Transformers: Dark of the Moon – Chris Stuckmann

Chris Stuckmann reviews Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

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About ChrisStuckmann

Quick, funny reviews of movies and games, new and old.

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12 Comments on "Transformers: Dark of the Moon – Chris Stuckmann"

TragicGuineaPig
Guest
I agree with you about the whole mundane life thing with Sam. This kid has fought alongside the Autobots against the Decepticons; if they’re going to feature him in the film at all, why have him just be some mundane kid still? Why not have him working with the Autobots on a regular basis? Or with the government trying to track down Decepticons? From a narrative perspective, this character has already been through too much of the action to simply slink off to the sidelines and try to live a typical mundane life. You just know – as he should… Read more »
Chicken Puppet
Guest
Sam in these movies is an audience avatar/wish fulfillment for the 8-14 year old demographic these movies are aimed at. That’s why he’s written the way he is. Also, these films must assume much of their audience is new to the franchise based on target audience age, and they have to be simple for the foreign market that may not have seen previous entries, so they hit a “reset” button on Sam every time. It’s also easier and lazier just to repeat his same character arc in every film: 1) he’s a teenage derp with problems 2) he tries to… Read more »
Rezro
Guest

Well.. d’oh! Captain obvious O_O

But it should be that way? No..

TragicGuineaPig
Guest

Exactly! I don’t care WHY they did it this way; I’m saying that they shouldn’t, and instead saying how they SHOULD have done it.

Chicken Puppet
Guest

Well, General Agreement, sir…I couldn’t agree more by generally…agreeing.

I’m not trying to justify this crap, I’m spelling out the cynical reasoning behind it.

happymel
Guest

Okay, your picture made me laugh so much. Anyways, this is my second favorite Transformers movie. Plus, I like the addition of Rosie Huntington-Whitley. Her corny acting adds to the corny fun. The humor was better in this movie than the second movie. The action scenes were awesome. That’s all I ask from these movies. Just entertain me and only make me roll my eyes a few times.

ladydiskette
Guest

I think this movie nearly broke Chris Stuckmann’s mind.

Chicken Puppet
Guest

Why does it sound like even when Chris wants to say these movies are okay, it comes piled on top of a ton of apologies and conditions? None of these have been good.

They’re expensive, glossy, empty, kids movies with sexy adult women playing the role of “teenage girlfriend” to audience avatar Sam…even if Sam is supposed to be an adult in this film, he’s still written as a fantasy fulfillment stand-in for young teen males.

Once you understand how manipulative and crass these are, it’s hard to even look at them critically as art.

TragicGuineaPig
Guest
And yet, that’s how a reviewer is supposed to look at things: critically as art. I will admit: Chris tends to rate things higher than I do. But in an internet environment where the dominant style is the negative review – where everybody seems to hate everything – it’s nice to have a balancing opinion. Someone to highlight the good, even when we all know it’s terrible. Me, I decided not to watch any of the Bayformers films after 2; 2 was so nausiatingly irritating to me, that I essentially swore not to give the franchise another dime of my… Read more »
Santiago Rivas
Guest

Now I’m imagining you going one-on-one with Brad Jones about this film given how…let’s say evisceration is too light a word to describe his take on Dark of the Moon.

Dechha1981
Guest
I don’t understand why everyone shits on Transformers 3. Transformers 1 had way too much shaky cam and took way to long to introduce Optimus Prime. Transformers 2 had Skids & Mudflap. But #3? #3 has actions scenes where you can actually see what the hell is going on. And I actually like that there’s an evil Sam. he *claims* to be a slave, but in fact the Decepticons respect him enough that some of them actually obey his orders and he fights Sam even when there’s no robots immediately present. And Lazerbeak is greepy as hell. Is it gonna… Read more »
TragicGuineaPig
Guest
I can understand why the first film took as long as it did to introduce the other Transformers: the film has to take us – the audience – from the mundane world and bring us into the conflict between the Autobots and Decepticons. Sam serves as the audience surrogate for that, and so we learn about the Transformers as he learns about them. But by the second film, we no longer really need him to serve as audience surrogate anymore. We’re already on board with the conflict and don’t need to be convinced. In truth, I personally feel like Sam’s… Read more »
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