The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) – Nostalgia Critic

Here it is, after years of requests, we’re finally watching the WORST of the animated Titanic musicals, Tentacolino! Note we did have some audio issues with this recording. Sorry!

Donate to this week’s Charity!

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

141 comments

  1. Wait, I can’t watch it for free? WTH?!

  2. Now we need to acknowledge the fact that an ANIMATED TITANIC TRILOGY now exists. All with talking animals.

    Way to honor a century old tradgedy. At least James Cameron made us feel some sympathy for the ship and people who died.

    Iceberg dead ahead.

  3. So, uhm, sorry, but who’s the woman in the room with Dante Basco, Brad Jones, and James Rolfe? I feel like I should recognize her but I don’t 🙁

  4. I’m going to need to drink a double scotch, just to get past the first 5 mins.

  5. No rapping dog? Too bad Poochy died on the way back to his home planet.

  6. Now that we have the review to prove that the rapping sharks, clams and singing toy fish do exist in this film, I’m now laughing at the person who thumbsed down every single comment saying these were in the film as if to imply that they weren’t.

  7. do you have any plans on dointg James Cameron’s Titanic

  8. The bad guy looks like Mr Rooney from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

  9. This review from start to finish was hilarious. I hate to use this as a joke, but I have a feeling that realizing Doug had to review yet another animated Titanic movie is what got him sick in the first place. All jokes aside, I’m glad you are feeling better Doug and I can’t wait for the Rocky and Bullwinkle review whenever that comes out.

    • May have to be waiting a little longer than you thought. If you didn’t know Doug’s mom died last week, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we go a couple of weeks without anything new from the NC. The only reason that we got this was that it was already done and out on Vessel last Tuesday.

  10. Wait, if they stayed on the island forever -plus they are now immortal- how was the mouse an elder living with his family in the first movie… oh yeah, i forgot: who cares, the movie is over.

    • Wait where are you going the movie isn’t over yet! Don’t you want to know what happened to everyone? Wait that was the other movie.

    • My best guess is that everyone except for the mouse actually died on the ship and this is their horrific nightmare-fueled journey through Doggy Hell…. Complete with confirmation that, yes, Doggy Hell ACTUALLY is a freaking thing!

  11. “I hate yellow! I can’t stand it!”

    That’s why you’re wearing an outfit with yellow on it…

  12. It’s kind of funny how even if you ignore the fact that this insults the victims of the sinking it’s still a morally horrid piece where the “good guys” are basically a totalitarian regime willing to resort to duplicity and cohersion.

    Did you know it was animated in North Korea?

  13. Oh, *this* is the one that put the idea of Doggy Hell in kids’ minds? Wasn’t there a certain animator from the ’80s you were working with who was responsible for that one…?

    • Yeah I didn’t realize thats what it was when I first saw it it wasn’t until I watched again as an adult that I realized Charlie was in danger of Hell. Creepy stuff and then of course there was the sequel where the devil captured all the angels…

      Which might be a good review for you to do Critic 😀

  14. Also notable for being one of the few films with evil clams (they’re the shark’s backup singers)

  15. I will have to catch this tomorrow on youtube because vessel not loading for me. I did want to say glad he finally doing tentacolino aka search for the titanic. One of the worst animated films ever. So bad you can’t find this even on youtube. You used to at least could find the other two easy. Original titanic animated review what brought me to the site about 5 years ago.

    • I used to have no problems with the screenwave player and vessel worked for the first couple of weeks, but now it barely works on any computer or phone I try it on, so I’m also in the YouTube waiting line.

    • You should watch the videos on the Vessel website. It always works for me. This site has too many ads and things running in the background. It slows the player down to a crawl.

  16. Maybe they outlawed philipshead screwdrivers, that one is a flathead.

    People should just go see Maury Yeston’s musical, Titanic, instead.

    Honestly, the only way I’d sign up for early access is if one of the rewards meant I could suggest some movies for review. Other than The Monster Squad, NG hasn’t reviewed anything I’m actually nostalgic about. And there’s a ton of classic horror movies I’d love to see reviewed either by him, Jackula, Guru, Snob, or see on Tamara’s Never Seen.

    • Banning screwdrivers? It makes no sense! It’s like cracking down on chewing gum without a subscription (by the way, that’s actually a real law)! It just sounds so dumb and incompetent!

  17. So, apparently hallucinogenic drugs work in Italy just like they work in any other countries.
    Or really bad translators. Those are universal.

  18. This made my day, great to see you’re back Critic, hope you’re feeling much better.
    This movie oh my god, I watched a couple of reviews but they were way too brief, you went into just enough detail to show how insane this is. My mouth just kept opening and closing throughout the review, rather like yours. The counsellor song was just terrifying, for his voice mostly, and you’ll probably need counselling after watching that. When I saw the screwdriver next to him I wanted it to dismantle him and free us from this torment, oh nooo the counsellor will die if he’s dismantled oh no I feel so sad, who the hell cares.
    Seriously, if little kids watched this I reckon they’d need to see someone about it

  19. All Dogs Go to Hell

  20. All you have to do is win.

  21. I’m kind of glad this is a sequel, because the notion of three different Italian studios producing an animated Titanic movie each would be just shocking. But on the other hand, what the living fuck did I just watch?!

  22. I’m not surprised there’s nothing new on vessel considering that his mother died recently

  23. “I hate yellow!”
    What are you, a Green Lantern?
    Then again, they ARE green for some reason… Which just makes me wonder if the sharks are just rejected Powerpuff Girl villains.
    I keep expecting Mojo Jojo and the Ganggreen Gang to pop up and shout: “FISH STOLE MY LOOK!”

    This whole movie is giving me Phelous flashbacks; who else is reminded of “Magical Gift of the Snowman”.

    Personally, I kind of like that dolly with a tough guy voice. It actually got a laugh out of me. Maybe because it reminds me of Akane from Kampfer Abridged, in that you had a teenage girl with the voice of a gruff, east European old man.

    In short, it’s really, really, really sad when you make straight-to-video animated Disney sequels look taught and well-executed by comparison.

  24. As you said 5 years ago when you reviewed the last movie, “…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

    Even though it’s been 7 years since you reviewed Titanic: The Legend Goes On, I still cannot believe that some assholes decided to make animated family films based on the sinking of the Titanic. And we had a Saturday morning animated show based on the Rambo films.

    Jesus Christ, not another rap song! And a rave song to go with it!? …The writers know which decade this thing is taking place in, right?

    I already know in my heart that the upcoming Aquaman movie will not be a juvenile as this shit.

    I agree with Matt Damon from The Departed here, especially for the whole screwdriver thing.

    My response to the questions about the mice wanting to join forces with the sharks to take over the world (Of course): “It just raises too many questions.”

    I never thought I’d see a dollar store version of Raggedy Ann with the voice of a dude.

    I really, REALLY hope that the makers of all three of these movies have a special place in Hell waiting for them. These people are worst than Cal from the James Cameron film, which is still really damn good.

  25. Is there anyway you can review the Japanese versions of Ironman, Wolverine, X-men and Blade?

    Can you also talk about the MTV series Good Vibes and Daria?

    And on a side note, I mention this all before, why don’t you review a classic horror like this one I’ve finally found after all these years after just seeing a few scenes of it and never knowing how it ended. It’s called Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. You might like it. Maybe.

    Also what do think of these TV series shows called:
    John Doe
    Forever Knight
    The Misfits (British Show)
    Misfits of Science (Movie and series)
    and The Zeta Project
    (I think some of these shows are like Sonic the Hedgehog a.k.a. Sonic Sat a.m. They all have incomplete ending.)

    P.S. Is there anyway you can review the Japanese versions of Ironman, Wolverine, X-men and Blade? I’d also really like to hear what you think about the FX series Archer and Chozen.

    P.S.S. And I never found out if you were going talk more about the Disney Afternoon shows Gummi Bears, Chip N Dale’s Rescue Rangers, Talespin(even the hour uncut movie special I found about it) and Darkwing Duck. Also you never answer my question, If you hate the Goof Troop song: “Gotta Be Gettin’ Goofy” then does that mean you hate The Darkwing Duck Rap?

    • You already asked all of that a couple of weeks ago. Literally all of that! Do you have this one post saved on your hard drive and then just copy and paste it here every few weeks? You really don’t anything else to occupy your time? That’s both funny and sad at the same time.

      What do you mean “Talk more about The Disney Afternoon Shows”? What else is there for Doug to talk about?

      Again, YOU could review all of those shows yourself instead of begging Doug to do them. You clearly have an opinion on these movies and TV shows, so why not review them yourself?

      Do you have anything to say about the actual video or do you just come here to make your sad fanboy requests?

    • I LIKED the X-Men and Blade ones! HATED the Wolverine and Iron Man!

  26. TheMysteriousMrEnter already reviewed this. Have you heard of him? You probably did it better. I still didn’t quite find this as funny as the other two reviews. May your mom RIP. No Rocky and Bullwinkle next week?

    You said you wouldn’t review this. There’s hope for Viva Rock Vegas!

    • On the one hand, I’m glad you gave condolences for their late mother.

      On the other, I’m mildly off-put by the way you just slotted it into the middle of your comment as an afterthought.

    • I love how after the sphere they’re in starts breaking, Mr.Enter cuts to a black screen and he’s just like “And then captain planet showed up in a chariot pulled by pink and blue sea ponies and took them to the magical city of Atlantis”. And then he just showed the clip from the movie where that ACTUALLY happens, lol!

  27. It honestly looks better than the last one.

  28. The NC and his crew can afford a planet worth of jaegermeister and a spaceship but he can’t afford to pay his crew a decent wage without threatening them? Or effects better than you’d see at a local car commercial?

  29. 9:58 – You mean not all dogs go to heaven? DON BLUTH LIED TO US!!

    • Well if you watched the movie you’d see that it is possible for them to go to hell if they try to come back from death. So maybe that dog died on the boat but when the octopus put it back together he was forced back so now he knows he’s going to… damn I’ve never been high in my life but I’m pretty sure that’s what its like…

  30. “This is a secret island. No one can reach it. Except for, you know, us. With a traditional boat.”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.