We Wish You a Turtle Christmas – Nostalgia Critic

Tis the season for turtle music! NC kicks off the Christmas season with something that’s sure to turn you green. It’s a Turtle Christmas!

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.

148 comments

  1. How did I not know about this? My tiny turtle mind would’ve been all over this as a kid—no matter how bad it was!

  2. I would have expected the beginning for the intro to be torn up and then the critic would yell christmas!!!! but hey I’ll take what I can get

  3. Oh Critic, I look forward to seeing your Christmas Spirit every year. It’s absolutely infectious!

  4. Oh God…. Whhhhhhyyyyy?! XD

    • lol, the NC was waaaay too excited for Christmas this year! XD

      Hilarious review like always, Doug. I went to go visit my parents for Thanksgiving and I actually found my VHS of this while going through my old things. I was about 16 at the time this was out and I was already growing out of TMNT. I remember getting this for Christmas that year and hating it so much that I was pretty much done with TMNT at that point in my life.

      My interest in TMNT was rekindled with the 2003 show and the 1987 show finally coming to DVD a year later, but I’ll always remember this piece of shit for convincing me to stop liking the TMNT when I was 16.

    • I can’t unsee all the male turtle camel toe in these costumes.

      • Also…… Those aren’t soap flakes the turtles are standing under. that’s good old fashioned asbestos ^_~ & those particular costumes were never seen or heard from again.

  5. “Christmas has everything you could want.”

    That it does. Consumerism, Capitalism, people bursting into stores at 10:00 Thanksgiving Night to clamor and kill one another over cheap consumer goods. A month of hearing 10 versions of the same six songs in every store you go into, Peppermint-flavored everything (Peppermint: the Pumpkin Spice of December), people being generally ruder than normal due to their desire to buy things in crowded stores and malls; in most of the country there’s unfavorable weather that often produces very dangerous driving conditions, oh and something about some religious figure supposedly being born around this date 2000+ years ago.

    Wait…. Why do we like Christmas so much again?

    Sorry, sorry, I just don’t “get” Doug’s (or TNC’s depending how much this aspect bleeds between them) loves Christmas so much. I doubt it’s for religious reasons as Doug doesn’t strike me as a religious person so…. What else is there? Because remove the Jesus stuff and all you’re left with people madly going around buying things for the sake of buying them in hopes of winning the “love” of their friends and family.

    The notion summed up in a Best Buy commercial (that’s been airing since late October!) where a man confidently strides into a Best Buy with a V/O saying how he’ll “win” Christmas this year because he went to Best Buy to purchase those on his gift-list expensive electronics. That, in a nut shell, sums up Christmas for me. It starts over a month before the Holiday and it’s all centered around people wanting to spend the most amount of money in order to gain, confirm and prove their love for someone in their life.

    Yes. Christmas. The best time of the year.

    • When you look at it like that then yeah it seems stupid, but what these preachy Christmas specials say are true. Let this be the time of year where you and your love ones just celebrate the year and having each other. My family just makes a big meal and just get presents for the kids while the adults have a good time. It’s always easy to point out the bad aspects of Christmas time, but its easy to forget the good it brings.

    • I agree on all of that, I really do. But when I read your comment, I find myself wondering if you aren’t forgetting something…?

      Like…The day itself?

      Sure the preparation for a holiday where every-single-person wishes their loved ones the perfect gifts, food and happiness can lead to stress-full, capitalistic moments. Believe me, I know. Everyone rushes to the stores in preparation for getting their loved ones what they wanted, and the stores are making a big deal out of squeezing this out untill the last drop, but it is all in preperation for something that, in my opinion, is wonderful; Christmas day itself.

      I don’t know if you celebrate the day pleasantly, and frankly, it is none of my business if you do, but the day itself is very special to me. My family is all there, we are together and happy, and we wish each other the best and hopefully managed to give the best.

      To me, THAT is Christmas…..and yeah, that that day begins with a lot of commercials that make you believe that the holiday is just about the best buys….that says more about your ability to fall for a commercial rather than for a holiday.

      • Plus a kabajillion. In my mind, only one person is allowed to complain about Christmas being “commercialized”. That man is Charles Schulz. He nailed it. Nobody else can come close to a real proper complaint, because it’s just not that much of a problem. Yes, there are sales. Yes, people spend lots. But they’re spending lots because for one day out of the year they want to get the people they love some cool stuff, and you know what? Not everyone can afford to ignore sales. Sales are good. Sales are useful.

        How dare we accentuate our affectionate words with physical, tangible objects that we invested money in! How dare we try to make our loved ones happy by buying them useful or fun gifts that they can derive enjoyment from! How dare we use the day as an excuse to frequent soup kitchens, to run food drives, to eat well and celebrate the ideals of generosity!

        The holiday season is a time of love, peace and giving. Yes, assholes will keep being assholes straight through December. So what? Do you think *Halloween* is gonna stop them?

    • You’re an atheist, aren’t you?!?!

      Christmas DOES have everything you can want…JESUS!!!!!!

      AND DOUG IS RELIGOUS, YOU HAVEN’T SEEN A LOT OF HIS VVIDEOS, HAVE YOU?! HE IS!!

      JESUS IS EVERYTHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS!!

      Sorry…but I LOVE CHRISTMAS and I get offended if anyone insults my Lord and Savior and bad mouthing counts as insulting him!!

      • I think Doug mentioned in an Adventure Time vlog he’s agnostic, which means he’s not sure whether there is a god or not.

        • Agnostics believe in some sort God, they just believe he is a “hands off” kinda thing. Basically he created the Universe and…that’s it…it just goes on its own. Many also don’t believe in the concept of a Heaven or Hell either.

          It’s Athiests that do not believe in a God.

          • Nope- you’re thinking of deism.
            “Agnostic” on its own is a near-meaningless identifier born of the misconception that atheism dogmatically asserts that there is no god in the same way that religion dogmatically asserts that there is one. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bit confusing: in fact, I once thought the same thing, and used the word to describe myself. The two-axis/four-quadrant model of (a)gnosticm and (a)theism did a lot of good to clarify things.

          • All of this off-topic religious natter. No wonder the comment section is moderated for approval now. Don;t pull this shit again guys, stay on topic. No politics or religion.

      • I like how this post reads to me like someone trying very hard to bait people into religion bashing, and people just got sidetrekked trying to work out Doug’s religious convictions.

        Doug does totally fit the stereotype for agnostics, though—he tends to lean towards “truth is in the middle/appeal to moderation”-type stuff. ;D

      • Doug’s a self proclaimed agnostic, he was raised catholic and seems to not have anything against religion. However one of the reasons he loves Christmas is that to him it embodies the best messages of religion and spreads it to everyone, even to secular people.

      • You get offended if someone tells you that you are basically full of shit??
        Your Lord and Savior? How has He directly helped you? did he make money
        appear for you? Did he somehow make your life better? Anything you attribute to
        religion and how prayer makes good things happen can all be answered with the
        fact that when someone feels empowered in any way, and they have a positive
        outlook on life, they will in turn tend to have good things happen to them. You
        could in, in theory, get the same exact results from a motivational speaker like
        Tony Robbins or the like.

    • It’s the CHARACTER that is so into Christmas, not so much Doug himself. Remember: TNC is a selfish materialistic bastard and Christmas, to him, is all about RECIEVING.

    • SOMEONE didn’t get a tickle me Elmo for Christmas, did they?

    • That is not how I experience Christmas…not at all. For starters, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Around the time the American fight for cheap stuff and gobble down turkey, I am standing with my mother in the kitchen in order to bake a ton of Christmas cookies…some traditional ones, sometimes we experience a little bit. It’s decorating the house one day before the first advent, not by climbing on the roof, but by hanging up mostly self-made decorations. It’s lighting a candle every Sunday on expectation. It’s a few stressful days in which everyone struggles to get done what needs to get done at work followed by the most calm days of the year. Just spending time with the family (and yes, in my case this is a good thing), eating lobster (because that is the easier Christmas dinner you can have, nobody is forced to stand in the kitchen for hours) and then playing cards. It’s drinking met and Feuerzangenbowle, and just enjoying that for once nobody has to travel to some kind of meeting or needs to rush to a customer with an emergency. It’s watching movies, eating the good stuff and just enjoying yourself. It’s having a family breakfast which lasts two hours because everyone is enjoying himself so much. And if you think that Christmas is anything else, I feel sorry for you.

    • And why did you think a websites that’s centered around movie and game reviews is the right plattform fo this comment? Shouldn’t this go on Twitter, or your facebook feed or a relevant subreddit? Sorry, but your comment is just not relevant to the video at all

  6. Larry and Barry? …As in Nux from Mad Max Fury Road’s tumors? Is there some connection I’m not seeing?

  7. It happened, it actually happened: the NC blew up the world from excitement over Christmas.

  8. At least it’s not The Biker Mice from Mars Hanukkah.

  9. I literally died inside =_=

  10. “Mommy, what’s an interspecies relationship?”

  11. Was wondering what you would do with this special, since James and Alison reviewed it too, and… I could not stop laughing.

    • Now that Lupa is no longer with Channel Awesome Doug can review anything she’s already done and do it without a guilty conscience. It wouldn’t be the first time and it won’t be the last.

    • Hopefully this will be the final time I stumble across one of these. They’ve been entertaining and all, but having to endure those Five Nights at Freddie’s rejects three times is enough mental scarring for my lifetime.

  12. Are you gonna review Space Ace? The video game with the same kind of animation like Dragon’s Lair?

  13. Heck, it REALLY was made? Wow. And I thought that “turtle books” in Russia were sell outs…Though, they were. Illigal ones and made of pure copy/paste and plagiarism. And I need to ask my brother if they were at least a liiiiitle bit less stupid.
    Review is fun and almost classic-style (WALL IS DEFINETELY WRONG, though :D). Interesting, what is behind all that zombie-ending…Curiously awaiting:)

  14. The Ninja Turtles are named after Italian Renaissance artists and Italy is known for opera. There’s your connection.

    • But the Italian Renaissance artists painted and sculpted. It also took several hundred years after that for opera to really take off.

      Then again, what do Italian Renaissance artists have to do with surfing and skateboards? At the very least, their appetite for pizza seems to make a bit more sense now.

  15. THE CINEMATIC MIND

    Any NC video that is related to Ninja Turtles is guaranteed to be fantastic.

  16. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Christmas? Sure, why not? It could be worse, we could get something like a Walking Dead Christmas with singing zombies, or a Sharknado Christmas.

  17. Gosh darnit i was going to review this!

    I watched it two times for nothing!

  18. Well time to find my VHS copy of this…

  19. Oh my god… that is one awful special…. the Turtles scare the crap outta me in this!
    But damn, do I love NC during the Christmas time!

  20. *insert Planet of the Apes ending scene*

  21. Jonathan Gillispie

    Neimoidians. They’re called neimoidians.

  22. was don bleuth the charity this week?

  23. Oh, the good old times, when i could watch a full episode of NC without 10 sec buffering every 5 second. :O DO SOMETHING ALREADY!

  24. I remember this special. I too was growing out of the turtles phase.

  25. flamethrower-guitar

    A friend and I recently discovered this gem while in a competition to find the worst thing featuring Ninja Turtles ever. We dug through a lot of crap but this one takes the cake. Doug is right, though, it is totally worth watching just for how hilariously bad it is.

    I love how through half of the songs whoever isn’t singing is just shuffling around awkwardly. During Leo’s little Jamaican segment I refuse to acknowledge as a song, Donnie just looks embarrassed. He spends the whole time staring at the tree, like maybe if he doesn’t make eye contact with Leo he’ll stop singing.

    Our other favorite bit is in the “Gotta Get a Gift for Splinter” segment when one of the turtles suggests golf clubs and another says “No, Splinter’s not athletic!” Uh, Splinter’s not athletic? The NINJA MASTER who trained all of you isn’t athletic?

    So yeah, horribly entertaining special, but it was a joy to see you review it!

  26. I bumped into this in July while I started getting serious about being a nerd (It was Freedom Planet that awakened this beast within me!) even taking the unspoken challenge of the Nerd and Critic by watching the third movie and the Coming Out Of Our Shell tour. It was a little funky, yes, but I didn’t mind it.

    • I so want to find a copy of the Coming Out of Our Shells concert. My two younger brothers and I are sitting in the front center section called The Cowabunga section. What a fun and goofy time that was!

  27. You’re not alone on this Doug. All dogs go to heaven is easily one of my favorite animated films of all time. I always thought Little foot losing his Mom was done way better than Bambi’s mom death scene. It left a bigger impact on me.

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