Van Helsing – Nostalgia Critic

With all these monsters together you’d think this would be epic as Hell! Too bad we have to focus on Wolverine’s hand-me-downs. The Nostalgia Critic reviews 2004’s Van Helsing.

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About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

15 comments

  1. Seriously Doug, you are looking for things to mock where there are none. Firstly, requiescat in pace, its latin, means rest in peace. Secondly, why the hell would you care about character development in a monster movie?! Its goddamn Van Helsing! What kinds of super intriguing characteristics are you looking for? Everyone knows who he is. More action scenes? Oh no, not the action in a monster movie!

    • This is seriosuly one of worst reviews. Who the hell cares about backstories of characters you knew for your whole life? Its like telling Batmans origin over and over again in every movie. Why would you complain about action scenes in a goddamn action movie?? Couldnt disagree more with everything you said in this review.

    • Doug Walker making up problems and contradicting past reviews just so he can find things to complain about? Wow, I’ve never seen him do that before. But yeah, it’s not as painful as his James and the Giant Peach review where I swear he purposely misinterpreted 90% of that film’s plot just to find problems, but this was still pretty bad.

  2. welp, another childhood movie he shits on, yay….at least I have 1 childhood movie left and I’m gonna reveal what it is as to not risk him nitpicking it

  3. Did you really complain about too many action scenes? Okay, that one seems like a nit-pick. Oh! Actually, when I was a kid I remember walking in on my mom watching this movie because I remember DO YOU LIKE TO FLYANNAH?! but then I just circled back and left the room. 10:35-11:00 cracked me up.

  4. Seriously, VanHelsing? I mean it was corny, but there are far worse Halloween films out there, like the one I’ve been asking for for years, Casper Meets Wendy, which I feel really needs a review from you and is 100 times worse then this film.

  5. -sigh- You know, I was half hoping he would let-up on this movie towards the end as another one of those Halloween guilty pleasures. Hell, he did that for Hocus Pocus, which he went on the record saying that he didn’t think it was good.

    I personally didn’t care that it wasn’t in-depth. I didn’t mind that the two leads were boring. I watched Van Helsing because of the gothic Movie Monster aesthetic, and it’s why I continue watching it when I can.

  6. … You do realize that Van Helsing is just as much a horror icon as Dracula, right? They premiered in the same book, for goodness’ sake!

  7. he’s eating her liver!

  8. If I wasn’t already busy with Fallen Kingdom I would’ve teared this “review” apart.

  9. Great review. But I’m very sick of people nitpicking on calling Frankestein’s Monster for Frankenstein.
    It/he is considered the doctors son, by both of them, so it makes sense to give him the last name, even if you disagree at least insist on Adam instead, because insisting he’s just the Monster shows ignorance of the story

  10. A little history lesson: Transylvania was ours (Austro-Hungarian Monarchy) in 1887. We lost it when we got fucked by every European power after WW1. We got punished worse than Germany, we lost 67% of our country.
    And yeah, we are still bitter about it. Fuck Europe.

  11. 4:37 Not as much as Matthew Broderick.
    12:05 Not if Nicolas Cage has anything to say about that.
    26:23 “This” was the dumbest part of the movie.
    Seeing Anna getting knocked around all throughout the movie
    and walking away without a scratch ——
    only to get pushed into a comfy couch —- and THAT kills her!?!?!????

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