Planet of the Apes – Nostalgia Critic

Ready for more of Tim Burton’s monkey business? The Nostalgia Critic reviews 2001’s Planet of the Apes.

Get some awesome Nostalgia Critic T-Shirts here

Thanks for Screen Junkies for letting us use the Honest Trailer setup. Check out their YouTube channel here – https://www.youtube.co/user/screenjunkies

Thanks again to Jon Bailey for the awesome voice work. Check out his YouTube channel here – http://youtube.com/jon3pnt0

and finally, thanks to Noah Antwiler for his reprisal of Terl. Check out his site here – http://spoonyexperiment.com

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

305 comments

  1. YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!!

    Wait, wrong version..

    • I almost skipped this video because Doug’s face wasn’t in the thumbnail. Didn’t realize it was the nostalgia critic!! Lol

    • Another excellent review, Doug. Awesome to have John Bailey back and it’s great you and Spoony still work together quite a bit. Always great seeing him. lol, that intro really brought back memories. XD

      I’ve always been a long time fan of the first Apes movie with Charlton Heston (YOU MANIACS!!) and I’ve actually never seen the sequels or the modern day reboots, nor do I care to see them since I heard none of them hold a candle to the original.

      All I can say about the Apes franchise now is….

      YOU MANIACS! YOU FUCKED IT ALL UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

  2. MidnightScreeningsman2014

    The blip link doesn’t work it says it’s a private video.HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Badly Drawn Manchild

    The Blip link doesn’t work; it claims the video’s marked as private. This is awkward for me as Screenwave is beyond busted for me for some reason.

  4. Cool, one of the first comments. Anyway, the “truthful preview” was funny and a fresh new way to introduce the video. A good review too!

  5. If I can’t watch the fucking video in fullscreen without the resolution and sound quality going down, then Screenwave probably needs some work done to it.

  6. I knew he’d eventually do this. All Burtonites must at some point.

  7. Wow, it really did feel so good to hear the Honest Trailer guy say “fuck” without it getting bleeped.

  8. To be fair, there are valid reasons why they decided to go for motion capture effects in “Rise” and “Dawn.” They wanted to have apes, and not apes with human bodies. But having real apes act in the movie would be abusive and immoral because of the kind of story that was being told.

  9. Well that was long ass intro. Why not just make it a seperate video instead of putting it in the beginning… On second thought I don’t really care

  10. ifyourereadingthis

    That was admittedly a great intro. “White Privilege the Job”—I DIED

  11. That opening. And then that other opening.

  12. MiscellaneousSoup

    That’s one of my favorite “Truthful Previews”/”Honest Trailers.” I don’t have a comment on the actual review yet. I’m letting the rest of it load while I listen to the newest Lesbian Talk podcast.

  13. OK, THAT was hilarious!!! You darn dashing Critic! OK that sounded wrong, didn’t it?

  14. Hey, can we see a see spot run review please!!

  15. Dear God! It’s true; describing the process for a movie/series may spoil the magic for some of us out there.

    Strong Bad was right…

  16. Finally, I’ve been requesting a NC review of this movie for months.

    • Yeah, I was also tricked by the marketing campaign to see this movie in theatres (twice) and later got the 2-disc special edition DVD (which I still own to this day). Thank god 20th Century Fox came to their senses 10 years later with Rise of the Planet of the Apes and its 2 sequels.

      6:37- Fun fact: the girl holding up that engagement ring previously played Astronama/Charone in Power Rangers.

      I also like the ape make-ups in this movie, which were done by Academy Award winner Rick Baker, who also did the make-up for films like An American Werewolf in London, The Grinch, the Men in Black trilogy, and The Wolfman remake.

      19:18- When I first saw this movie in theatres, I was also thinking about Battlefield Earth, mostly because I had HBO at the time, and they just got this movie to air everyday. BTW, you also mentioned this movie in your Battlefield Earth review.

      Another good thing I can say about this movie is that it got me interested in the now late Michael Clarke Nuncan, who later played The Kingpin in Daredevil and the voice of Kilowag in Green Lantern.

      20:44- I’ll tell you what’s happening here. Thad is literally going ape shit.

      Nice job adding the Confederate flag in that one shot.

      26:34- Uh, they also did the “man kisses ape” thing in the original movie, Critic.

      Yeah, since I’ve grown older after seeing this movie, I also don’t get the movie to THIS Planet of the Apes as I did with the original classic.

      Thank you, Doug, for FINALLY reviewing this movie. This really makes up for your Jurassic World review.

  17. Oh, I get it. APE Lincoln.

  18. Uhm, I’m the only one that noticed only now that the alien of “Battlefield Earth” is Spoony?

  19. Ah, that Honest Trailer was hilarious! Nice to see you have a good sense of humor about yourself. Funny review also. Also, nice to see Noah again as Terl. Man that’s a lot of “alsos”.

  20. KingGramJohnson

    Thane and Terl, 2016!

  21. yeah.. horribly boring film

    i really like the makeup and the design of the armors though

  22. 21.45 DAT FACE took me completely by surprise, have never seen you do one like that, and it is freaking hilarious!

  23. Awesome review! And good self-criticism:), such a job and ability to laugh at your own mistakes(and think them up) is a sign that you’ll continue to entartain, educate and do all other wonderful stuff for years to come.
    Excellent work!
    As a Russian I laughed with pleasure upon Putin-joke), I hope government won’t be as stupid as hollywood producers to try to ban it out).
    Good luck and thanks fo the fish!(and there IS a lot of it;)

    • Good review but that bit of prolonging CIA propaganda is not funny. Maybe an ignorant fool without ties to East Ukraine and with too and overdosed on said propaganda would find it so. I, however, have relatives and a friend, who had to abandon everything they owned and flee into Russia for their lives out of fear to death squads of radicals. Moreover, I spend my whole youth in a small Ural town in late 90s and early 2Ks, felt the disorder brought by extreme “right-wingers” on my own skin. It’s anything but funny.

      With all that I have never been a supporter of Putin or his party but what is he doing I still would call “a responsible policy”. At least in comparison to known alternatives.
      North Americans and Europeans have to wake up and realize that they are those hypocrites who applaud warcrimes and destruction of countries, led by The Hypocrite, mass murderer blessed with a prize “for peace”.

  24. The intro did forget to mention “And somehow, this site is full of dumbasses despite the guys in this intro being the only important ones – like: not shaved generic guy who tries to make faces in his thumbnails. Idiots who jump on the Minecraft and MLP bandwagon here because that’s how they get views, right? Cartoon character reviewing toons which aren’t actually toons. And somewhere inbetween: Linkara, only fulfilling his Patreon audience’s dumb, boring wishes. And Cinema Snob, who started to feel misplaced with his topic between all that childish, forced garbage. Not here: People who got sick of it and left.”

  25. Tamara’s reaction in the end will be my genuine reaction if Hollywood ever makes that Big Trouble in Little China remake.

    • THAT movie is a classic and should NEVER be remade.

      Has Doug done a review of that? If not, he should. 🙂

      • In the words of Kurt Russel if a movie was made well the first time around don’t remake it.
        Dawn of the planets of the apes is diffrent as it actually a re-imaining.
        Other like the horrifying wrong franchise reboot The Crow Total Recall, and the one I hate the most Let me In American remake of Let The Right One In.

        Fright Night was did a good remake though.

      • Spoony would probably straight up murder Doug if he ripped into BTILC.

  26. Am I the only who noticed that Doug made a Temple of Doom joke right and then right before Mark wiped the dust away on the wall, it said CA LI MA lol

    • That was what he made the Temple of Doom joke about. Because they’d been saying “Ca Li Ma” throughout the film and were headed there. Might have helped if he’d showed a little more so the joke followed the film and not his narration.

    • Emperor.Hampton

      I’m surprised he didn’t do a V’Ger joke from Star Trek: The Slow Motion Picture. It was the EXACT same thing! Is dust really that hard to wipe away?

      • To be fair to The Motionless Picture, the stuff covering V’ger’s plate was corrosion and micro-meteor damage, and Kirk had to put in some elbow grease just to get a glimpse of the other letters. Doesn’t explain why the advanced machine society that found V’ger and built its ship didn’t have brass cleaner on them, but oh well.

  27. It isn’t “bestiality”, Doug. Bestiality is to have sex with a animal of lower intelligence than humans incapable of giving their consent. These apes are obviously sentient beings of the same level of intelligence and capability of giving their consent as we humans do. You are basically only saying it’s gross because she happens to look different from a human. But think about it – what exactly is gross about it? It really just boils down to you finding it gross because they look different from each other. And it is not bestiality.

    • Is there something you would like to share with the class?

    • Emperor.Hampton

      Yes, but its still an ape, which is a normally non-sentient being. And Walburg’s character knows apes as, until the events of the movie, non-sentient. The fact that he’s okay with wanting to bone a creature that looks exactly like a non-sentient animal raises some issues.

    • Someone has some issues here and weird interests here.

    • Nope, bestiality is simply humans having sex with animals. Apes are animals, therefore it is bestiality.

    • Ericthebearjew1

      You’re not one of the interviewees from that July 4th Cracked article, are you?

    • Agreed. I always find it hilarious that people complain about stuff like this, but if they’re aliens, it’s perfectly fine. Like, what’s the difference? Seriously, there’s no logical answer. Any answer someone might have is completely illogical. If sentient beings consent, what is wrong here? Whether it’s Kirk and half the galaxy, or an Earth species millions(?) of years in the future, either way, they’re both human and non-human. Hell, in Mass Effect, if anything, Liara would be committing beastiality by fucking a human, going by people’s logic.

      • I see your point but I think the difference lies in the context. Aliens in Star Trek and Humans are a somewhat equal terms, but in this world there is a tad of a difference. In this world not only does Wahlberg already has a perception of apes prior to going on the planet, but you also have the social division of apes and humans on the planet established.
        Granted this changes little in terms of sapience level but with Aliens (like on star trek) they are made up and typically holds the role similar to how one human of a culture sees another human of a different one, with Aliens often being symbolic. With Planet of the apes the view is quite focused on how they are different animals in general

        So with that considered I believe that’s what makes bestiality more apparent here than with an Human Alien romance. I don’t argue why they aren’t the same, but why they are viewed differently.

  28. I could have sworn Critic had already done this one but I guess I was just thinking of Blockbuster Buster following up the Honest Trailer with his own review of it.

    Also, the opening to this seemed less like self-depricating humor than self-realization. And yet I couldn’t disagree with any of it.

    Finally….WHERE’S FIFTY SHADES!!!???

    • Oh no, it’s self-depreciation, I’d wager he more than likely knows all of the flaws with his work.

      I know I know pretty much all of mine. Just short of libel, pretty much any smack talk people have to say about me would have no real effect because I already know how much of a horrible person I can be.

  29. Does anyone know what music is that’s being played near the end of the video when Tamara was re-enacting the whole ‘you maniac!’ scene?

    • I’m going to guess it’s something Skitch wrote especially for the scene.
      Either that or something from Jerry Goldsmith’s (?) original PotA score.

  30. The “Jem” thing would’ve been funnier if I didn’t have the exact same reaction after seeing the trailer.

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