Nostalgia Critic Real Thoughts On: The Jurassic Park Movies

Just in time for Jurassic World!

See the original review for Jurassic Park here – http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-jurassic-park/

See the original review for Jurassic Park 2 here – http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-the-lost-world-jurassic-park/

See the original review for Jurassic Park 3 here – http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-jurassic-park-3/

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

41 comments

  1. TragicGuineaPig

    Can’t wait to see that guy challenge that dinosaur to a DANCE OFF BRO!

    • TragicGuineaPig

      5:25 – We’re talking about eyebrows. Seems like there was something else recently in which conversation about eyebrows played a prominent role, but for the life of me, I can’t think what it was.

  2. I will admit that I have no issue watching all 3 films, and actually watching the movies on SyFy to. Granted that ‘The Lost World’ is the worst, but I do like the many deaths of characters by said dinosaurs. It is just great to watch those attacks and how with who gets taken down next, much like the reason to watch slasher and monster movies. I will agree that ‘The Lost World’ is far longer than it should be, and I only like the island parts the most, granted it is caused most peopled died there.

    As for Jurassic World, it kinda does feel like a cross between Jurassic Park 1 and 2, due to the park and the massive amount of people getting attacked. It just feels closer to a repeat of Jurassic Park with a Syfy Asylum twist of mutant dinosaur.

  3. You guys are way too harsh on Lost World in my opinion.

    At least that sequel tried unlike JP3, which was such a lazy cash in. I actually like everything EXCEPT the San Diego part which made no sense in the story. Yeah the characters are not especially likable, I agree there, but I disagree that the movie is “ugly” and I think there were some inventive set pieces. The John Williams Score is amazing again as well. Lost World isn’t a masterpiece, but it’s average to me.

    In short, There is no way Lost World is worse than JP3.

  4. I have never seen the Jurassic Park films so they hold no nostalgic value for me. One of the reason is probably because I was about 3 or 4 when the original was in theatres, so I would have been too young to go see it then. I remember seeing The Lost World merchandise when I was in elementary school though.

    A couple Real Thoughts requests that I forgot last time:
    Bio-Dome
    Howard the Duck
    Good Burger
    Jingle All the Way

  5. Devil's Advocate

    I can see what they were trying to do in the Lost World, nature or not, animals, even man eaters, have feelings and if you saw an injured baby animal, even a man eating one, would you just let it die?

    • Devil's Advocate

      and in fiction, you sometimes get that lion with the thorn in it’s paw thing.

      • Your name says devils advocate, but you’re a pussy. These are dinosaurs. They don’t care or your life, and we don’t care about there’s. SO yes I’d let it die since this includes my survival. You wouldn’t last long in a survival situation.

  6. Chris Stuckmann liked The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

  7. The Mysterious M

    As a kid, I liked 3. As an adult watching it, it was just “let’s try new ideas and see how they work.” For the most part, they failed (for example, they wanted to try a different “king of the beasts” that wasn’t T-Rex, so they went with Spinosaurus– which, I don’t care how much hate I get, but I like the Spinosaurus. It’s inaccurate as hell, but I still like it). But, can I call Jurassic Park 3 a bad movie? Personally, I can’t. I just call it a failed experiment

  8. The Mysterious M

    THAT WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! Jeff Goldblum’s argument is total BULLSHIT!!!!

    “You stood on the shoulders of what other people did. You didn’t do the work for yourself.” (I’m sure I’m butchering that quotation, but you know what I’m talking about).

    YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING SCIENTIST! THAT’S WHAT SCIENCE IS ABOUT! You take what someone started, and then you CONTINUE the work and you progress! You cannot continually restart the scientific process, there would be no progress!

    • Still not as bad as “The Dinosaurs had their chance”

      It’s like the guy in charge of earth said “It’s getting boring down there. The dinosaurs had 100 million years and didn’t achieve anything. Let’s throw a rock at it and see what happens.”

      • The Mysterious M

        The whole “Dinosaurs had their chance thing” is very irritating but didn’t bother me as much. In horror movies (and that’s what I see Jurassic Park as…to an extent) there’s always that one kind of character; the “I told you so” asshole.

        Like I said, the other part of his argument pisses me off. How can you be a scientist (or I think a chaotician is sort of mathematician, I don’t know for sure) and not know what the general purpose of science is?

        • In the book, Ian Malcolm is even worse as the I Told You So Guy. All his dialogue is just reiterating how much of a bad idea it was to make a dinosaur park and that his theory was right all along. Still love the book though

          • Also made a bit more sense for him to constantly ramble since he was suffering from blood lose and a fever due to his injuries… Though why an island resort wouldn’t have even a basic first aid station is beyond me…

  9. Jurassic Park is one of my all time favorites. I saw it three times in the theater.

    The movie I saw the most in the theater was The Blair Witch Project, clocking in at 11 times.

  10. The Mysterious M

    You think Vince Vaughn can’t do drama. Oh I hope you’re not fans of True Detective.

    • FWIW, I actually liked The Cell, and thought Vaughn did a decent enough job in it.

      A few other random thoughts:

      Yeah, Goldblum’s arguments in the first movie are B.S. In real life, it would have been the lawyer who was the nay-sayer, worrying about liability issues (who the heck would insure a place like that?), not being all, “We’re gonna make sooo much money!”. The argument I wanted to see one of the science types make was, “Yeah, let’s bring back the dinosaurs, but don’t put ’em in a park open to the public; make it a scientific reserve/research center”.

      As for the second movie, I was hoping Pete Postelthwaite’s (sp?) group would just shoot Vince Vaughn’s bunch. So, yeah, I liked the third move better.

      And how does Tea Leoni keep getting hired? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her be good in anything.

      • The scientists might be thinking that but they are experienced enough to know that the money involved in creating and maintaining these animals needs to come from somewhere.

      • Kind of why I wonder how the in-universe investors and lawyers approved the opening of the theme park in the new film, considering all the problems they had between the first and second films. A bunch of people are killed when the dinos escape. A t-rex runs over San Diego. Can you spell LIABILITY and LAWSUIT? Who added money to the pot to make this thing work out in the end? And who didn’t lobby a bill through congress to make cloning of long-dead species illegal?

        • The Mysterious M

          I can explain that one!!!!! The filmmakers said Jurassic World is a direct sequel of Jurassic Park. The continuity and events of The Lost World and JP III will not be apart of the continuity from Jurassic Park to Jurassic World?

          Why? Their defense for this is kinda lame. Jurassic Park and Jurassic World take place on Isla Nublar; Site A. The park. Lost World and JP III take place on Isla Sorna; Site B. The factory…if you will. Again, it’s a really lame (weak) defense.

  11. I agree that CGI can be used in a very wrong way, but I also think that people are a little to hard on it and often just use it as an excuse to just to criticize a film. Don’t get me wrong, there are movies where the CGI is horrible, even others that don’t hold up. But I feel that people beat on CGI just because it is a new thing being used. Heck, there tons of movies from the past that had bad practical effects, even special effects as well.

    • I don’t knock CGI for being new. Rather, I do it because it’s often used in a lazy way as a way of replacing practical effects instead of as one tool in a toolbox of techniques at a filmmakers’ disposal. CGI should be used as an enhancement, never as a complete replacement. We as an audience have gotten so used to CGI that we can spot it from a mile away, and it can completely remove the suspense from a scene if we see a CGI actor fighting a CGI bad guy in a CGI landscape. The ideal balance is a mix of techniques. Use stunt people on wires. Have the actors interact with solid, physical things that they are able to see. Use more physical actors in motion capture suits on set with the non CGI actors. Then use blue and green screens to add in far background, or little effects that would be completely impossible otherwise. Sadly, far too many filmmakers these days are just shrugging and going wholesale CGI instead of trying to mix and match techniques to get the most “realistic” performance and feel.

  12. Vader_the_White

    Um…Lion King was 1994. I was born in the summer of ’93 and I still get that right. Also, T2 was 1991.
    Personally, the most I’ve gone to see a movie in theaters is twice. The two films that was done with was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Aliens vs Predator: Requiem. AVP:R was so that I could see it Christmas Day and the next day with my dad since I couldn’t wait. Harry Potter was so my family could see it release day and later that week in IMAX 3D.
    My enjoyment of Lost World might be pure nostalgia as it is the second film I remember seeing in theaters (the first being Disney’s Hunchback) and I haven’t seen it in a very long time, so who knows, I might hate it now.
    The funniest thing about the third film is that in the actual review, the NC’s reaction is very similar to my reaction seeing it as an eight-year-old in the theaters. I may not have thought “the Mothafucking T. Rex”, but my reaction was the same. The T. Rex is the fucking star of the film and was WASTED in Jurassic Park III. WASTED. Other than that, I liked the third film.

    Let’s just hope Jurassic World (aka, the one named after a Yu-Gi-Oh card) is good.

  13. Yeah, my main problem with 3 was the breaking up of the two leads from the first movie. Never made sense to me.

  14. I actually am born in early 2000’s, but I pretty much grew up with all of the Jurassic Park movies.

  15. The first one came out my freshman year of high school, and I saw it some ridiculous thing like twelve or thirteen times. Even though I was a weird little proto-hipster and wasn’t going to see it because the book was so good and I was so much better than the people who fell for all the hype in the run-up to the film. I actually forgot what a good movie it was; I got bored with the first half of it when some channel ran all three back to back, because I was in the mood for stupid dinosaur cheese and not expecting an actual fairly good film.

    I think the second one came out right after I graduated. I remember that being the first movie I sat through and thought, “Wow, this is *so bad*…”

    The third I saw because power to our house had been out for over a week and there was nothing better to do, and… eh. It was better than sitting around a dark house for two hours. Slightly.

  16. Leave Jeff Goldblum alone for once in your lives he’s Jewish for God’s sakes.

  17. Now here’s a quote from Hallmark Pictures or Video’s based on George Orwell’s Animal Farm okay here we go, “Remove man and the product and friuts of our labor (or labour in English or Brit English) shall be our own” “Remove man and we shall be free and equal” that’s the wise Berkshire Boar pig Old Major’s words making a speech he had heard in his dream to the rest of the barnyard animals (both herbivorous and carnivorous animals like dogs and mice or rats or maybe they’re omnivores like some bears and humans).

  18. I’ve bee hoping this Real Thoughts segment would pop up.

    Though I enjoy the books and return to them now and again, I can certainly see why Crichton’s cynical bent would be off-putting to others. I have no problem with the difference between the book and movie of Jurassic Park, as the spirit is very much the same between the two: an exciting adventure story involving dinosaurs and technology spiraling out of control.

    I always wondered if Ellie and Alan’s break up in JP3 was a weak way to tie it to the JP book. In the book, Ellie was Alan’s grad student, and she was engaged to someone else.

  19. I was kinda hoping you guys would take this opportunity to acknowledge all the mistakes you made in the lost world review, but I guess not

  20. I actually don’t think that I have had any nostalgic summers. I think this summer may be the closest that I have ever had. I’ve only seen a movie in the theaters twice. I think I last did it for the first Captain America movie. I didn’t know that Jurassic Park was a book. The things you learn. The first one is really good with some flaws. The second one is slightly meh and yet for me, enjoyably stupid. 😀 The third one is SUPER meh and yet super stupid in my opinion. The breakup alone pissed me off against the movie.

  21. Technically, Ian Malcolm isn’t a scientist; he’s a mathematician.

  22. I Love Jurassic Park <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
    And I like Jurassic Park 2, around 45%
    And I Hate Jurassic Park 3, with one word, Spinosaurus.

    I have come to the conclusion that the only reason that T-rex lost that fight with Spinosaurus, is that it's going have to be the T-Rex kid from Jurassic Park 2, as a young adult.
    In other words, lack of experience….

  23. Headcanon: The whole movie of JP3 is one crazy dream sequence. It almost makes more sense that way.

  24. NC, speaking is disappearing accents, didn’t you notice that Hammond lost his Scottish accent during the second film?

  25. Believe it or not I actually saw Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo 6 times when it came out in theaters. I thought it was so fucking funny. For all the shit Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo gets I think the terminology and the movie is super funny and entertaining it’s just so dumb but yea you guys were talking about how many times you saw a movie in theaters Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo is my highest I was 19 at the time and kept bringing friends with to see it. If they didn’t like it I would He Pimp Man Slap them.

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