.

          In the first case it’s just knowledge, that you personally use. In Smith’s case, he is “sentient” and tries to control his host. He would either need the knowledge of how a human body works, plus enough information about his host in order for him to successfully control someone, or he would need to keep his host around in order to accomplice the basic human stuff.

      • It could work if you assume the learned skills are a series of scenario programs run at higher speeds. Since everything in the matrix is mental anyway, a running a simulator inside the simulator can give the same results as actually taking the time and learning the skill. We can’t even be sure if there is a time difference between the matrix and zion.

    • FataMorganaPseudonym

      Except that Neo and Morpheus and the rest could only do that kung fu and other Superman/magic stuff while they were inside the Matrix, not while they were tooling around on the ship or in Zion in the real world. Well, until the end anyway, when they pulled it out of their asses that Neo could do magic crap in the real world as well.

  30. I don’t buy the basic premise of how these movies think free will needs to work (somehow we’d know we are being controlled and reject an artificial world unless we have an escape valve allowing us to break free that we have no conscious knowledge of, free will allows us to magically hack computers to give us superpowers etc.), but the dialogue has a certain internal logic that means its not meaningless. It and the story is pretty boring, meandering and not always clear. So yeah basically I agree with the review. But just to nitpick…

    Isn’t Neo’s option not to save Zion as such but rather kill everyone in Zion or kill everyone in Zion except for 5 or 10 people to restart the whole scenario again and continue the Matrix’s enslavement of humanity. So his choice is not as stark as you suggest.

    The idea of hacking the brain is way less ridiculous than most of the stuff in these movies. With a little leading interogation you can give people false memory syndrome and hack their brains to remember all kinds of things, the human brain has terrible security protocols.

    With respect to these movies the traitor in the first movie believed the machines could erase his memory and leave him believing the Matrix was the real world. For all we know the people with jacks in their head have circuits and wires running through every part of the brain and so can mess around with the brain and remake it as needed. This could also explain how they keep the Matrix a secret they just rewrite the populations memories as needed.

    Now how Smith knows enough about neurology to rewrite a brain so its completely Smithified that makes no sense. But it makes no sense that Morpheus and Trinity hack the Matrix to make them jump 30 feet just by believing they can or that Neo/Tom can rewrite the Matrix to do anything on the fly (rewriting untold amount of computer code in a split second) by concentrating really hard.

    As others have said he can’t just use another door because he used a magic door to get to the chateau and the magic doors have all been turned off. That being said according to the first movie the One has no limits, so he should have been able to rewirte the Matrix to give him another magic door or flew so fast he got their right away (goodbye conflict), but I guess Morpheus was wrong; the One has all kinds of limitations.

    Neo’s ability to hack machines wirelessly in the real world makes no sense but I don’t think his ability to hack the Matrix makes sense either or the Oracle’s ability to perfectly predict the future. Those are magic powers so why not one more? Maybe the jack in the back of all the people’s necks always had wifi and he’s just the first one to figure out how to turn it on?

    • Ok, first of all Neo is a program, not human. That is why he could reprogram matrix, and do other “magical” stuff. As for other people they use hack equipment and so that is why they also have powers, but more limited. Point is that you need to understand that Matrix isn’t real to not limit yourself.

      As for why Smith can hack people, it isn’t as that nonsensical but simply pore explained. People were simply surprised, and so count it as flaw. Here best explanation is that real world isn’t real but Matrix dump. Real people hacking, and hacking machines in real world could be explained easily by that.

      And in end Oracle wasn’t seer. She know what will happen, because she plan it. She is the boss of Matrix. Chef of R&D of machines. Whole plan here is to make machines closer to humans (Neo).

      • I think Smith hacking people is possible I’m not clear why anyone would program him with such an ability.

        Trinity getting shot (as predicted by Neo/the Oracle I forget) only happens because a bolt or something breaks in a Zion ship and blows it up. There is no way to predict that or engineer it (unless the fan theory that even when they leave the Matrix they are still in it is correct but that is not what the movies would have us believe).

        Maybe you are right about the super powers but that is not how it is portrayed by the movie.

        • All the agents are programmed to hack people but can only do it one at a time. What happen to Smith maybe the program of the One who isn’t strictly bound by the Matrix rules DID imprint on smith. All viruses evolve by interacting with what threatens them.
          Also the Superpowers thing? If they can download information into their brains surely enhancing certain physical attributes aren’t out of the question.

          • Do agents hack people’s brain or just their avatar, the portrayal makes me think its just their avatar.

            They don’t portray it as if some download is doing it (except for things like Neo learning Kung Fu).

            If that is what they are doing they should show that that is what is going on instead of saying “DO YOU THINK THAT’S AIR YOUR BREATHING?!”. They make it seem like simply embracing that the Matrix is not real allows this stuff. Knowing Super Mario Brothers is not real has not yet allowed me to jump higher in it.

        • If I remember correctly her death was Neo dream, but because he is sixth version it could be programmed. Not that they didn’t destroy Zion five times already, giving him choice “people or girl” in every case.

          Oracle was higher tier program who could destroy Matrix if she needed (I think that she modified Smith to force Neo to back to the core). That is why I don’t see particular reason why she couldn’t plan stuff in so called “real world”. I think that “real world” is not real is not exactly a fan theory, but doped idea which they don’t explain considering people as idiots. But it was clearly in the movie, as most people catch it for they own (I personally think that it was mentioned earlier “first Matrix”).

      • Uh, no. Neo is still 100% human. If he wasn’t, he couldn’t make a choice. The Machines can’t understand choice. Furthermore, there is explicit dialog referring to him as human, even amongst the Oracle and the Architect talking to each other, when they would have no reason to lie.

        I think you’re mixing up Neo and “the One,” which is indeed a sort of code that Neo the human carries. But even that is shaky on whether it is code that is designed, or whether it pops up naturally.

        It gets convoluted if you try to make it all science based, when the Wachowskis did intentionally make it a bit mystical, too. The stuff Neo does outside the Matrix make no sense otherwise.

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