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Fantastic review! I had not seen this movie, but it sounds confusing by the review. I was curious about this movie for the heck of it, but I decided to watch Sponge Out of Water instead. I’d say it was a good decision. Better to not spend money ironically.
Wait, so there’s actually a supposed PLOT to Fifty Shades of Grey? I thought it was just a sex abuse porn flick. I thought creators knew that no one gives a shit about plot in porn
Women care about plot in porn. The build up of the romance and context is what turns us on.
I’m speechless… because you’re so complex… Seriously though… I tried to read the book… didn’t get too far.
Spawned from Twilight series. That does not sound promising… So it´s like how much the author of one series knows about vampires, knows about Bdsm. Whoo…
The story actually began as the author’s Twilight fanfiction.
my god….. does this mean wattpads fanfiction may actually get… published!?!??!!??!
I don’t know. I don’t use wattpad, I use fanfiction.net … and I just opened myself to ridicule, didn’t I?
…And last I checked, after her fanfic was removed from several sights, the author went about getting it published as a novel with original characters (in other words, she just replaced the names)
ANY fuckface can get their shit published anymore. They published Twilight and this piece of shit didn’t they?
it exists already, it’s called “After” by Anna Todd and it’s based on the guys from One Direction.
Dear God…
I saw all your Harry Potter, Twilight, and several other reviews. But this tops the cake by far for the best review you’ve ever done. I was wondering how you were going to do the BDSM moments. Hands down, the best moments of the review. I’m so hoping you see the sequels and continue with this. It’s too hilarious.
haha nice job, my question though how could you do this without cracking up every other second
Never read the book and don’t care about the movie.
But damn, this was funny. Hopefully in a few years we’ll see an NC on this.
I’m a Twilight fan and even I don’t want to see 50 Shades of Gray. This was hilarious! 😀
I’m sorry, my brain immediately shut down after the “I’m a Twilight fan and..” part.
No desire to see this. No desire to read the books. I was very very very very very very very very briefly interested when I found out Marcia Gay Harden joined the cast (she’s awesome, and I enjoy her performances usually), but then I regained my sense and steered clear of this movie…like the freaking plague!
This lady had absolutely no real reason to fall for this guy other than the fact that he’s handsome and rich. Personality wise, he’s quite creepy. But I guess being handsome and rich knocks down the creepy meter a couple of notches.
No i doesn’t or I’d Be doing a lot better.
Bottom line, watch “Kingsman: The Secret Service” instead. You know I’m right.
Indeed.
I have heard it described as Fifty Shades of What the Hell Did I Just Watch.
All right. This is the best description of this movie I have seen so far.
I know this couldn’t have been an easy one to watch, Doug. You have my sympathies.
Good one. Your always right when it comes to these movies and you did not disappoint this time. Funny review and next is disney’s live action Cinderella movie that’s getting a bum review(if I’m correct).
It’s funny. I looked that up out of mere curiosity, and it’s already getting positive reviews. Keep in mind, most of them aimed at Cate Blanchett’s performance. Which… called it. When I saw the trailers, I said, “Cate Blanchett and HBC are gonna be the only highlights of this movie.”
And I’m digressing.
That’s what brad Jones said about Cinderella too.
PLEASE tell me you did not actually give your money to this film.
That was really funny, those kinky moments killed me hahaha.
Watch Secretary instead.
Alright, I know this is a more comedic review. But I really hope that, if you do a more serious review, you take an even-handed view on the BDSM elements. Because it felt like you were mocking the fact that a woman who enjoys BDSM is empowering. Which is not only erroneous, but also legitimizes the fans’ rebuttal that BDSM isn’t abuse, therefore the relationship isn’t abusive.
The books were definitely shitty, yes (can’t comment on the movie because I haven’t seen it and have no desire to). But they weren’t shitty because they had BDSM. They were shitty because of how they portrayed BDSM.
People really need to read the comic series SUNSTONE instead of wasting there time on this film and book.
That last gag was perfect!
Uh, joke, I mean.
I’ve watched the review four times already, and I’m still laughing!
I can’t believe you called this the greatest movie you’ve ever seen in your life. I know it’s Chester A. Bum but I figured that would be too much of a stretch even for him.
I think Chester represents that guy that we all know… the guy who, for the life of him, CANNOT find a bad movie. Hell, for the early part of my childhood to my mid-teenage years, I WAS that guy.
…
And then I saw “Knowing” starring Nicholas Cage…and then I started being able to separate good from bad.
hahaha, I laughed so hard at “Oh wait! There IS.”
Could you do a review of the Guru? It really needs to be thrashed.
I never noticed how nice the Bum’s jacket is…
Chester does a much better job acting than whoever this “Grey” guy.