Christian Mingle: The Movie – The Cinema Snob

The Cinema Snob sees the movie version of the Christian Mingle dating site.

About thecinemasnob

Brad Jones portrays The Cinema Snob, a pretentious film snob who is stuck with reviewing Z-Grade exploitation flicks of the past. I'm a big guy. For you.


  1. I’ve heard of, but I never logged on to it. Probably because I have better things in mind, like …uh. …Binge watching the first 23 seasons of Power Rangers? …God, I’m lonely.

    Why, Lacey Chabert? Why be in a Christian film? You were in good stuff like The Wild Thornberrys, Mean Girls, and Young Justice (And no, I haven’t watched Party of Five). And I agree with you, Brad, that she got out of Family Guy while she still could.

    1:41- I’ll stick with REAL company logos, like Warner Bros., thank you very much.

    3:09- Never stop using that clip from Old Fashioned. Also, GO TO FUCKIN’ HELL, CLAY!

    3:34- And I’m 31 and single. I’m also fine with that.

    5:41- I was also thinking that this movie is turning into the

    Christian version of Sex & the City, but with no nudity, sex scenes, or swearing.

    7:09- I just realized that this is also a romantic comedy version of The Pretender.

    Steak and cake? Speaking as a Christian myself, we do not have cake as a side dish for cake.

    15:19- I take it that this set was also used in the movie Delta Farce.

    17:37- If Donald Trump hired someone like Gwen in his administration, he would be impeached much faster.

    21:44- And thing movie has officially turned into a Lifetime romantic thriller.

    This movie is still better than Old Fashioned.
    24:18- And now we know why Ned Flanders is in the title card for this episode.

  2. TragicGuineaPig

    “Christian Mingle: The Movie”. WHAT? W H A T ??

    I haven’t even watched the review yet, and I can’t stop laughing at the concept.

  3. Crazy thought here. When she learned the guy was going to Mexico why didn’t she use the site to match her with someone else?

  4. Wow I never thought I’d say this but I think I have now finally seen a worse portrayal of a relationship featuring a character played by Lacey Chabert then Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. Yeah at that game bad as it is didn’t have Elise go “oh BTW I’m single and lonely so am only pretending to be into hedgehogs and then totally get things about hedgehog culture wrong acting like a fucking idiot for no god damn reason.” Seriously as she not heard of any other dating site whatsoever to have to pretend to be Christian just to be with a guy? Like god damn I’ve lied about shit on the internet before like everyone has but if you actually plan on acting out in person to someone try and at least think through your actions somewhat. Then again if anyone thought about this movie it wouldn’t of been made so… yeah why did no one think through this movie? Oh well still a good review. Heh wonder if Walt Right lives with Rosie Rabbit’s annoying boyfriend that sometimes looks like the Snob. That’d be a funny back and forth… granted Brad would have to do some serious green screen work and be talking back and forth in two different costumes so doubt it would happen but would still be funny.

  5. Yeah and one insult or spoof or parody against the Muslim peoples cinematic or otherwise and they’ll send you something that will turn you into Napoleon Blownapart.

    • That’s right; all Muslims are terrorists, even the ones who aren’t. Americans would never do anything like that. So that white guy who shot all those black people in a church must’ve been a Muslim.

      And before anyone labels me an SJW (which is a stupid term, anyways), I’m not. I’m just too smart for stupid shit.

  6. I think we’re as Americans no matter what our politics or religious or social stance is are really scared shitless of most Muslims and their Allah power, if we’re not careful they’ll fucking rise up, conquer the freaking world (Mother Earth which they could on the verge of doing so because we Civilized Westerners unleashed them ourselves especially Uncle Sam this nation) and they’ll fucking kill us all, they can be friendly enough, but if they feel that extremist Jihadist Allah Holy War spirit, they’ll simply make things very difficult for us Christian and Jewish human beings among even others like Hindu and Buddhist humans too, so don’t make fun of them at least too much, or bravely take a risk or only make fun or satirize of Turkish culture and maybe some Iranian, Hell even we Jews you should know have to live in fear and hatred from our Abrahamic brothers (Less modern bigotry from Christians, than from Muslims these days). Most Sunni Muslims are indeed worse as in more austere and undemocratic than Iranian Shiite Muslims, fact.

    • Yeah, that’s right. White Americans should instinctively fear and hate anyone who’s even slightly different from them. All Muslims are terrorists and extremists. Fox News says it, so it MUST be true!

      You can thank our current President Loud Mouth McDumb Ass for taking White Americans’ fear, prejudice and pre-conceived notions of those scary brown people and cranking them up to 11.

  7. So, is going to make a movie also?

  8. Hahah outdoor trashcan that she keeps in the kitchen!

  9. What the fuck was it with the “Steaks and Cakes” scene?!? O.O

  10. why is the protagonist of a supposedly christian movie such a transparently self centered bitch? What kind of message are they trying to send here? Convert to Christianity not because you want to develop a relationship with God but because ur insecure about being single and single-mindedly focused on a relationship with a religious person? I don’t even believe in God and that’s a terrible religious moral! And who thought it was a good idea to try to use this movie to market christian mingle outside its target demogrpahic?

  11. Cinnamon Scudworth

    If we’re getting movies based on commodities like emojis then it’s a short leap from there to movies based on websites. This is just the beginning.

    Watch for Amazon: The Movie (which “reveals” the company is actually a community of literal Amazon warriors who have a limited amount of time to deliver an important package before the world is destroyed)

    Twitter: The Movie (the bird logo escapes into the real world and messes up some guy’s apartment but he can’t kick him out because they form a bond)

    And YouTube: The Movie (starring Josh Gad as PewDiePie, Seth Rogen as Jake Paul and TJ Miller as Doug Walker)

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