The Haunted Mansion – Nostalgia Critic

General Zod is in the film…AND IT STILL SUCKS??? Oh yeah, because when I think Haunted Mansion, my first thought is Eddie Murphy!

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

252 comments

  1. Let’s just say I’m glad Pirates stayed as a franchise and not this.

    I have a love/hate relationship with Eddie Murphy as he can be good in certain movies like Bevery Hills Cop and awful in others like Vanpire in Brooklyn (Uggghhhh). This movie did no favors for Disney or Eddie Murphy’s career.

    Fuck yes, I want to see this Gargoyles adaption!

    • I mean, Kevin Costner wouldn’t be THE worst Xanatos… but you need to just get Keith David to reprise. It’s what that film would deserve.

    • Given that the best example you can come with was classic Eddie Murphy, that shows how far he’s fallen from grace. Not that there aren’t exceptions, I love Bowfinger and i’ve heard good things about The Nutty Professor (though never saw it). Hell even Tower Heist was decent fun. But he’s degenerated into all of the cliches and stigmas that are attached to kids films. That’s a true shame. If you want your feelings of him to be raised slightly, go through his stuff from the 80s. Trading Places and Coming to America fit the winning streak that Beverly Hills Cop defined. Hell I even loved The Golden Child back in the day but it’s painfully dated now, even if it does have some great moments.

      • Which is why I can’t completely dismiss Eddie Murphy since he did so many great roles in the 80’s before he needed paychecks and did movies like Norbit and Daddy Day Care.

        He’s actually GREAT in Nutty Professor which Doug did an old vs new on years ago. Bowfinger is another great movie he did too.

        • The Mysterious M

          Actually the paycheck thing was only half of it. Yes, his films now are bad, but I can understand his reasoning at least. He wanted to kid’s films because he had kids.

    • Always saw Jason Isaacs as a live-action Xanatos.

    • I still dont understand why Pluto Nash is so hated

  2. Nice Review as always ! (This movie is one of the worst i have ever seen)

  3. damn it i high fived the screen lol

  4. Mr. Nostalgia critic! I know he’s new to the site, but could you one day due a crossover review with the Dom on the awful percy jackson movies please!

    • ThatGuyFromCanada

      Now now say what you will about the sequel but the first movie is an enjoyable film. It sets up a story, has some decent special effects, interesting side charecters and ends on a good note.

      • nope. it is filled with tired cliches and supermassive plot holes, and a large portion of the CG was Hobbit-levels of nonsensical.

        • The Mysterious M

          Yeah, first film was bad. The only enjoyable part was Uma Thurman’s Medusa. I don’t know if it was her scenery chewing or what, but that was the only part I actually remember.

  5. I watched this movie as a kid on the Disney Channel and enjoyed it. I feel so ashamed now that I am grown up.

  6. Let’s see if they can make something good with tomorrowland….

  7. While this movie is bad and I’m not defending it, this review however is equally bad (and out of nowhere) as two of the Critic’s fellow Channel Awesome reviewers, Blockbuster Buster and Film Brain did this film already in much better detail; Hell this review even skips the suicide intro.

    Though once again we actually get treated to some much missed scale back on using the costars for sketches, the Gargoyles one was just out of place and sloppy here.

    • AtticusOmundson

      He skipped the intro most likely because they had already reviewed it. They’ve already made it clear that no one on the site gives a crap about “reviewer dibs” and anyone is free to review a film any way they like

      • Yes, but the standing rule has been don’t time doing a review if you can’t bring anything new or better to the table. If this had come first and then the other two, you could argue they improved upon it. But this one comes in as a way after-thought and it’s not even Nostalgiaween.

        • blacktrojan3921

          Not to point out the obvious; but when has that ever been a standing rule?

          • You’re taking that far too literally. No, nobody has ever given a true fuck about such a rule but it has singlehandedly been the reason why many reviews have or haven’t existed all the same. MikeJ has used it to validate demand for a crossover since the Critic tackled films he did and others have equally refused reviews because they’d be overshadowed by ones Critic (or others) have done which couldn’t be topped or had new info given. Why else do you think there’s barely any Phantom Menace or Batman & Robin reviews because either the world or the critic already beat that horse to death.

        • SwedishMovieNerd523

          He has done videos on:
          Princess Diaries 2, Swan Princess, Princess and the Frog (Dicneycember), and a video about the “princess hate”. But no Princess Bride :/ .

          • SwedishMovieNerd523

            Sorry, for some reason my comment was posten on the wrong tread. Once again, I am sorry.

    • The suicide scene is ripped almost directly from the ride – the imagery is even near identical. It’s one of the few scenes that actually seems inspired by it – unfortunately they took that and then tried to base the whole film around it, instead of all the other stuff they could’ve used.

      Not everyone watches those. People watch NC as a regular thing, not necessarily looking for specific reviews, and rarely is it super detailed because in the end, it’s a comedy show.

  8. This just in: Chris Bores (the Irate Gamer) is making money off of Leonard Nimoy’s death.

    • Fuckin’ bastard.

    • What’s he doing?

    • So, there’s something wrong with him making a video of memories of Leonard Nimoy and make money from it? You know, like thousands of other news outlets, media, and youtubers do?

      And how is this even relevant to anything in today’s Nostalgia Critic video anyway?

      • To be more specific, Bores left ads on the video and at the very end said that he “greatly emphasizes” that people subscribe and check out his other shitty videos. I’m starting to think he didn’t post the video because he cared about Leonard Nimoy.

    • Really over dramatic much? You must have really wanted to cry about something Chris Bores was doing…I guess completely ignoring that hundreds of people on Youtube have made their own Nimoy memories videos…Seriously get a life, if it’s that sad…..

  9. In a time where every movie was dark and colorless they make a Haunted Mansion bright and colorful.

  10. Out-Tuckered, mother fucker.

  11. God I hope Del Toro’s version gets made.

  12. You know? I’ll take this setup. I’ll take “workaholic douchebag missing an anniversary dinner” over “workaholic missing his whiny spawn’s big baseball game” any day.

  13. SwedishMovieNerd523

    Great review, as always!
    But how much are you going to tease us about Princess Bride!? You’ve mentioned, and mentioned it indirectly, in several episodes now! It is a future project!? I NEED TO KNOW!!

  14. I’ve seen the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, I plan on seeing the Tomorrowland movie, but I’ve only seen bits of The Haunted Mansion on TV; I’ve also seen Film Brain’s review on the movie.

    • I’ve been to Disney World, but I haven’t got the chance to ride The Haunted Mansion, but I DID ride Pirates of the Caribbean, Space Mountain, Tower of Terror, and (of course) the original Star Toars.

      It’s a shame that Eddie Murphy hasn’t really made a good movie since the Dr. Dolittle movies, and I STILL can’t believe I watched Pluto Nash from start to finish on HBO.

      I was also thinking of the mansion from The Haunting remake when we first see the inside of the titular location.

      I also agree that Terrance Stamp is the only good thing aboit this movie. Also, at least Zod wore something NOT gay in Man of Steel, and I still freakin’ love that film.

      9:00- Don’t worry, Doug. I high fived ya.

      I also have nothing against Jennifer Tilly, but someone should have something against the casting director of this film.

      I will never see a movie that stars the asshole of assholes, Kanye West, especially if it was based on Gargoyles.

      15:03- Why arn’t people bitching more about this than The Autobot Twins? Oh, that’s right, because not enought people talk about this movie, and only bitch about crap that’s POPULAR.

      17:01- Thanks for making this movie 10 seconds longer with that “intense” moment, Eddie. Was it worth it?

      20:54- Pluto Nash was actually released a year BEFORE this film.

      The Haunted Mansion, another one of those “Why the fuck was this movie made?” movies.

      • I’d much rather watch Kanye make an asshole of himself than watch Ellen make those shit white Oprah comedy.

      • The Mysterious M

        I thought the cast around Murphy was okay. Stamp was definitely the best, but Wallace Shawn was good too. I thought he was funny.

        “Well…there’s always uh… MY WAY!” That’s the only line that gets a laugh from me.

  15. Be concerned; I high fived.

    And you’d be surprised what kids will get into. If I had the opportunity when I was younger, I would have been all over that some language study(though probably something more practical).

    Yes, I would listen to why that happened. Why the hell did Zod get dragged to hell. There was no impetus for it. What probably would have made this better.. I don’t know. Maybe Edward calls the spirits to take down Ramsley out of rage and grief, and is able to do so by virtue of being master of the house?

    For what it’s worth, I like this film a lot more than other people seem too. The first half of the film is boring as all hell, but once the ghosts start coming out of the woodwork, it’s a little fun.

    It just isn’t enough.

  16. I only saw it once years ago and I really don’t remember much

  17. i wonder if Doug is aware that Disney is planning 2 projects beased on the haunted mansion: a live-action reboot with Del Toro working on the screenplay and an animated tv special with Gris Grimly as an animator

  18. CurtTheHistorian

    16:40 Willie! WE ARE GOING TO DIE!

  19. ThatManWithTheHeadband12

    Greg Weisman would have nightmares if Disney did Gargoyles like that

  20. Why does Kevin Costner sound like he is doing a Will Hurt impersonation?

  21. LightningSparrow

    Yeah a reboot could be awesome. Now I want one. Don’t do that to me.

    But great reveiw. 😀

  22. I fucking highfived my screen >.<

  23. Nostalgia Critic tells me to high-five the computer screen, I high-fived only for him to say “If you actually do it I will concerned about you.”

    YOU MOTHER****ER!!!

  24. Okay so you should be concerned about me.

  25. Okay…that Gargoyles bit friggin’ KILLED me. XDDD That was exactly what the Haunted Mansion movie felt like to me when my mother and I first saw it in theaters — like the filmmakers went out of their way to choose the worst possible story, actors, and tone to depict the amazing, creative premise. It’s making me hope all the more that Guillermo del Toro will finally get around to doing HIS version of a Haunted Mansion movie.

    I think the thing that irritated me the most about the film was its focus on the family, which really wasn’t that interesting. Yes, in the first Pirates of the Caribbean film, we have Elisabeth and Will as the “straight men” to the more colorful and roguish Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbossa, but they were still likable and somewhat interesting. Eddie Murphy is the only one in the family with a real story arc (sorry, I don’t see getting over a fear of spiders as a story arc), and he is thoroughly unlikable from beginning to end. He’s not funny, he’s not smart, and he seems legitimately uncaring toward his family — I know his arc is to focus more on his family rather than his work, but you don’t have to turn the character into an inconsiderate ass. Many workaholics have a good reason to focus so much on their work, like wanting their family business to succeed (like Tiana in The Princess and the Frog) or feeling strongly about work ethic and helping people (like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life), but the only motivation I really believe out of Murphy’s character was just that he wants more money. Part of that is how the character is written, but it’s also how phoned-in the performance is, and it creates a protagonist that you don’t care about. Then you place that unlikable character in a house full of ghosts you don’t care about (the Butler character is a cardboard cut-out of a villain, Gracey is a whiny pansy with no substance or brains, Madame Leota is unhelpful, and the comic relief is unfunny and useless), and you get the complete opposite of Pirates of the Caribbean’s likable blank slates going on an exciting journey and coming into contact with wild, crazy side characters along the way.

  26. Why does Zod look like Christopher Walken?

  27. The reason that Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl succeeded is because it was a compelling story that didn’t rely on unnecessary cliches. Also, it was funnier than what The Haunted Mansion wishes to be.

    • Agreed. But it worked because of a still unappreciated supporting cast. Like our two Laurel & Hardy duos bringing the funny. Or Bozeman Gibbs explaining sea lore in such a draw you in fashion. Or Zoe Saladana wanting her ship back and willing to keep punching Jack until one appeared. It gave the movie heft in its slower bits.

  28. Don’t even joke about them making a movie based on Gargoyles, Critic. What they did to the third season was bad enough.

  29. I heavily disagree with Doug on this one. This movie is a lot of fun. It’s a joy to me, and I watch it whenever I can. It’s probably in my top 20 favorite films of all time. Why? Because it’s creepy AND funny at once, without going overboard on either. I think Eddie Murphy does a great job, and all the other actors are perfect for their parts. Say what you want about the CGI, but I never noticed anything wrong with them. The storyline was actually tragic and heartfelt, if you even bothered to listen to it (which apparently you didn’t, Doug), and I think it’s a lovely little film. So, yeah, I really disagree on your take with this.

    • My, what excellent taste you have.

    • As much as I loved this movie growing up, I did sort of see the plot holes. I wanted to love the family, the story, and everything. However it was incredibly hard to actually get involved with the family. He has a point- all you really kind of focus on is that Eddie Murphy’s in the scene. I had a hard time following the story, and as for the acting, well, it didn’t really work for me. It does seem a little choppy, clichéd, and hastily written in some areas. It definitely could’ve been refined into something much more intriguing. The side storyline with Elizabeth was charming, there’s no getting around that. They could’ve stepped up everything else. Nonetheless this movie’s a guilty pleasure for me despite everything else. But I do respect your opinion, and I can see why you like it :3

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