Nostalgia Critic Real Thoughts On: Jupiter Ascending

This movie has a following…REALLY?

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About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

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61 Comments on "Nostalgia Critic Real Thoughts On: Jupiter Ascending"

JiCi
Guest

Here’s why the people I know defend it: the VFX… because I come from a group that studied 3D animation and design…

Arwijn
Guest

Funny. I just tried to watch this movie yesterday, but after being sickened severly by the characters i had to stop after half an hour. I could no longer bare it. This movie is Science-Fantasy action-porn. It is stupid and an insult to screen writing. The weirdest thing about it is that Meg is the least terrible thing about this movie! Her performance was actually tollerable compared to the others! Insane…

FaeQueenCory
Guest

For me, it was the world.
It has a really cool setting…. but the movie is just horrible.
It’s much like FFXIII, which I hate too, the WORLD that was made for the set-up… what a game/movie that would have been made from that!
But…
Both of these works are absolute shit.
So much a wasted potential.
Though by no means do I like Jupiter Ascending, but it’s setting would have been really cool… but… if only a different movie.

Steamking
Guest

Agreed. This whole “genetic religion”-angle is just genius, a shame that they don’t do much with it.

For me there are also some similarities to Fury Road, in that Jupiter – like Max – is a character who doesn’t do shit, just reacts to things happening around her/him. But then again, Charlize Therons character has a stronger motivation than Channing Tatums (not to mention Charlize has more acting chops), which is why Furiosa is more relatable than Caine (even though the worldbuilding in Fury Road kinda sucks).

Heart-Lightning
Guest

You do realize Jupiter Ascending was a bomb all around while FF13 was a success at a critical, community and financial standpoint, right?

You can’t make that comparison when one is a big budget movie that all around failed while a big budget video game was successful in all three categories (critically, community and financially) was so successful that it spawned off an entire subseries aka 13-2 and LR.

Steamking
Guest

Financially…yes.
Community…maybe in a small group (while the rest of gamerdom still scratched their heads, trying to figure that one out)
Critically…well, game journalism used to hype everything Square put out and they *did* make some good games…

…but I think there might be a reason, why the sales for 13-2 and LR fell way behind the initial XIII sales.

Heart-Lightning
Guest
Dude, the game has an average of 8.2-8.1 by community averages. That’s clearly a vocal minority who hated the game. If you look at something like Destiny, you can see that the game is in the 6.8-6.9 range. Hell, RE6 is in the lower 6’s. Also, subseries like FF13-2 and LR didn’t sell anywhere near as much because that’s a general thing: X-2: 3.4 million FF10 HD: 1.6 million Crisis Core: 2.57 million Dirge of Cerberus: 1.2 million XIII-2: 3.1 million LR: 1.4 million Lower development costs, smaller teams, smaller marketing and recycled material don’t usually sell anywhere near as… Read more »
Nonsuch42
Guest
There are many virtues to Jupiter Ascending beyond its gorgeous visual effects. It creates a fascinating world with an intricate mythology. It villains are quasi-immortals who bathe in people juice with relish and tour the universe in floating space palaces. Its lead is courageous and resilient and is never objectified or belittled, always being treated as a figure of admiration. It features one of the most entertainingly deranged performances (from Redmayne) ever committed to celluloid. It’s its own beast and is confident about what it is and what it wants to be – a sci-fi fairy-tale about a reincarnated space… Read more »
The Mysterious M
Guest

…How do you cast Sean Bean and not kill him? That’s like a cardinal sin of moviemaking!!!!

“Thou shalt not allow Sean Bean to liveth to the end of a film!”

Hardback247
Guest

He wasn’t killed in National Treasure.

Loki Duck
Guest

He hasn’t been killed in a few things, funny enough the Silent Hill movies being one of them.

Alberto19
Guest

I would rather see audacious movies like Jupiter Ascending rather than competent and middling movies like Jurassic World. The Wachowkis’ film had a lot mor technical problems, but was infinitely more interesting in my opinion.

And Speed Racer is a genuinely great movie. http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2015/03/27/film-crit-hulk-smash-speed-racer-as-artist

Munichvince
Guest

No,no,no, no- Sorry no.

Nonsuch42
Guest

I totally agree. We need more movies that shoot for the stars like JA did – Hollywood is so adverse to risk right now and JA is deeply atypical for its ambition and scope. It obviously didn’t succeed for the majority, but it succeeded for me and I find it rather wonderful.

MidnightScreeningsman2014
Guest
MidnightScreeningsman2014
In the movie the only Character I cared about was Channing Tatum but the rest of em could die and I wouldnt give a single thing about them. But I agree that Eddie Redmayne was hilarious as the villian and I loved that he screamed no when he fell. I thought the design of the lizard wo served Eddie Redmaynes character was cool but the other alien things were weird(especially the space elephant which was weird). But I doubt this movies cult following will grow into something really huge and I didn’t get why Mila Kunis’s character went back to… Read more »
Steamking
Guest
“I didn’t get why Mila Kunis’s character went back to work as a plumber when she could be queen of the earth” That isn’t really that hard: during her travels she found out that having all that power removed her genetic “children” from the concerns of everyday people (to the point where they gladly sacrifice whole worlds for their convinence) – there is even a line in the movie, where one of the evil siblings says how strange it is that the reincarnation of their mother was scrubbing toilets on Earth – “No one in my family has ever scrubbed… Read more »
MidnightScreeningsman2014
Guest
MidnightScreeningsman2014

Those are some pretty good points.

Steamking
Guest
It just occurred to me: what would have happened, if Luke Skywalker got back to the moisture farm, before the Imperials could have killed Owen and Beru? What if he had been able to save them? Would he still have gone off to join the Rebellion? Maybe, but it wouldn’t have been an easy choice (nearly losing them and all) – by killing them off, Lucas has eliminated that moment of difficult choice (speeding up Lukes journey to blowing up the Death Star), but at the cost of future character developement (Luke first had to develop some new bonds –… Read more »
keekosdoctor
Guest

I still stand by my love of Speed Racer.

lobsterzoidberg
Guest

Speed Racer is fun. In a way, so is this movie, but it also kinda sucks.

raknai
Guest

Its the My little Pony factor.
People love the characters so much that they start to create interest for the background characters and create fanfic about them, because they want to know more about the world.

TheOnlyThing
Guest

People found Jupiter Ascending characters interesting?

Nonsuch42
Guest

I found Jupiter likeable and appealing and the villains fascinating. The villains of the film are a family of vampiric space capitalists with fabulous fashion sense, floating space palaces, worrying mother complexes and psychotic disregard for life. That we live in a world where such characters are deemed ‘dull’ is somewhat depressing.

Palar
Guest

Don’t mistake persona for personality.

Nonsuch42
Guest

I’m not stupid and as far as I’m concerned the characters all have personality. Jupiter is socially awkward, curious and inarticulate, struggling to get herself across and find her place in the world. Balem is dour, depressed and unstable, occasionally having fits of hysteria. Kalique is calm, refined and clever, excellent at playing any situation to her advantage. All of them have clear personalities and I find them fun and interesting to watch. It’s your loss if you don’t.

Palar
Guest

I had to look up two of those names to remember who was what, because the movie only told me: “Meet Schemey, Shouty and Blandy. Schemey is hoping to bang his mother’s reinclonation, Shouty is an emo whackjob who wants to be a real boy, and Blandy… is here to round out a trinity. She has no real purpose in this movie.”

MidnightScreeningsman2014
Guest
MidnightScreeningsman2014

@TheOnlyThing a lot of people didn’t really like the characters in the movie but the only character I liked was Channing tatums but that’s it. But the villian is also halirious.

DoveCG
Guest
I understand your comparison, but I disagree. My Little Pony is just an over-hyped fandom with a huge fanbase. Par for the course. What you’re describing isn’t even MLP exclusive… that’s just how fandom usually works. Any story that’s sequential in nature, such a tv show/cartoon show, increases the odds of that happening, since the writers are going to leave themselves plot hooks to follow for future episodes, and it’s better to have more hooks than they’ll ever use, rather than not enough. It’s kind of inevitable that will inspire fanfiction, fanart, and fan discussion, which may expand upon information… Read more »
Nonsuch42
Guest
I love JA as a film, not just as a concept/world. I think what some people – especially people on CA (not yourself – you’re being very reasonable and open to different takes) – fail to understand is that it’s possible to genuinely like and even love a film that’s flawed. So I can accept that JA is rushed, sometimes crudely edited and head-scratching in places, but at the same time I love the wild, episodic nature of the plot and enjoy the world, mythology and characters the film presents. JA is a highly undisciplined film but its sprawl and… Read more »
NineofSeven
Guest
I’m not a fan of the movie, and I thought the concept was ridiculous, but I thoroughly enjoyed it anyway. In fact, I think I partly enjoyed it because of it’s ridiculousness. Ridiculousness is rare in films and books, but when done right (i.e. done so that the viewer/reader believes the premise), it’s wonderful. Never once when I watched the film did I say, “no, that could never happen [in the setup we’re given]!” That’s what I mean by ridiculousness working: when, if you explained it to someone, they’d say, “That’s ridiculous!” but when you’re actually watching it, it makes… Read more »
Heart-Lightning
Guest
Jupiter Ascending has a 25% critic wise by Rotten Tomates, a 43% on a community average and was not a financial success. It’s kind of hilarious when internet comments go after such things like FF13, Dark Knight Rises, Bioshock Infinite, etc. Yet we completely forget about the failures that are the Wachowski bros. movies and how they keep failing on a critical, community and financial level. And they still keep getting work. Why must we focus on things that are successful on all three aspects, but try to drag them through the dirt for angering a vocal minority? And somehow… Read more »
Nonsuch42
Guest
Your comment is bafflingly wrong-headed, since you’re basically saying that it’s ‘bad’ that a film like JA – which was generally disliked – has a following and fans who love and find value in it. You’re basically saying that it’s bad for people to enjoy that the majority did not enjoy, which is the kind of attitude you find in fascist dictatorships. Something is not automatically great because it does well at the box office or gets good reviews. By that metric, Paul Blart Mall Cop is a better movie than Jupiter Ascending because it was far more financially successful.… Read more »
Heart-Lightning
Guest

Well to be fair, Paul Blart Mall Cop 1 got better fan reception, critic reception and financial reception than Jupiter Ascending.

Rotton Tomatoes:
Paul Blart 1
Critic: 33%, User: 43% (got a sequel), financially successful

Jupiter Ascending:
Critic: 25%, User: 43% (didn’t get a sequel), Financially bombed

So yeah, my stance still stands. Helps that at least Paul Blart is an actual comedy, while the minority of people in Jupiter Ascending consider it an unintentional comedy.

Nonsuch42
Guest
You are either consciously ignoring my point or failing to understand it. I will repeat: a film’s critical reception and box office performance do not reflect its quality, they reflect how well liked it is by film critics and how much money it made. I am of the opinion that all art, including films, is experienced subjectively; that means that ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are largely subjective, and that the only opinion I really trust and care about is my own. I am, of course, interested in the opinions of others and engage with them, but my own experience of a… Read more »
NineofSeven
Guest

So what you’re saying is . . .

It’s bad to like something that slightly over half of people dislike?

Logic FAIL.

Heart-Lightning
Guest

Not just over half. It’s in divisive territory. 43% like to 57% hate in in that divisive territory that basically is one of the worst two situations to be in.

The difference between that and say something like FF13 or Dark Knight Rises is that both have a 75-80% like ratio to the 20-25% dislike ratio. Vocal minority with their hate groups The key words of that statement are “vocal” and “minority”.

AlucardNoir
Guest

As one of those people that mostly liked the movie I have to say the only things I disliked were the humans harvested for their cells stuff and the voices used by the 3 siblings. Then again, I always liked the speech parts of the Matrix sequels more then the action. What can I say, I have bad taste, Equilibrium was a great movie levels of bad taste.

PS. Anyone else think this would have made for a great Jodorowsky comic?

PeterOfThePanpipes
Guest

For all it is- Speed Racer is the cartoon come to life, and that alone is reason for it existing.

Wanderer255
Guest

I love the Wachowskis, warts and all, but even I feel Jupiter Ascending was a complete misfire on their part – a fascinating misfire, mind you, but a misfire none-the-less.

If you two ever do get around to watching Cloud Atlas and their new Netflix series “Sense8” I’d love to hear what you two think. Personally I love them, but both are kind of love it or hate it affairs.

Noah Fence
Guest

To me, everything that makes “Jupiter Ascending” bad/so-bad-it’s-good it shares with a certain movie called “The Black Hole.” That movie would make some excellent review material, wink wink nod nod.

Loki Duck
Guest
I love Jupiter Ascending because it’s so hilarious because it’s such a bad movie. And part of why I still enjoy it despite it’s badness is because there are aspects I do like and the bad parts are mostly hilarious to me… Again this is a movie where Sean Bean is part bee and has BEE POWERS (Seriously mad you didn’t bring up that part in the review because it’s hilarious). I love the music for one and the visuals weren’t bad. You talked about not being interested in the characters, and I admit that was a bit of the… Read more »
The Media Fire
Guest

I agree, this is probably my favorite bad movie in a while. And don’t get me wrong, it’s REAAAALY terrible, but I’d almost like to see some kind of spin-off movie with Sean BEE-an and Were-wolf-angel-space-marine-clone man just to see how crazy it would turn out.

Loki Duck
Guest

That’d be amazing especially if the space police (Especially Ganesh) are involved.

FIDreams
Guest

Is it on the Internet that they’re defending this movie? If it is then Walker brothers, you of All people should know that it doesn’t take Balls to post a comment on the internet.

Now get those people in public and ask them, and If their comments are still as strong as well as their conviction. Then give them credit for the Shear Size of their gonads.

Just had to get this out of the way because it could cause a negative reaction in Trollers who think all they have to do is just type stuff to get respect.

BB Shockwave
Guest

Shear Size… dude look what you are typing. I don’t think you wanna bring shears near your gonads. And I lecture you in grammar, who’s not even a born english speaker.

And yes, fly here to Hungary, I will defend this movie. I know quite a few other people who do like it, too.

Blue Beats
Guest

Review Gnomeo and Juliet.

TJ Jordan
Guest

This movie was definitely terrible! Not getting back the $10 I wasted to see this.

DFX
Guest

Damn, hope that they will make Cloud Atlas NC episode.

happymel
Guest
Like I said on the Nostalgia Critic review itself, I actually like this movie. I don’t love it but it’s gorgeous. I don’t like Jupiter. My favorite character was actually the evil sister for some reason. I have only seen about 45% of sci-fi movies so some of the ripoff scenes went over my head. It’s like I was seeing those ripoff scenes for the first time. The outfits are to die for. It has some good action scenes. Eddie Raymayne’s overacting is GLORIOUS. I was laughing so hard in the theater with the friend I saw it with. We… Read more »
BB Shockwave
Guest

I don’t think the sister was even evil, at all. She was the only one who had no ulterior motives -she indeed thought Jupiter was a reincarnation of her mother and just wanted to help her, in her own way.

Snorgatch Pandalume
Guest

Hah! I wonder if the Brothers Walker would be as tolerant and respectful towards people who said they liked the Star Wars prequels, or at least didn’t pathologically despise them and bash them at every opportunity for not being what they wanted them to be. I’m thinking probably not.

Black INK.I.M
Guest

Oh yeah, I’m sure of that, it must be why they made an ENTIRE “Top 11 good things in the star wars prequels” episode!
Clearly, they must have some sort of pathological hatred for these films

CaptainRoland
Guest

I say Stupid Americans who cult follow Jupiter Ascending.

BB Shockwave
Guest

I’m not american, and I liked this movie. I liked John Carter too. They are PROPER sci-fi, not this washed-out action-adventure like what Hollywood usualyl does these day.

CaptainRoland
Guest

Yeah like I said “Stupid Americans” in a certain movie-going way.

CaptainRoland
Guest

Poor Walker brothers I feel your frustrated pain with American movie-going cult followers.

CaptainRoland
Guest

I am sorry Walker Brothers that you have to act like Sigmund Freud, trying so hard to study psychologically the American movie-going and movie-making public mind, I truly feel for you guys you’re trying a little too hard to act like pyscho-analists of certainweird or queer American movie watchers and bad filmmakers.

CaptainRoland
Guest

Psychol-analists I meant sorry slightly misspelled.

CaptainRoland
Guest

Also I only love good movies for the most part with some guilty pleasures or bad elements in good mainstream big budget Blockbuster movies like Star Wars prequels and The Hobbit three-parter.

BB Shockwave
Guest
This is a rather awesome movie, really. It’s like Dune meets Brazil meets Star Wars. The protagonist is a low-born everywoman whom people can relate to, the universe shown is interesting and the worlds and races very well done (it’s all explained even briefly, unlike the lots of unexplained things in Guardians of the Galaxy, like what’s Knowwhere or why no-one came to collect the Stone from the totally untrapped place Starlord found it?) I think you are just letting your hatred of the Wachowskis – and I agree, they did some terrible movies in the past, Matrix 2-3 included… Read more »
LittleWitchHilde
Guest

gilliam yes 8^)

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