Milk Money – Nostalgia Critic

The Nostalgia Critic reviews the ultimate family picture, 1994’s Milk Money. Milk Money was released on August 31st, 1994 and stars: Melanie Griffith, Ed Harris, Michael Patrick Carter, Malcolm McDowell and Anne Heche. The movie was directed by Richard Benjamin.

About Doug Walker

Creator of 5 Second Movies, Nostalgia Critic, Bum Reviews and more.


  1. TheCommentPlague

    This movie is just horrendous.

  2. Oh god. This movie…

  3. If they had made Milk Money more about women’s rights and not shaming sex workers rather than about three boys’ perverse adventures, I think it could have been really interesting, actually. But no, it had to be subliminally misogynistic and creepy as hell.

    • To be fair, most of it weren’t about their perverse adventures, but other than that, you’re right on the money. And what’s extra annoying to me is that the villain was shoehorned in. I’d have actually had quite a bit of respect for this movie if either she was just an independent full service sex worker or the head mob guy who was like “sure go” was the only bit of the mob we saw instead. Plus, the costume and makeup department dropped the ball with V (Vi? Vee?), or the writers did, because she looks like a multi-thousand dollar call girl, but that clearly wasn’t the intent. Take the focus from the kids to the dad and her, get rid of the “all sex work is abusive” bullshit, toss out the villain altogether, and focus the plot around her and the dad falling in love, and, if you wanna be fantastic, don’t have her quit, but instead have the dad be like “alright, it’s your body, your choice” and they get their happily ever after anyways. You could even leave in how they meet, but not show so much of it.

  4. -Is this movies suppose to be an introduction kids to puberty
    -This kids are stupid
    -That is not a porno its a PG Movie
    -Full House is a hundred times better then this movies cause its good and this is meh
    -Wait the kid was left after class cause he did not a very good report cause he knows nothing about the subject and he is not thought about it
    -Dud she explained why she needed him to take the pants off
    -This movies is not that bad to be part of satan

  5. The taxi driver has that look that you know exactly what he’s thinking. “Fuckin’ white people.”

  6. To be fair to the movie, eyes are very important for telling people apart, and I think quite a few random blonde women look almost the same. Sunglasses would make it even harder to tell which random blonde is the random blonde you’re looking for.

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