Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – Chris Stuckmann

Chris Stuckmann reviews Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

About ChrisStuckmann

Quick, funny reviews of movies and games, new and old.


  1. Snorgatch Pandalume

    I don’t think anyone needs to fear that Star Wars fans are incapable of saying bad things about Star Wars movies . . . not if 17 years of incessant bitching about the prequels is any indication. (Yes, Doug, this means you.)
    Rogue One looks like a session of a typical Star Wars RPG, with the heroes involved in a B-plot that occasionally causes them to cross paths with one of the biggies (in this case, Vader).
    Unlike you, I didn’t think much of Episode 4.1: We’re Going to Cave In to the Whiny Fanboys and Give Them Exactly What They Want, Doing Nothing New and Taking No Risks. Say what you will about the prequels, but at least they tried not to be just retreads of the previous movies.
    Rogue One looks like more of the same. As in Episode 4 and 4.1, it’s pretty much just humans fighting the Empire, even though it treats aliens like second-class citizens. Apparently, aliens can’t stand up for themselves, so noble and generous humans have to do it for them. Yes, we do see some aliens, but it looks like they’re little more than window dressing. That was understandable for Episode 4, because it had a limited budget and special effects technology (it wasn’t until Episode 6 that we started seeing more aliens in significant roles). It’s less so for Episode 4.1 and Rogue One, which had neither restriction.
    Actually, I’m going to revise my earlier statement about Rogue One looking like a session of a SWRPG, because every SWRPG I’ve ever played in has been chock full of alien characters. The current game I’m in has eight characters, of which ONE (count ’em) is human. One of the main appeals of the SW universe is its diversity. The recent movies don’t seem to get that.

    • I think you’re being a tad unfair.

      Yes, these movies have a higher budget, but its still a limited one. Making original alien costumes along with makeup, and the right actors to place said costumes in is very very very expensive.
      The reason why the prequels had so many aliens, was because they were all CGI, which led a lot to bad acting as the actors were talking to nothing 90% of the time.

      • Snorgatch Pandalume

        Didn’t seem to hurt Guardians of the Galaxy, the best Star Wars movie since Return of the Jedi. Maybe it just requires having actors who can act and a director who can direct. Also, a decent story and dialogue are a big help.

        • So Humans in Green, Blue, and Grey paint are fine you…okay. The reason the Non-Humans are not a bigger part of the rebellion is the same reason you didn’t see a lot of Jews, or Gypsies in the Maquis. its kinda hard to rise up when just existing is grounds for enslavement(if your a lucky one). Another aspect is why you didn’t see a huge slave uprising in the South during the American Civil War, they didn’t trust that the other whites would keep their word and free them IF they won.

          • What does any of that historical context have to do with a movie production?

          • Snorgatch Pandalume

            Funny, none of the aliens in Mos Eisley seemed to be slaves, or even especially persecuted, even though the place was crawling with Imperial stormtroopers. Jabba the Hutt certainly didn’t act like a slave.

          • Those Aliens in Mos Eisley Space Port were Criminals, Outlaws, Exiles and YES Slaves! Slaves of JABBA! The Hutts have their own criminal Empire that up to that point the actual Galactic Empire had ignored, Without the Rebellion however eventually the Empire would have got around to the Hutts too.
            Rodians {Greedo’s Race} = Enslaved by the Empire, Greedo’s family were refugees, He fell in with the Hutts.
            Twi’lek’s = Enslaved by both the Empire and the Hutts – Yes Bib Fortuna was a Slave of Jabba!

            The Empire would work with aliens IF those aliens had something the Empire wanted and it wasn’t worth the Empire’s effort to just take it.
            Bossk the Trandoshan Bounty Hunter – Darth Vader was willing to pay him to find Luke even though Admiral Piett was extremely unhappy to be working with Alien Bounty Hunter Trash.

            P.S. There should be NO Rodians, Wookies, Ewoks, Twi’lek’s, Mon Calamari or any of a number of other races in SW:ToR because those races were all NON-SPACEFARING Prior to the Empire Conquering them in the decades BETWEEN the Clone Wars and A New Hope! {I hate that Game!}.

          • Again, what does this have to do with how a movie is produced with a limited budget?

          • Snorgatch Pandalume

            And what exactly do you suppose it is that makes up the ranks of a rebellion? Criminals, Outlaws, Exiles, and YES Escaped Slaves! As Bob Dylan said: “When you ain’t got nothin’, you got nothin’ to lose.” You’re making an argument for why the Rebellion should be composed primarily of aliens, instead of the one race the Empire DOESN’T hate.

  2. I’m going to see this this weekend. I think I’ll like it fine despite the fact that I’m not a fan of realistic movies per se.

  3. I’m actually rather reassured by your bitching about the lack of Vader. I realize that given the setting of the Death Star shortly before the start of Ep. IV Vader’s presence had to be in some way acknowledged, but if this isn’t a main story arc movie I don’t WANT him making any more than a brief cameo appearance. Likewise, I don’t think it’s any huge brainteaser to guess what other character you were talking about that Ep. IV suggests must be on the scene & that can now only be done as a CGI creation. In fact I’m not even that surprised he gets more screen time than Vader as it would be even harder to explain away his absence. I had thought they’d maybe restrict his appearances to those janky looking Ep. IV era hologram conference calls so we wouldn’t all be studying his face looking for that uncanny valley effect, but I guess not. Hope it stands up to the IMAX screen I’ll be seeing it on tomorrow.

  4. I hope a new one comes out next week too. You can never get too much of a good thing! Ask a goose!

  5. I agree with and disagree with a lot you’ve said here.
    That CG character was horrible (like you said) – but I don’t see the necessity myself. (Flaregun, I think you’re right about who it is, and it doesn’t stand up to a normal screen. I hate to imagine IMax.)
    I didn’t feel the need for more Vader, since I’ve always thought of this as a side movie – so of course it doesn’t focus on the characters we already know. But I do agree, they should’ve replaced most of CG guy’s scenes with Vader.

    I thought the friendship between those two was because they’d both been guardians of a Force temple. That’s what I got anyway.

    Most of the characters were perfunctory, though, as you said. I did like Jyn, though, and Alan Tudyk, (the droid) of course.

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