Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review

Nostalgia Critic wants to try something different this time around. Can he predict what happens in a Transformers movie WITHOUT actually seeing it?

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About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

105 comments

  1. Well, if Weird Al can almost 100% correctly predict a Star Wars movie and put it into an amazing song parody without having seen it first, I don’t see why THIS can’t work, too! Nice work, Doug.

  2. Should have called the Bum ‘©rikey ©amron’

  3. However bad the live-action TF movies are they’re still better than the Twilight movies.

  4. Were you right? I’ll never know, I’m not gonna see it.

    • Haven’t seen a single Transformer movie since the first one. There’s better mindless dumb fun like Kung Pow or Harold & Kumar,

      • Me neither. I personally just got a lot of Godzilla movies on DVD instead. Mindless fun sure but Toho’s monsters have way more charm then any of Bay’s version of the Transformers.

    • I haven’t seen a Bay TRANSFORMERS movie since REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. I wouldn’t give a dime to Bay’s stupidity for ANYTHING.

  5. “If the movie stinks, just don’t go.”

  6. 1st your broke your own rule and reviewed something in theater or gonna be in theaters

    2. You said your own name wrong at 12:41

  7. Said your name wrong at the end

  8. It is too true that the Transformers movies have been a rehash of the same crap and I did love this non-review review because we, as the audience, need to vote with our money better. We are the ones who can control whether or not a sequel happens. FanFOURstic sucked and because of the fans, no sequel (thank god). So do the right thing and not see these garbage films.

  9. You should play the Transformer’s games War for/Fall of Cybertron. They good and much better than the movies.

  10. Critic Go Fuck your self ITS AUTOBOTS WAGE THERE BATTLE TO DISTORY THE EVIL FORCES OF THE DEPICTIONS

    • Oh come on! You’re still going to on with this, even after he explained in his editorial about bad sequels that not offering anything new is a problem with more sequels than just the Transformers movies? Yes, Autobots fighting Decepticons is a core part of the series, but that doesn’t excuse doing the same thing over and over! Just about every other version of the franchise offers something new as the series goes on. For example, in the comics right now, Starscream is now the ruler of Cybertron, Megatron is now an Autobot, and Optimus Prime has annexed Earth without their consent. Have the movies ever offered anything original like that? No!
      Yes, a franchise always has a core formula, but that doesn’t excuse not adding original ideas to it.

      • Technically movies also has some original ideas.. but usually due to lazies and ignoring core of the lore, not because they deliberately plan twist the formula. As such they are way more shitty..

    • 1. Language.
      2. The first half of Generation One also did the same thing over and over.

    • The Real Silverstar

      I love it. You type in all caps, which is the online equivalent to shouting, about the Critic supposedly being erroneous, and while doing so you misspell a word (no ‘i’ in ‘destroy’) and use 2 more incorrectly (should be ‘their’ not ‘there’ and ‘Depictions’ aren’t the same as ‘Decepticons’). The irony here is so delicious it must be fattening.

  11. Blaze The Movie Fan

    The sad part is you’re likely right.

    But the worst part is most of these repeated things were never good to begin with, so it got tiring immediately.

  12. So now has anybody actually seen this movie and can confirm if Doug’s predictions were all true?

  13. I’m sorry, Doug, but whenever you bring up the topic of the Transfomers movies, all I hear from you is your impression of Robin from Batman & Robin. Just like what you claim the movies are doing, you complain about the same thing over and over. I’m a fan of this series, because it’s a live action take on the Transformers, which I’ve always wanted to see since I was a kid. I even love the ideas they got from the original Generation 1 series that they put into the plot of the movies, along with ideas from other Transformers shows like Beast Wars and The Unicron Trilogy. Also, it would be nice if you would cut down on the whole Michael Bay anger a bit. It’s just movies, not politics. I know this comment will get downvoted and people will reply to just call me an asshole for having an opinion, but these are just my thoughts, and I like to think positive. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna start watching the first 4 movies in preparation for The Last Knight.

  14. True, the movie might be the same shit, but I ain’t gonna watch it due to the annoying ass tomboy girl. Sorry, honey but the girl from Logan didn’t talk almost the whole movie and she proved a better bad ass than you!

  15. The only thing this movie has going for it is that it’s going to have Unicron. It’s always interesting what writers do with him, but I don’t believe that Bay WILL do anything with him.

    • I have sick hope that the mispronounce it as “Unicorn” 😀

      And yes.. even if it would have “devourer of the planets” I’m almost sure that they don’t make anything special with him.. when Unicron always have important role in relation to Earth (it is where he was spited in most universes and that is why it is so important place for Cybertronian).

  16. Thank you so much for making this video Doug! Those are my thoughts 100%! Have you been seeing my posts and comments on Transformers groups and pages? I hope people finally listen to you. It’s been 10 years.

  17. NC is right. If I’m going to be in a smelly theater and pay over $20 for a ticket, a bag of stale popcorn and an over-sized drink with the expectation of sitting in a seat that wouldn’t compare to the level of comfort of the one that I have at home for about 3 hours, then at least I should be watching something that’s worth while.

  18. And of course the Captain America is gonna become a nazi and…
    Oh, wait.

  19. Anyone notice this video’s length is 13:37? ^^

  20. Wow these movies suck.

  21. GOD how I want this movie to be a Box Office bomb for a change! It truly would restore a lot of my faith in humanity.

    • You people are a bunch of hate mongers.

      • TheSuicidalTeddybear

        “Mongers”? Yeah, you’re right. Every person who doesn’t like Michael Bay MUST hate every movie they watch. Cause you know: It’s not like every fan of Michael Bay lack any clue of what real film making is…
        *Sarcasm*

      • The Bayformers series deserves all the hate it gets because it gives the same pile of crap that’s been done over and over again in the same damn series. It’s not like the MCU films where lots of good stuff and a few truly awful stuff.

        Yes, the MCU films are superhero films, which follow a formula; however, they at least put some new things into it, like the Ironman vs Hulk fight in AoU.

  22. You forgot at least one Michael Bay trope/cliche: The movie doesn’t take place on Earth but on Planet Magic Hour. There’ll be countless scenes taking place either during sunrise or sunset even if the following or preceding scene took/takes place in full-light or full-dark without any meaningful time jump.

    This movie looks dumb as shit but, sadly, I like to torture myself and can get a kick out of seeing bad movies so I will likely go see this just so I can, with honesty, bitch about it. (That’s why I saw the Twilight movies.) But I think you’ve mostly nailed most the key story elements in the movie and I’ll be surprised if you even slightly wrong.

    A movie with the Transformers taking place entirely in Medieval times, thought, would be pretty awesome.

  23. I would say now people have to see the movie just to see if you were right or wrong, but that’s why Wikipedia was invented.

    I’d say the one thing you left out is product placement and American flags, but other than that spot on. And that’s why I won’t see it. I think at this point Bay is purposely putting out the same thing over and over because he knows we’re foolish enough to think he might try something different. Ever since your last Transformers review I made a personal vow never to pay to watch his stuff again. So far I’ve only been able to live up to that vow for his Ninja Turtles movies (never seen ’em, never will), but I’ll be glad to deny this one.

  24. China, I hope your watching this cause you’re the ones keeping this franchise afloat.

    • Chinese authorities only let in a small number of foreign films, so the kids flock to these blockbusters just to say that they’ve seen them and are therefore ‘cool’. As long as the choice is restricted, dumb action blockbusters will keep doing well in China.

  25. Mitchell Martinez

    The more people ignore this franchise, the better. Don’t give it your money, Doug. There is no chance it could possibly be worth it.

  26. Doug not watching Transformers, AVGN not watching Ghostbusters…I really wish the masses would share this opinion.

    If only people would stop watching Marvel films. You’d think the reskin Iron Man over and over formula would have bored the masses by now but its been years and its still going very strong.

    The ‘problem’ here is that people go to see movies to kill time. They don’t exclusively go to support projects they want more of. You have families seeing terrible kids movies to entertain the kids for an evening. Doesn’t matter if its the lorax or Zootopia to goal is to see whatever is on.

    Transformers takes this to another level. You have people who hate the movie who will see it to laugh at it. It’s a franchise driven on genuine fandom but also hate and both are probably equally profitable. This franchise can’t fail unless they foolishly decide to start taking risks with it.

    • The Real Silverstar

      What movies other people like or dislike shouldn’t affect you. If YOU’RE tired of the Marvel films, simply stop going to the theaters to see them. Don’t give ’em any more of your money. Don’t watch ’em anymore, just ignore ’em. Why does it matter what the public does? They’re not spending *your* money.

      Like Jay Sherman says: “If the movie stinks, just don’t go.” I’ve never understood why people devote so much time and energy to ranting and hating on things they don’t like when ignoring them is just so much easier. I’d rather geek out on what I do like than grumble about what I don’t. The stuff I don’t like I just don’t watch. It’s literally that simple.

  27. Dougs ending speech applies so much to the Marvel Universe. 85% of them are Iron Man 1. 10% Avengers. 5% are deadpool. 3 somewhat distinct movies out of dozens. Awful.

    • I’d argue that Avengers 1, 2, and Civil War were too similar, and the Iron Man sequels weren’t needed, but some of them were good to begin with. (not the Iron Man sequels, they sucked)

      but Ant Man, The first two Captain America Movies, and Guardians of the Galaxy were unique and enjoyable.

      X-Men, Fantastic 4, Spiderman (until now) and Deadpool aren’t MCU, they’re Sony or Fox.

      • TragicGuineaPig

        I have a theory – and I might have already shared this with you: when the MCU tries to do a straight superhero film, it comes across as shtick. But when they blend the superhero film with other genres – like Heist (Ant Man), War (Captain America), Spy-Thriller (Winter Soldier), or Space Opera (Guardians) – they work on a different level and are much more enjoyable, partly because they aren’t following the shtick.

        To me, that’s why I felt the Thor films weren’t that good. It was their chance to blend Superhero with Fantasy Epic (a la LOTR), and they stuck too closely with the Superhero shtick instead. And Thor just BEGS to be made into a Fantasy Epic!

        I never did get to see Dr. Strange, but there was an opportunity to blend Superhero with Cosmic/Supernatural Horror.

        I enjoyed Civil War for the character development. The plot itself is weak, but I really felt like they did well enough with giving you a sense of the characters’ motives. Except maybe for Spider-Man. He felt shoe-horned in. Probably because Marvel only got the rights to him at the last minute. I do kind of like that it was a Mundane who took down the team of Supers, but what he was doing and how his plan was going to play out felt a bit forced somehow.

        • TragicGuineaPig

          I finally saw Dr. Strange last night. I only have one question: how come The Ancient One doesn’t have a blue arrow on her forehead? Because she looks like she should have a blue arrow on her forehead. Yip Yip!

          • Because she doesn’t have air powers. You have to have air powers to put an arrow on your forehead. (See also: Red Tornado.)

  28. A REALTransformers Fan

    Hell, I’m still gonna see it. Not only because of franchise fandom duties, but because there might be something very profound hidden within all of the Bayisms. Sure, Transformers has had plenty of failures throughout its 33 years of existence, but it’s still pressing on because we still think that robots turning into (not robots) is the coolest damn thing.

    “I’m asking you to look at all the junk and see the treasure.”- Transformers: Age of Extinction

    • Thank you very much, A REAL Transformers Fan.

      • ThatRandomGuest

        It’s not too wrong for people to want to see more from Transformers.

        Even though I like the films as a guilty pleasure, I can assure you that they can be a lot better. The comics and the animated series like Animated and Prime even showed us that.

      • “Thank you very much, A REAL Transformers Fan.”
        That HAD to have been sarcasm.

    • I grew up with G1 toys, TV show, and the 1986 movie. They were enjoyable adventures with cool robot fights.

      Honestly though? How do you tell the Bay-formers apart? I guess Bumble Bee is mostly yellow, but the rest look like indistinguishable piles of CG rendered shrapnel with a vaguely humanoid shape. When they fight, it’s like watching a junkyard in an earthquake.

      • ThatRandomGuest

        I think a lot of the Autobots are rather easy to tell apart since they tend to have different colors, armor, alt modes, etc. For example Drift looks a bit like a Samurai, Ironhide has huge cannons on his arms, Dino’s red and has blade weapons attached to his arms, Ratchet’s an emergency vehicle, and Optimus is red and blue and has pointy ears and a retractable mouth guard.

        Can’t really say the same for a majority of the Decepticons. Sure I can tell who Megatron, Starscream, and the animal based Decepticons are but the others? Not so much which is a shame. The Decepticons are really fun characters in other incarnations.

    • TheSuicidalTeddybear

      A real fan who calls Transformers robots…

  29. Yup, these movies are dumb, overly expensive, ugly, manipulative wastes of time.

    I dunno if it’s better or worse that they’re giving the primarily teenage boy audience a proper teenage girl character instead of the first few films where audience stand-in/avatar Sam was rewarded with an adult female sex object…but I’m sure we’ll have plenty of vaguely humanoid junk piles of CG barf in slow motion with low sweeping angles and explosions.

  30. I did stop seeing the Transformers movies after Revenge of the Fallen, I did not see any other after it, not even on tv

    • I just point out that only RotF is that bad.. rest is on level of first.. still shit, but not RotF level of abomination.

      • TragicGuineaPig

        Two things:

        1. Revenge of the Fallen was the movie that convinced me not to spend ANY money on Bayformers ever again. It was so bad, I feel that the others deserve my derision just to make up for how bad RotF was.

        2. To me, RotF is so bad, I once saw the DVD lying on the side of the road when I was walking home from the pub. Not only did I not pick up what would have been a free DVD, but I contemplated getting my vehicle and coming back to run over it a few times. I decided just to leave it there; I didn’t want to get my fingers dirty from physical contact with the disk.

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