DVD-R Hell: Tequila and Bonetti: Teach Your Children

Tequila and Bonetti talk burritos and poodles, while chasing down The Parking Lot Rapist.

About thecinemasnob

Brad Jones portrays The Cinema Snob, a pretentious film snob who is stuck with reviewing Z-Grade exploitation flicks of the past. I'm a big guy. For you.


  1. Moviemantweeter1999

    When you mentioned the series golden boy that sounded familiar to me but I’m wasn’t sure at the time. Then I went to google and then it came to mind. Another good episode review from you brad but I would like to know the name of the actress who played rose cause she looked pretty.

  2. It’s weird but the shows constant whip lash between dog related shennanigans and serious police procedure with rapists and stuff reminds me of the austrian show Kommissar Rex. The dog doesn’t talk on that show and is a different breed but it has a similiar feel to it.

    14:42 Why the fuck aren’t the Game of Thrones villains that unsettling and creepy?!

    20:35 Maybe he actually is barking and the audience hears it as talking?

    I can see why that show didn’t catch on but I also have to agree with you that it’s kinda awesome.

  3. Oh my God this show is magical!

  4. Given that the villain in this episode is a rapist, maybe the show should have been called “Tequila and Bonetti: SVU.” And considered who’s playing Bonetti’s human partner, that would have been especially appropriate.

    On a more nitpicky note, how the heck did Mr. Parking Lot Rapist find out where Garcia lived?

  5. They had to put the Parking Lot Rapist back on the streets, otherwise the episode would have been over, and we couldn’t have a scene where the dog reads him his rights.

    Coming from an Italian family that didn’t live in Brooklyn, hearing Brooklyized Italian still drives me crazy for some reason. Actually they lived on a farm in upstate New York.

  6. Bonetti is Sicilian? That’s like double the Italian!

    I guess putting the drawing of Tequila on the wall of fallen heroes was a bit of foreshadowing.

  7. Is no one going to mention the irony of Mariska Hargitay doing a rape case in this show? And how her reaction to said attempted rape was the exact opposite of what Olivia Benson would do, and frankly is sort of insulting in hindsight because no trained female cop worth their salt would react like that?

    No? Just me? Okay then. Maybe it’s just a little hard for me to watch that episode after the events of the recent Surrender Benson arc on SVU. (As an aside, you pronounced her name wrong in the last episode, Brad. It’s pronounce Mar-ISH-ka.)

    …I’m a complete dork for all things SVU, okay? Don’t you judge me.

  8. When it comes to picking up kids, notes don’t do it at the schools in this area. You need a note the day of, a phone call the day of, and the person needs to be on the Pick Up List. When picking up my Mom’s friend’s daughter I had to wait in the hall for about two minutes while they checked my name and ID against a list. They then checked the notes that said, “Papallion or Bravo Girl will be picking the kid up, phone call OKed, has note.” Kiddo was mine until six when her Dad was off work

    The have a Pick Up List since there was a parental abduction. Mom had custody and Dad was wanted for drugs and domestic violence, and he came to the school. Luckily the mom had made he call that he was violent and not allowed in! After that the Pick Up List became a thing.

  9. I just love it when a show things an attempted rapist can get off scott free because “he wasn’t read his Miranda rights”.


  10. Yeah, I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen a dog walk past and been like “Oh, man! If she was a human, I’d totally be gettin’ DOWN with that!”

  11. Do a review of “The Forbidden Zone” !! 😀

  12. When they don’t say the rapist’s miranda rights again and Tequila raps it to him I couldn’t stop laughing. This show is just beyond ridiculous. Great find Brad! When the rapist was on the dock I was almost hoping there would be a Baywatch crossover with David Hasselhoff because why the fuck not?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.