The Cinema Snob: The Crippled Avengers

The Cinema Snob returns with a tale of revenge and steel hands!

About thecinemasnob

Brad Jones portrays The Cinema Snob, a pretentious film snob who is stuck with reviewing Z-Grade exploitation flicks of the past. I'm a big guy. For you.

24 comments

  1. You realize you’re now obligated to review Poltron, right? You can’t just dig up a movie called “Poltron” and just leave that lying.

  2. Oh my god, almost all of the characters have the exact same hair style, sideburns and topknot. That’s so irritating.

    You know, this should’ve been a crossover with a blaxploitation movie. It could be called “Power Man and Iron Fist”…. wait, that sounds familiar.

    • So it wasn’t just me having a hard time telling all the characters apart huh?

    • I think half of them are sexy, as they fulfill my “dude look like a lady” fetish that in no way implies I may be a closet lesbian.

      You’ll have to excuse my Prosopagnosia, but when I see an Asian man with a mustache, he looks Latino to me. If it makes you feel any better, I thought Tom Selleck & Burt Reynolds were the same person.

  3. I’m incredibly confused as to the reason that they showed the villain family being chopped up at the start.

    So the bad guy is a dick for crippling people for making fun of him, but we’re not supposed to feel sympathy for him for being chopped up as a child? And I guess we’re supposed to feel sympathy with the dickwads who were making fun of him for surviving a horrible attack on his life as a child? What?

  4. This is one of my shaw brothers favorites featuring the “venoms” the 6 core actors of five deadly venoms and the following chang cheh directed films with them.

    Really Chen Kuan Tai is the father, he is a hero who the three tigers punish by crippling his son and wife who dies. Then he is twisted whenever insult is thrown to his son or any mention of crippled traits. His son is cruel and sick and his “daddy” lets him get his twisted way and becomes more and more of a town villain while to the world he is still seen as a martial arts hero (hence his big birthday celebration at end etc).

    Phillip kwok is blinded due to saying something about the blacksmith seeing clearly that they are bullies and the son jumps down says ssome line about how can you see if you are blind, blinds him, blacksmith said bad stuff, got the hearing and voice, the shopworker got it for bumping into him after saying I have legs i’m not a cripple who can’t find work to the boss firing him, son gets mad, daddy lets him have his legs chopped off. Then the hero hears about the stuff coming into town, tries to kill the baddies who are delusional when he calls them evil etc. THey proceed to wipe his memory of the encounter keeping the secret safe without killing him plus filling their sick karmatic justice he thinks others deserve unlike his son who was crippled and did not deserve it and is still better at kung fu than most men as a cripple.

  5. Moviemantweeter1999

    Laughed a lot during this one good review Brad and that was a good joke since the last day of April so nice April fools joke of 2015. Also don’t you dare trick me again you dirty conniving fiend.

  6. Oh yeah to the fans and if the Cinema Snob reads this, I was just trying to clarify things to the poster above. Maybe clarify a few things coasted over in the review like the two guys who showed their hands got slapped, the blinded guy was seated behind and was blinded after the blacksmith made a comment.

    But in no way was I insulting the review. I was laughing as usual and happy to see a shaw brothers movie reviewed.

  7. Loved the review, but does this mean the Bros are no more? You can do that to me, BRO!!!

  8. SomeJerkFromBoston

    I am so happy you reviewed this movie. I saw it during a Kung-Fu midnight matinee when I was in my early 20s. The only way I could buy my own copy was to hunt down a VHS version released by the Wu-Tang Clan. I’m not even fucking kidding.

  9. flashbacks to saturday afternoons on channel 5… good times…

  10. “nice handjob” …OK…

  11. he’s rendered dumb… except for his ability to speak english

  12. Now THIS is what I’m talking about.

  13. Haven’t seen this in a while. Never could resist anything with action, bad special effects, & Han dynasty clothing.

  14. Awesome movie.

  15. Anyone else feel like the Cinema Snob should review Poultron? I know I do.

  16. Poltron means Yes man in Serbian (Its a Serbian/Yugoslav film)

  17. SailorRustyBacon

    How is it that I can laugh & feel bad at the same time, by ignored Kung Tai Ted & crying Bro? XD

    And if Charles Bronson got side-tracked and started raping in his rape-revenge flick, would it be interrupted by the parents of Last House on the Left? Also, I hope Snob reviews Edward Penishands 😀

  18. Here’s hoping he does at least one of the three Crippled Masters movies someday, and don’t spare the Master Blaster jokes.

  19. Aww, why’d they have to kill dumb guy? He was the cutest one of the bunch. 😛

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