The WEIRDEST Jack and the Beanstalk

Everyone knows the fairy tale, but this is as creepy crazy you can go with such a simple story.

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

131 comments

  1. MidnightScreeningsman2014

    Yeah pretty creepy for a jack and the beanstalk thing

  2. prime-10@hotmail.co.uk

    I’ve never even heard of this. Can you please review that animated Snow White movie from the late 80’s or early 90’s. The one that had Malcolm McDowell.

  3. Okay then, chalk this movie up for unofficially being a mindfuck. I mean, what the hell is with the wedding scene? I feel Paper Mario was put in green jello and added more shrooms for that.

  4. And I thought the made-for-TV live-action versions were crazy.

  5. What? No charity shout out this week?

  6. Okay Disney, your move.

  7. I actually have a fondness for this, in the way it adds to the original story, with the witch taking over the kingdom. It’s a nice way to pad it out to a full movie without actually dragging it out. But, yeah, the tonal shifts can be jarring. As far as the wedding scene, I assumed that we were looking at it kind of from the perspective of the princess within the enchantment she was under, hence the psychedelic elements. The paper cut-outs just formed the basis on which Hecuba placed her magic, so that the princess would see them as real people.

    • thats a good point. The colors, the waving animation, it all looks like from the eyes of someone in a trance, unable to form a solid though. And the colors go back to normal when Jack interrupts. This scene was what kept this movie in my memory for over 10 years (yea, I kinda lost the movie over 15 years ago, then 10 years later I remembered I could download it with Torrent to re-watch, heh)

    • That was my immediate thought.

      Cleary we’re viewing this from the Princess’ spell clouded mind where the elements seem vague and fleeting but real enough to her.

    • Old_Painty_Cans_Ned

      And at least this version shows that the Giant actually is evil and deserving of his ultimate fate. I mean the original Jack and the Beanstalk is really just a glorified tale of home invation. In the original a child climbs a magic beanstock where he encounters a very large man who has been living among the clouds and minding his own business. Jack then proceeds to rob and murder this large man without any justifiable cause. Seriously, what did this giant ever do to anybody? In the origional Jack and the Beanstalk I don’t remember there being any mention of a giant ravaging the countryside or anything like that. In fact prior to Jack climbing the beanstalk there is no indication that the people even believed in giants.

  8. Okay… Interesting review, but… What the hell?!

  9. OMG this movie was my childhood xD 100% guilty pleasure here, but I still liked this movie so much for it’s WTF-ness thats…kind of original. And I found the musics kinda catchy, the first one have bland, Newman-esque lysics, but the instrumental was great. And I actualy downloaded the movie to watch it again when it struck me I had the internet to do so after so many years, and…it still held up to me. And I liked how the dansel in distress had a SOLID EXCUSE to be defenseless.

  10. Ok I am going to chalk this up to weird dubbing but even then I think the Japanese version would be just as confusing.

    Also no skits? Are we back to classic Nostalgia Critic or are Malcolm, Tamara, and the others taking a break?

  11. Wow, freaking Princess Uncanny Valley. That chick needs to be studied.

  12. ok. but why does it cost $300? just, what? is it really THAT in demand?

    • Probably not. I’m sure it’s rare, but the price is (likely) based on wishful thinking rather than demand.
      For example, I’ve had books that are HtF and the prices for them on eBay, Amazon and AbeBooks are in the hundreds of dollars. I offer one on eBay for $40 OBO and still can’t sell it. This DVD likely isn’t any different.

    • So glad I found a copy one Amazon that was only $70. That’s still expensive for a DVD, but it’s a blessing compared to the options now.

    • It will probably be cheaper if Discotek licenses it like some of the other anime titles that Columbia released on VHS in the 1980’s.

      BTW, did you know that Jack’s Japanese voice actor is also the Japanese voice of Mewtwo?

  13. The first adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk I watched as a kid was the Mickey Mouse version, and I thankfully never came across this one, or even heard of it until now. This version is almost as weird as the Felix the Cat movie you reviewed in late 2011. If you were to put this film in your Top 11 Mindfucks list today, you’d probably put in in the #? (12) spot.

    • At least the Disney version also came up with a reason to justify stealing from and cutting the beanstalk out from under the giant (and even then, they didn’t kill him off). He stole a singing harp that helped the land prosper so she could sing him to sleep, and without her, the entire countryside wilted and starved. Certainly a more heroic story for good ol’ Mickey, Goofy, and Donald.

  14. *does research on Google*
    This wasn’t animated by Toei Animation? Interestingly enough, Toei does have an adaptation that precedes this, and that also has a witch in it.

  15. Somehow I’m a bit amazed to realize that I actually saw this as a kid… And I didn’t find it strange. Maybe because it was in Russian and the dub was voiced by much better actors…

  16. Weird and crazy: As expected from the Japanese.

  17. I usually skip every other week since I’m not a huge fan of NC editorials so it was incredibly enjoyable to unexpectedly stumble upon a simple, good, old-fashioned style review I was addicted to back in 2008. Thanks Doug, I know you may be sick of this format, but this is truly what you do best.

  18. Japan is weird, nuff said.

  19. I’ve never heard of this before. Also, I get spanking your kid but why did they focus on it for so long and with no music?! O.O Anyways, this was hilarious. One last thing: An old-school review? Heck yeah. ^.^

  20. A lot of kids grew up with this? I never heard of it at all. This was an editorial? It was a Nostalgia Critic review! Well, I guess that just adds to the weirdness. Glad I don’t order things from Amazon.

  21. Yeah, I was thrilled when I saw that you were talking about THIS one. I remember seeing it when I was really young, like SIX years old and thought it was childish. I will give it props for putting a new spin on the Jack and the Beanstalk story, just the execution was weak.

  22. Who in the flying fuck would pay $300 bucks for this?

  23. I think the Amazon.com joke at the end was my favorite. because yeah…it’s kind of funny many reviewers on this site will not say “oh yeah good luck trying to find a way to watch this since it costs two arms and two legs for one copy” for even really crappy films or shows.

  24. I am assuming a mental patient wrote this while high on LSD.

  25. Devil's Advocate

    I enjoyed most of the video and I sort of get where you were coming from with the spanking scene but why did you top it off with that joke? not all spanking is child abuse. I’m gonna say it, I was spanked as a kid and am not an asshole who sees violence as the answer to all problems.

    • Yeah, it’s like this was sort of comedy review or something!

      Thanks for sharing, btw.

    • The Real Silverstar

      “I’m gonna say it,”

      We wish you wouldn’t.

      “I was spanked as a kid and am not an asshole who sees violence as the answer to all problems.”

      Judging by how turned out, I just figured you must’ve been dropped on your head…for an entire day.

      • Devil's Advocate

        I am thinking it might have been a joke but jokes can have a point to them.

        and he said it was common yet called it child abuse.

        • You know as much about comedy as a Kentucky corn fed pig knows about the Italian renaissance. Who are you to judge what is or isn’t funny? You lecturing someone else about jokes is like taking relationship advice from an thrice divorced marriage counselor. Stick to whining about heart and emotional moments and leave the comedy to the people who understand and appreciate it.

      • Devil's Advocate

        though, I suppose spanking can be classed as child abuses, I just take issue with that being said as an absolute.

        • This isn’t an exaggeration in the slightest; I legitimately feel sorry for people like you. What a sad, empty life you must lead to live in a world completely devoid of jokes, humor or levity, you must truly be an unhappy person.

  26. 5:48 That guys mouth looks like a vagina. The priests mouth looks like a vagina. What the actual fuck?

  27. Huh, this was presented just like a classic NC review, no sketches or anything. That’s probably more surprising than the fact that you’re actually reviewing this of all films. (Though I am slightly disappointed you didn’t once bring up Jack’s Japanese singing voice and how he sounds nothing like a child in that version)

  28. You know, suddenly I miss the old “Grimm’s Fairy Tale Classics” anime they used to run on Nickelodeon.

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