Simple Plan – No Pads, No Helmets – Regretting the Past

No pads, no helmets…just regret. Rocked reviews the Simple Plan album.

About Rocked

Rocked!  A series that at least once a week will take a new album in the rock genre (everything from soft alternative to metal) under review so you can see if it's worth your time and money.


  1. No Pads, No Helmets, No Talent
    No Pads No Helmets, No Balls.

  2. No Pads, No Helmets, No. Just No.
    Anyways, great video as always, I totally forgot how much Simple Plan’s music was awful, this is seriously the most soulless and forgettable crap I’ve ever listened to. Listening to Simple Plan made me miss Limp Bizkit, at least they had some fucking energy.
    Just a suggestion for the next ”Regretting the Past” … I’m just gonna say it, Chinese Democracy would be a pretty good pick.

  3. back in the day, I was a fan of “I’m Just A Kid”. Why…..because I was a lonely teenager who had no friends and the line “I waited till 11 just to figure out that no one would call”. I related very much to that line.

    Of course now I see this music as nothing but disgustingly simple.

  4. Kinda surprised you didn’t bring Todd in the Shadows in for a crossover. He may be the one person on the planet who hates Simple Plan more than you :p

  5. MidnightScreeningsman2014

    I know that pan pizza(aka rebel taxi) is a fan of simple plan and I love how he makes fun of himself for it. Love the episode though I looked up the lyrics to that song I don’t wanna go to bed and after 48 seconds after they repeated I don’t wanna go to bed for the sixth time I was like*yeah they suck* and finally last and foremost thank you for putting my comment in this video your truly awesome and I was loving every second with horror guru and him being evil(I could totally believe that). Now next review……
    ANOTHER SIMPLE PLAN ALBUM THIS TIME IT BE STILL NOT GETTING ANY(and the whining Nd reviewing of simple plan albums will be complete HAHA!!!!
    No pads,no helmets no more not reviewing of a simple plan(thank god the horror guru is letting you do it next time HA!!!!

  6. Fruit Salad… YUMMY YUMMY

  7. It really is amazing how famous Simple Plan got when there were way, way better pop punk acts like Less Than Jake, Teenage Bottlerocket, Bill the Welder, The Lillingtons, and Descendents all out there waiting for hungry young minds to latch onto. Kinda like how the world of heavy metal is so vast and wonderful, yet people still inexplicably flock to trash like (post-Cowboys, non-Trendkill) Pantera and (all of) Volbeat.

  8. I was one of those kids that was the right angsty teenager age when this music was popular. It was on a fair bit, since, as I mentioned, the CRTC states that Canadian stations must play at least 40% Canadian content.

    I remember the 13 and 14 year old me relating to the songs like I’m Just a Kid and Perfect, being one of those who thought my life was oh so awful and that the world was against me. Even my family will tell me that I was pretty much a prick when I was 14 (one of my favourite songs at that age was Kelly Osbourne’s Shut Up and I listened to it pretty much every day if that tells you anything). In fact, I think I used so much angst at that age that I ran out by the time I hit high school.

    Looking back, yeah, their music was pretty whiny and was just a little angsty shit. I say this for this album and their following album …Still Not Getting Any (which you should review soon so that Horror Guru will let you out of your apartment). At least by 2008 their music seemed to have gotten past the whiny ‘poor me’ theme. Probably because they (or their record producers) realized that the angsty 13 and 14 year olds who were listening to that music were now either finishing up high school (like I was) or already off to college or university and therefore were no longer angsty teenagers.

    I have a few of Simple Plan’s songs on various mixed CDs (including the ones mentioned above) but was never enough into them to get one of their albums. The last song I remember hearing by them was Jet Lag and that was a few years ago. I just happened to see it playing on TV. I don’t really care what they’re doing now.

    While I don’t regret the past in terms of Simple Plan (though I do a little in terms of how much of an asshole I was at 14), I can definitely listen to their songs and think ‘what was I thinking?’

    I do have a couple of suggestions. Not many, but a couple. One is, of course, …Still Not Getting Any, as it continues the whining saga. I know you said ‘never’, but I’m sure you’ll get to it eventually. 😉

    Another one is Avril Lavigne’s album The Best Damn Thing. I know it’s more pop-rock, but hey, if you covered Limp Bizkit, I think Avril could fit in the genre. She was my favourite musician from about 2003-2007, coincidentally around the same time The Best Damn Thing came out. It wasn’t the album that changed my decision (though I didn’t like it as much as her first two), I just changed tastes. Looking back, some of the songs are kinda dumb and weakly written. Also, she was in her early 20s and still doing the whole anti-prep thing, like in her Girlfriend video. I can understand her doing that when she was 16, but not at 23.

    Wooh. Sorry for the long post. Guess I had a lot to say.

  9. Love this series!

    I was in my twenties when this was popular, and for many people there is this sort of weird period where you first realize that the music you were into that was popular during your youth and high school years is losing popularity, and you kind of cling to it and reject the “new” stuff that’s popular…some people never leave this phase, but people who are really into music will get beyond that and come back to appreciate new music with an even more open mind and greater respect for quality artists.

    Having said all that:

    I’m so glad my “rejection” phase was the Nu-Metal and pop-punk era of the early to mid 2000s. I know there was likely some really good stuff in there I missed out on, but it all runs together as the screamy, non-melodic stuff, or like the nasally teenage whiny Simple Plan kind of stuff.

    I remember one or two of these songs annoying me in the background of life back then, and I didn’t even know it was A Simple Plan…Now that I got a taste, it sounds like this whole album really does seem to run together with the guitar production being drab and monotone and the vocals really processed and oversampled to where there’s little raw emotion left.

  10. I wondered why I never got into Simple Plan, I thought it was just because they were boring.

    Now I know it’s because despite being in their target demographic…I couldn’t relate to them or even agree with their point of view. Despite being a white, middle-class girl, I knew that I had a life good despite having an alarm that woke me up at 6am…or in spite of it even, since it gave me the chance to have breakfast with my Dad in the morning.

  11. Yup, nothing says “balls” like a song called “God Must Hate me.” No pads, no helmets, no understanding of irony?

    I was in my twenties when this came out, so thank god I missed being its target demographic. I did own a Good Charlotte album, though. :/

  12. Honestly, if you were a fan of this band and you blame “being in it’s target demographic” you realize that just makes you a huge tool right?

    Like, I was in this bands target demographic, but I never was a fan or even close to one, because I knew right away they were fake ass punks, fake ass musicians, making fake ass music for fake ass people.

    When everyone in school listened to this, I was listening to Black Flag, Minor Threat, The Circle Jerks, Bad Brains, you know, real punk.

    Being in a target demographic is not an excuse. You had a choice, but you decided to be herded like all the other sheep.

  13. Hi! I was one of the teenage “black sheep” that came into possession of this album at some point in my teen years. Even then I knew it was 90% whiney, but sometimes you needed whiney (and anxi-y), especially if you were not one of the “cool kids” and had very few friends to hang with. Basically, for me, MS/HS was outcast central in a WASP town, i.e. anything different is SHUNNED at best. So yeah, whiney, but whiney is still somewhat better then some of the flappid empty-headed and soul-less club music we’re getting in every genera now.

    Now two things:
    The track “God Must Hate Me” is whiney, yes, but you missed the fact that the protagonist DIED in a car crash, and is whinnying about that specifically, and he just wants to go home, but can’t cause he is dead, and apparently IN Hell. The lyrics back me up on this:
    “But I crashed in a wall
    Man I’m dead”
    “I’m breaking down and you can’t save me
    I’m stuck in hell
    And I wanna go home”
    “And now my brain is bursting out of my head”

    Still whiney, but at least an attempt at being deep in their own little $hi! way.

    Also I really hate to bring this up, but you sort of missed a few tracks! Most of their “No Pad….” albums had Bonus Tracks on them! The American Release, and apparently the one I picked up, had a “Christmas” song, and it is as self-entitled and whiney as you think- a perfect sphere of condensed “everythingwrongwiththehoildayseasonandthefocusongimmyinsteadofgiveing”
    Bonus tracks:
    No. Title Length
    13. “One by One” (Australia, UK and Japan Bonus Track) 3:25
    14. “Grow Up” (Re-release/iTunes Bonus Track) 2:32
    15. “My Christmas List” (Hidden track after Grow Up in the US/Europe) 3:27
    16. “American Jesus (Live Cover Version)” (Hidden track in Europe/UK + enhanced CD track) 4:00

    *evil grin* Enjoy!

  14. I hope you’ll be covering “Chinese Democracy” by Guns N’ Roses.

  15. No Pants, No Talent, No Shit Given

  16. No Pads, No Helmets….. Just Virginity

Leave a Reply